Spurned

If we were going to track the workmanlike predictability and consistency of the Spurs (like we said in our ambitious 910 Preview), then last night would be a big red (or in the Jazz's throwback case, green and yellow) anomaly.

Why?

During Pop's tenure, the Jazz had never swept the season series with the Spurs. Never. In fact, November's win at San Antonio was the first Jazz@Spurs win in, what, forever?

But there it was. Compliments of double doubles by D-Will and Boozer. Compliments of a big all-around (especially on offense) game by Kirilenko. And gutsy play by the benchguys- Milsap, even my love/hate whipping boy Ronnie Price. And maybe compliments of some reffing that seemed- even to a Jazz fan- to be out for Timmy's scalp like he were a nazi and the refs were the Basterds. He must've done his trademark Wide Eyed Glare one too many times.

What else was anomalous? (Is that a word? Do I care? Do you get what I'm getting at? OK.)

Duncan denied a milestone. One of the most consistent, come-through players of all time. And he stopped one short of the point milestone.

What I love about Duncan: he didn't care at all about it. He would've been embarrassed by any stoppage of play, any confetti or recognition; even postgame questions would've been an annoyance. He just wanted the W. And that's why he's one of (if not THE) greatest PF in history.

Wow. And to think I'm a Jazz fan.

GAINES!!!

D Will goes down.

LeBron goes off.

Boozer fouls out.

Candance Parker's brother misses.

Korver hits from behind the glass.

Candance Parker's brother misses again.

Z misses one too.

And then:

Korver is covered.

Memo is too.

Ronnie Price (who has a well-documented love for shooting when the clock winds down) too.

Gaines hits the first 3-pointer of his NBA career.

GAINES HITS IT!

Incredible game.

The NBA. Where 10-Day Contracts Happen.

Jazz Beat Heat

or

Utah turns down the Heat

or

Miami wades to road loss

or

Miami wades unsuccessfully through Utah winter

or

Boozer's try out goes well

or

Charlie T's team loses to Spike's team

or

Charlie T looks at flying buttresses while favorite team gets flying buttresses kicked

or

Heat go cold vs Jazz

or

Heat glad to go home to warm Miami

Nettes v Jazz

Some storylines going into tonight's Jazz @ Nettes game:

The Road
The Jazz have to ask themselves: "Will this be more like Willie Nelson's road or Cormac McCarthy's road?" A pretty lousy road team lately, the Jazz will find out which way- Willie or Cormac- this trip's gonna go tonight. Atlanta/Charlotte*/Miami/Orlando. The teams only get tougher after the turnpike.

2 going on 3
The Jazz boosted the Kryptowolves from two to four W's. The Nettes are understandably rooting for a bump (some psychologists would say all women are, deep down, wishing for a bump) from the Jazz. And let's just say the Jazz should take all precautions to keep from making Jersey the babymama of another little L.

Lack of Estrogen
The Jazz are notably lacking in feminine (or even androgynous) names- Ronnie being as close as it gets. Some of the names could be morphed a bit, if that will help motivate the Nettes to get their claws out: Carla Boozer, Andrea Kirilenko, Geri Sloan (dare you to try that to his face)...



* A quick thank you to the Bobcats for adding to the Knicks' L column last night. A fruitcake is in the mail.

Knicks/Jazz/Wolves Grab Bag

Some random thoughts on the intertwined Jazz/Knicks seasons. Any true Jazz fan has a vested interest in the Knicks' stockpiling some L's.

8-15
I expected a little more from the Knicks. Which, as a Jazz fan, is to say: I expected a little less.

3rd place in the Atlantic/Titanic division? Yes, only the Celtics are over .500 and the rest of the division = the tragic Nettes, the glory-day-desperate Sixers, and a team that- let's be honest- will never be Canada's Team (but may very well be on their way to becoming Chris Bosh's First Team). Still, even in such a lousy division, third place is overachieving for what my Jazz Draft Expectations have in mind. With the Bobcats, Beat-a-bulls, and Clippers on the docket, this could be bad.

What can we do to turn this around?

Isiah Thomas should be given a second (third? eighth?) chance. Sign Spike Lee to a 10-day that he can film called Spike Going To Work or, alternately, Some Black Men Can't Jump Either. And why not bring back some former Knick to sell tickets? Ewing? Grandmama? I hear Sprewell is looking for work. And little Nate Robinson should be playing major minutes with an eternal green light (just remember, D'Antoni, how prominently green figured into Nate's dunk contest antics last season).

Speaking of Kryptonite...

