Them Crooked Fortunes

Dear Seattle,

I am sorry for the dismal luck you have had with your most beloved, specifically the Sonics and Grunge. As if things aren't bad enough just thinking about what could've been, I can only imagine how its been a tough past week for you.

First, Dave Grohl was front and center during this last episode of Saturday Night Liveas a the drummer of a band reuniting. This was after he was behind the drum kit just killing it for the sake of killing it. I'm sure there is some consolation in seeing Dave actually playing some hard rock and having long hair again, but its probably very small if its there at all.

Then just last night the Team That Could Have Been (KD and the Boys) made a visit to your little brother (Portland). Not only did he have a game (33 and 11) but he reached a milestone only two other players in recent history have hit. He has now scored 25+ points in 25 straight games. Only The Answer and Air Jordan have surpassed that feat. I won't mention that they are in the playoff picture, pushing for home court, and have won 6 straight.

You might want to stay away from your TV's and computers this weekend with the All-Star game approaching. If Kobe isn't playing, KD is the front runner to get the MVP and has an official coming out party. You're going to want none of this type of news, especially if you're already rock bottom after last night in Portland.

Again, I am sorry things have worked out this way. You can only be excited about Pete Carroll for so long.

Sincerely,

Charlie T Hustle Jr.

More Potential Than You Were Ready To See-atle

Thump.

That was the sound the Magic made when OKC rolled them last night. Fine, there were some injuries- VC (but who's to say he wouldn't be hitting the OKC Post Office anyway? He has played well, but can we really hit reset so soon?) and Rashard Lewis. But what team is at 100% these days?

So, if you're a once-and-always-but-still-sadly-"former" Sonics fan, how does it feel to see the team that you grew up with, that you watched through thick and thin, all of the sudden show a real glimpse of (forgive me) GetItDoneAbility. Where does it fit on our Parallels To Nirvana scale?

It might be a little like:



Watching that first Foo Fighters video- the one that's a Mentos commercial spoof. You know, you're happy that Grohl is making it; of course you are, you knew he had it. It just feels a little...a little sooner than you were ready. And it's lacking the punch that Nirvana had and why is he being so easy-funny instead of ironic-funny like Kurt liked? But- whoa, wait, that's funny. And the song is kinda good. But it's just not the same.

910 Conversation: Northwest Division

DENVER NUGGETS

Last postseason, I found myself in a position I never thought I’d find myself: rooting for Carmelo Anthony. It surprised me, but it was really my only option once he was one of few remaining obstacles between a) Kobe and a Shaq-less ring, and b) Zenmeister and the breaking of Red Auerbach’s record. I had no choice.

Neither of us at TBC are Melo fans. We’ll be upfront about that. But neither of us are morons either. The kid can ball. He’s an all-star who can exploit almost any matchup either with the jumper, the drive or the inside game. And he has the assassin instinct. No one is saying any different here. Still, something about Melo rubs us the wrong way. And it’s not just because I’m a Jazz fan and I have intra-conference angst. I don’t like the way he carries himself. He tries to be a thug but doesn’t back it up (see: swing at a Knick then retreat). I dunno. Just can’t root for the guy.

But we’re willing to eat crow. (Ask the Kings.) Or, in this season’s case, Caramelos. Let it be written: every time one of us has to say something like “gotta hand it to Carmelo” or “I hate to say it, but that was clutch” or anything like that, we will eat a Caramelo. We’ll keep a running tally of how many Caramelos we have to eat all season as a sign that we’re willing to be wrong and admit it.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

We debated this one for awhile. Is Kevin Love the story? Is there a Ricky Rubio angle that hasn’t been leche-d a la muerte ? We liked the idea of Rambis and a clothesline, but Simmons got there first. It struck us that KG is way ahead of everybody on the T-Wolves all-time lists, to the point of being nearly untouchable. Such a young franchise with turnover like they’ve had doesn’t amass a lot of legacy. But we believe in Al Jefferson and his ability to be a legacy-type player. So, we’re tracking Al Jefferson’s ascent on the T-Wolves All-Time lists- scoring, rebounding, and whatever else he ascends. We’ll check in with who he ‘s passing. That means you, Terrell Brandon and Tom Gugliotta.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

OK, media, we get it. You love Durant. And, no, we won’t sleep on the Thunder. Don’t worry.

Who we’re worried about are those poor, swindled Seattle-ites. Having both spent some time up in the NW this season, we got in touch with the depression and angst and resignation and bitterness that the Thunder left. So we’re going to look at Levels of Depression with parallels between Sonics and Nirvana fans. What’s the equivalent of having to watch Kurt marry Courtney? Hearing the Foo Fighters borrow liberally from Tom Petty? Thinking about Krist Novalesic? Seeing animated Kurt sing Bush songs on Guitar Hero? These are our questions.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

So. Much. Hype.

So. Many. Expectations.

And to make things worse/better, Oden has shown signs of life in the always-reliable measuring stick that is the preseason.

This team is supposed to win. And supposed to win now. But will the hype hold up? We’ll gauge the Blazers’ success (and ability to live up to the never-ending buzz) on a scale that has Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion (a TBC whipping boy and, for the record, a completely overrated collection of “songs”) on the low end and The Hold Steady’s Boys And Girls In America (a TBC classic and, for the record, an album that everybody was freaking out [or backlashing against] about when it came out, only to have the hype actually not live up to the greatness of the record. So good.) on the high end. I don’t know for sure, but that would probably mean a trip to the Conference Finals at least. Ask me in the spring.

So. Much. Bolding. That bolding was disastrous, but it was either that or bold pretty much the entire paragraph.

UTAH JAZZ

Charlie T and I have given ourselves license and long leashes to talk about our favorite teams at will. No criteria. No need for any kind of objectivity whatsoever. And I am a Jazz fan. So prepare for some bias.