Dream Team-Up, Pt.2

(Part 2 of our continuing series of proposed team-ups for a hypothetical, winner takes all, All-Star Weekend 2-on-2 tournament)

Pairing #2

Team Name: The Men of Steel or Supermen
Team Members: Shaquille O'Neal and Dwight Howard



Remember when comic books decided to do alternate universes and multiple comics about- what to the layman or non-nerd or guy with a girlfriend would appear to be- the same character? That's what's been happening with Shaq and Dwight Howard. Both have made claims to the title- one with a tattoo (and, let's face it, actual titles) and the other with a cape and some Slam Dunk Contest Shenanigans.

Teaming up for the 2-on-2 tournament allows these guys to do a few things:

- Fuse their Supermanhood. That sounded bad. Really bad. But the point is that the power of two Supermen is undeniable.
- Be a matchup nightmare. There is almost no one in the league that can, 1-on-1, guard either of these guys. Now try to find TWO guys who can. (And, yes, the committee recognizes that being a matchup nightmare also makes them a matchup liability, but if they can get a lead...) In a halfcourt game especially- where taking it down the court is nullified- these guys check the ball and throw it inside. Who wants to face that?
- Allow Shaq to finally indulge in his dream to be a point guard. We've seen Shaq light up like Fleet Foxes at a beard growers convention whenever he gets a chance to bring the ball up the floor. Big Magic will finally get his shot. Like I said in the previous bullet point, he'll be pg'ing, but not fullcourt.
- Showcase the dominance of Orlando Magic centers, past and present. Sorry, Michael Doleac, Marcin Gortat, and Andrew Declerq. You didn't quite make the cut.
- Have an official Pass The Torch moment. The Most Dominant Center torch isn't going to Yao. And it's not going to Amare. It's going to Howard. This is the surest way to avoid any confusion, any "but Amare is my teammate" loyalties getting in the way. All the greats want to have a definitive moment where they passed the torch, and passed it to the heir they chose. This is it.
- Have an unofficial Pass The Torch moment. Shaq is about as likable as they come- good with the media, unbelievably good natured for a guy who gets mugged every time he touches the ball, likes to play around, fun, etc. Howard is next in line for this, more unofficial, title too. If these guys get a lead, you can count on some kind of Harlem Globetrotters routine breaking out.

Magically 3licious

Pardon the terrible title.

The Orlando Magic set an NBA record for 3-pointers made last night with 23. The record they broke was 21, set by Toronto in 2005. A couple of thoughts:

- JJ Reddick was 4-7. A renowned sharpshooter who has slumped of late, this was his kind of game. I'm guessing there was at least one hypnotist, 2 towels soaked in eau d'Cameron Indoor, three Coach K motivational mp3s, and a couple of "I think there are some NBA scouts in the arena tonight" rumors involved.

- Jameer Nelson was 5-5. I bet Reddick hears about that for awhile. Or he would, if he were actually not in some kind of hypnotic coma.
- The great Marcin Gortat was the only Magic player to attempt a 3-pointer and not make at least one. He too will have an earful for awhile. Dwight Howard can at least say he didn't even try to make one.

- The worst percentage- besides 0%- was PG Anthony Johnson who shot 1-4 (25%), everyone else was: 3-5, 3-5, 1-1, 4-7, 4-6, 1-2, 1-1. They were smoking hot. If I were anyone who'd made a shot, I wouldn't let a practice end without quietly suggesting that Johnson put in a little overtime working on his shot.
- HOW MANY NBA RECORDS ARE SET AGAINST VERITABLE DOORMATS? Sacramento, this record's victim, is sitting on a sorry record of 9-30. I can't imagine Philly was too good when Toronto set the original record of 21 3-pointers (though, Toronto was pretty weak at the time too, as Kobe went for a career-high 81 points a week later against them). If I were John Hollinger or some other skilled statistician/googler, I'd look this up. But you gotta believe that records aren't getting set against great teams, most of the time.