The T-Wolves Own The Jazz
Kryptowolves have 4 wins this season, two of them against the Jazz, the most recent last night at EnergySolutions Arena, where the Jazz have formerly boasted a decent home court advantage. So much for building on wins against Orlando and The Kobes. Thank goodness Minny won't be a playoff threat. Now we just have to hope the Jazz are. Sheesh, it only makes me hate Mike Love all the more.

Johnny Flynn Has Wolves Fans Asking "Ricky Whobio?"
For one night, at least. I couldn't resist the headline.

Free Jazz

In tribute to Ornette Coleman (who played on an album of Joe Henry's, whose new record will likely crack my End Of Year Top 10), here's some free Jazz- i.e. random, non-associated thoughts about the Jazz.

I hate to say it, but BOOZER IS A MONSTER. I have long derided his ability to have the least impressive 20pt/10reb games in the history of basketball, sneaking in bunches of points during inconsequential minutes, making little impact on the game. But, after a shaky start to the season and- if we're being honest here- a completely douchey offseason, he's coming through in a big way. Of course, you'd have to be stupid not to see the "Contract Year" and "Trade-ability" in his eyes, not to mention "Shove It, Fanbase" and "Do You Remember What I Did To Cleveland?". But, after so much open hostility on my part and a large part of Jazz fans, it had to be said: BOOZER IS A MONSTER.

MILSAP? The question mark is the operative part. This season, after Portland basically weaseled the Jazz into throwing money at Milsap (and look at the karma you get, Blazers, for your conniving ways), we knew it'd be a tough go. Especially with fewer minutes and the insecurity of knowing that you have to- in some ways- defer to The All Star/Olympian On His Way Out. I'm not saying this is a Steve Young/Joe Montana situation, but you've gotta feel for Milsap. I still love his energy and hustle, undauntedness and athleticism, not to mention fearless ability to get points/boards WHEN IT MATTERS. But, again we're being honest here, he's been pretty quiet this year. Last year, as an understudy thrust onto the main stage, he proved himself. So we stopped paying him understudy money, only to continue giving him understudy minutes. Can't blame the guy for being a little lost.

BEST HOCKEY TEAM IN THE NBA. That wretched 4th quarter in L.A. proved it. 3 great periods. And an historically hideous one. Watching the ORL and (second) LA games, it felt to me- even in W's- that their play became more tenative. Haters blame Sloan, but I don't see that. I see a team tightening up. And, mostly, it feels like D-Will sometimes hits the brakes (fatigue? coaching? nerves?). It sort of feels like the old adage about "not playing to win, rather playing NOT to lose" which is an epic recipe for losing.

WES MATTHEWS. The Jazz aren't the best draft team in the league, but- like all-time leader John Stockton- they've gotten some steals. Wes Matthews is the latest.

EXCUSES, EXCUSES. "Kobe was hurt." "Short-handed." "Blah blah blah." The media has no shortage of AP Stylebook-approved excuses for bigtime teams losing to the Jazz. But a W is a W. Orlando was up 18 and couldn't hold on. The Lakers got a clunker from an injured Kobe. Guess what, league? Coming from a team that's had more than its fair share of injuries over the past few years (Boozer, Williams, Okur, Kirilenko, Korver, CJ Miles and on and on), let me just quote Justin Timberlake (who was borrowing from about 18 gazillion other pop culture aphorisms): WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

B-RUSS. I'm torn. I was never a big Bryon Russell fan in the first place (my brother would have me shot with rocksalt for saying so), but this whole publicity thing has me divided. Part of me likes that he's calling out Jordan (not that Jordan is listening to the little buzzing mosquito). And part of me is really sad at how desperate and smalltime it all sounds. My least favorite Beach Boy Mike Love called out the Stones (among others) during his Rock n Roll Hall of Fame speech. And the Stones didn't so much as bat a bloodshot eye. I'm not sure if Jordan is Mike Love in this situation (the speech part? yes. the talent/legend part? no.), but it seems like it fits somehow. And, by the way, is Mike Love really Kevin Love's uncle? Please say no.

Euro Jazz

Who would've guessed that- with a booming record of 3-10- the Knicks would, at this point in the season, only be the league's THIRD worst team? The soon-to-be-Frankless Nettes are, by all indications, shooting for the January cover of Oprah's O magazine. As in O-for-the-season-so-far. And the Timberwolves? Well, nobody really expected much there, now did we, Mr. Rambis...

The combination of the Knicks' encouraging (for a Jazz fan) unimpressiveness and the breakout year of former Euroleaguer Brandon Jennings turns our hopeful eyes to Europe. Who are the top Euro-league prospects not named Ricky Rubio that the Jazz should consider?

