Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Fitting Timing by Mr. Ryan Adams

"maybe we will play again sometime and maybe i will work my way back into some kind of music situation, but this is the time for me to step back now, to reel it in and i wish everyone peace and happiness." -Ryan Adams

In another bid to align himself with (or totally parrot) the greats and to perpetuate his string of stabs at crossing over into as many genres as humanly possible, singer-songwriter Ryan Adams announced his retirement from music 10 years to the day that Michael Jordan announced his (first) retirement from basketball. Where did he announce this? The United Center? The Ryman Auditorium? His blog, of course.

We've seen Ryan- that's what I call him, that's what all his inner circle like me call him- do roots rock, country, alt country, 80s rock, depressing rock, hippie rock, and more. Who knew he had jock rock in him?

So what can we learn here?

Well, Ryan Adams, as has been thoroughly discussed on this very blog, is in a school of candidates for the Next Dylan, which is the musical version of the Next Jordan. Adams is not the Next Dylan or the Next Jordan, but some of these parallels have legs.

-Michael Jordan retired thrice, once for baseball once after the famous Bryon Russell pushoff (How Russell got away with such documented cheating is beyond me.), and once after his so-so stint with the Wizards. Ryan is on his first. But I wouldn't bet against a guy as prolific as Ryan easily breaking this particular Jordan record.

-Michael Jordan also unretired more than once. Ryan'll be back. A lifer (and a good one, at that) can't stay away for long. Will he be MJ on the Bulls? Or will he be MJ on the Wizards? Will he be Favre on the Jets? Will he be (trying to think of example of a non-Bulls-Jordan unretired jock who succeeded....still trying...give me a second...ok...just fill in your own great idea here)?

-Jordan toyed with baseball. Ryan's baseball is, um, writing books and "soul poetry." I hope his batting average is better than MJ's. But I wouldn't bet my pocket change on it.

-Michael Jordan never blogged. Ryan Adams is giving up blogging. The influence is becoming crystal clear. If I see Ryan Adams back his bike into a hotel concierge while talking to Michael about Hanes, I'm calling foul.

-Michael Jordan, with a Christopher-Guest-in-The-Princess-Bride-Handful of Championship Rings, had no worries about his legacy. Ryan is worried and says so. OK, so that is the anti-parallel. But perhaps he's worried about his legacy precisely because Jordan's was cemented.

-If you ask me, it sounds like he's using this as a way to dissemble the Cardinals. And I think Jordan wanted to prove to Scottie that he was a legitimate second banana.

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