Milenko Tepic? His profile here says he's not very athletic but has a "great attitude on and off the court." Oh great. If that interests you, my wife has a friend with a "really sweet spirit" she'd love to set you up with.

Nikola Pekovic? His profile essentially says he's a power player with almost no inside moves and terrible range. Add to that the fact that he's an undersized center who'd undoubtedly move to power forward in the NBA and suddenly I'm not that excited. Oooooh, but look at the notes:
Notes: A solid prospect, and one to keep an eye on

Come on, Europe. What about a Jennings-esque American who bucked Stern's "Can't Play Straight Outta High School" mandate? Is there one out there? Please?

FLIPping the script

The firing of Hornets' coach (and 2008 Coach Of The Year, but that's ancient history) Byron Scott got us thinking about our CP3 Is The New KG theory.

On the one hand, the firing flips (pun most definitely intended) the script and proves us wrong. Flip Saunders had a nice long tenure (96-05) for the T-Wolves. The coach-go-round, starring McHale and Casey, started after he left. In fact, to KG's credit, it seemed like he never blamed or even insinuated that poor team play was a coach's fault. (Ahem, Deron Williams and your comment that the Jazz barely practice playing or playing against the zone.)

On the other hand, the firing proves us right. The Hornets are clearly acting to keep their franchise player happy. They need to win and win now. As a Jazz fan, I can relate to this sentiment; all Jazz fans have this stomach-sick dread that we're squandering our D-Will years and are just making it easier for him to leave (but Jerry Sloan is going nowhere and I, unlike a huge contingent of Jazz fans, don't think he should be replaced). CP3 is the new KG because his franchise is being bold (OK. Not bold. Bold wouldn't make cost-cutting moves in the offseason. Bold wouldn't hope for the best. But it would seem this is some kind of repentance for their cheapskate offseason, no?) in their efforts to right the ship and keep him happy.

Good luck, Jeff Bower. Also, please give my regards to your wife for a nicely written Wikipedia page.

Sacramento Kings: Apparently Faithful Readers Of The Black Converse

It's a bittersweet moment today at The Black Converse.

Sweet because clearly the Kings are our most faithful readers and have used our unfriendly wager as bulletin board motivational material. And it's working. City of Sacramento, you're welcome. We're happy to spur your boys on.

Bitter because, with a W last night (led by...Jason Thompson? Who? [hitting Wikipedia. No good. Hitting ESPN.com's profile page. He went to Rider? He makes $2 million this year?]), the Kings are now 4-4 and waaaaaaaaay ahead of pace to stick Charlie T and me in the lower bowl of Energy Solutions Arena on January 29. Against our will, but true to our word. I believe I heard Charlie T say these words today: "Well, I've never sat courtside at a Jazz game before." Ugh.


Is this guy to Sacto as Paul Milsap was to Utah the last couple years? The secret you hope nobody (aka: Portland) finds out about?

In other Sacramento news, Kevin Martin (since we know you and your Kings are our readership), you may want to brush up on your understanding of Bill Simmons' The Ewing Theory.

PS: Thanks for reading, Kings. The Princes jokes will stop soon.

Win/Win or Lose/Lose

The Jazz are in NYC to face the Knicks, which means a win is a double win (a road win AND another loss towards the Knicks' lottery campaign) and a loss is a double loss (a road loss to a very beatable team AND another win against the Knicks' lottery campaign).

In a season where:

- the Jazz appear to be a very well-motivated hockey team (3 winning and solid quarters, lots of fouls. Come on. If there were no fourth quarter, this team would be killing it. Ah, but there IS a fourth quarter. And this team is getting killed.)
- the Jazz got a loss to a Kevin Martin-less team of misfit toys (potentially the tipping point to The Black Converse having to attend the January 29 Jazz/Kings game)
- the Jazz beat the Spurs on the FRONT end of a back-to-back
- the Jazz let Dirk believe his hair had Samsonian qualities
- the weak interior defense has led many Jazz fans to (silently) wonder what Greg Ostertag is up to

it's not too hard to see how a W against this particular Knicks team could be a bona fide must-win. Unless you're shooting for TWO lottery picks...

Dear Pat Riley, xo- Carlos Boozer

Dear Pat Riley,

Enclosed you will find a set of multimedia materials:

- a DVD of my highlights from last night's Spurs/Jazz game at EnergySolutions Arena
- VHS and Beta versions of the same footage, because you're old school
- a quote from a reputed ESPN article that has Mehmet Okur saying, ""Everybody was active, especially from the defensive end," in which the term everyone must necessarily include myself and thus is a direct reference to my defensive activity.
- A screenshot of a few trade scenarios that worked on ESPN's Trade Machine.
- A box score that highlights my 27 points and 14 rebounds.
- A signed-in-blood covenant to always defer to Dwyane Wade and yourself.
- 3 complimentary cans of Dapper Dan hair pomade.

Sincerely,

Carlos Boozer

The Pink Seats Aren't Exactly Beckoning. The Purple Ones? Even Less.

At 0-3, the Kings aren't exactly making us sweat our bet.



Meanwhile, the Knicks are right on schedule. They score FIFTEEN more points per game than Sacramento and still have a worse point differential. Wow. The Jazz could use somebody who blocks shots...UNC's Ed Davis might have that. Only 6 ft 10, though and we might already have a corner on the market of undersized bigs.

910 Conversation: Northwest Division

DENVER NUGGETS

Last postseason, I found myself in a position I never thought I’d find myself: rooting for Carmelo Anthony. It surprised me, but it was really my only option once he was one of few remaining obstacles between a) Kobe and a Shaq-less ring, and b) Zenmeister and the breaking of Red Auerbach’s record. I had no choice.

Neither of us at TBC are Melo fans. We’ll be upfront about that. But neither of us are morons either. The kid can ball. He’s an all-star who can exploit almost any matchup either with the jumper, the drive or the inside game. And he has the assassin instinct. No one is saying any different here. Still, something about Melo rubs us the wrong way. And it’s not just because I’m a Jazz fan and I have intra-conference angst. I don’t like the way he carries himself. He tries to be a thug but doesn’t back it up (see: swing at a Knick then retreat). I dunno. Just can’t root for the guy.

But we’re willing to eat crow. (Ask the Kings.) Or, in this season’s case, Caramelos. Let it be written: every time one of us has to say something like “gotta hand it to Carmelo” or “I hate to say it, but that was clutch” or anything like that, we will eat a Caramelo. We’ll keep a running tally of how many Caramelos we have to eat all season as a sign that we’re willing to be wrong and admit it.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

We debated this one for awhile. Is Kevin Love the story? Is there a Ricky Rubio angle that hasn’t been leche-d a la muerte ? We liked the idea of Rambis and a clothesline, but Simmons got there first. It struck us that KG is way ahead of everybody on the T-Wolves all-time lists, to the point of being nearly untouchable. Such a young franchise with turnover like they’ve had doesn’t amass a lot of legacy. But we believe in Al Jefferson and his ability to be a legacy-type player. So, we’re tracking Al Jefferson’s ascent on the T-Wolves All-Time lists- scoring, rebounding, and whatever else he ascends. We’ll check in with who he ‘s passing. That means you, Terrell Brandon and Tom Gugliotta.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

OK, media, we get it. You love Durant. And, no, we won’t sleep on the Thunder. Don’t worry.

Who we’re worried about are those poor, swindled Seattle-ites. Having both spent some time up in the NW this season, we got in touch with the depression and angst and resignation and bitterness that the Thunder left. So we’re going to look at Levels of Depression with parallels between Sonics and Nirvana fans. What’s the equivalent of having to watch Kurt marry Courtney? Hearing the Foo Fighters borrow liberally from Tom Petty? Thinking about Krist Novalesic? Seeing animated Kurt sing Bush songs on Guitar Hero? These are our questions.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

So. Much. Hype.

So. Many. Expectations.

And to make things worse/better, Oden has shown signs of life in the always-reliable measuring stick that is the preseason.

This team is supposed to win. And supposed to win now. But will the hype hold up? We’ll gauge the Blazers’ success (and ability to live up to the never-ending buzz) on a scale that has Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion (a TBC whipping boy and, for the record, a completely overrated collection of “songs”) on the low end and The Hold Steady’s Boys And Girls In America (a TBC classic and, for the record, an album that everybody was freaking out [or backlashing against] about when it came out, only to have the hype actually not live up to the greatness of the record. So good.) on the high end. I don’t know for sure, but that would probably mean a trip to the Conference Finals at least. Ask me in the spring.

So. Much. Bolding. That bolding was disastrous, but it was either that or bold pretty much the entire paragraph.

UTAH JAZZ

Charlie T and I have given ourselves license and long leashes to talk about our favorite teams at will. No criteria. No need for any kind of objectivity whatsoever. And I am a Jazz fan. So prepare for some bias.