Watching the Magic/Lakers game last night (yes, I watched), it was hard not to accuse an (in his defense) obviously injured, beshirted Vince Carter of mailing in the first three quarters (1-for-7, I believe) and then turning it on (what, 2 three-pointers in the waning moments?) when the game was all but out of reach?
I don't know. I'm conflicted.
All I know is that part of me loved watching the gunning of the Magic (when it was working) and part of me thought that they could never win a championship when their gameplan depends on the strike of lightning.
Part of me also thought Stan Van might miss his little Hedo. Just a little.
Showing posts with label Orlando Magic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Orlando Magic. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, November 9, 2009
More Potential Than You Were Ready To See-atle
Thump.
That was the sound the Magic made when OKC rolled them last night. Fine, there were some injuries- VC (but who's to say he wouldn't be hitting the OKC Post Office anyway? He has played well, but can we really hit reset so soon?) and Rashard Lewis. But what team is at 100% these days?
So, if you're a once-and-always-but-still-sadly-"former" Sonics fan, how does it feel to see the team that you grew up with, that you watched through thick and thin, all of the sudden show a real glimpse of (forgive me) GetItDoneAbility. Where does it fit on our Parallels To Nirvana scale?
It might be a little like:
Watching that first Foo Fighters video- the one that's a Mentos commercial spoof. You know, you're happy that Grohl is making it; of course you are, you knew he had it. It just feels a little...a little sooner than you were ready. And it's lacking the punch that Nirvana had and why is he being so easy-funny instead of ironic-funny like Kurt liked? But- whoa, wait, that's funny. And the song is kinda good. But it's just not the same.
That was the sound the Magic made when OKC rolled them last night. Fine, there were some injuries- VC (but who's to say he wouldn't be hitting the OKC Post Office anyway? He has played well, but can we really hit reset so soon?) and Rashard Lewis. But what team is at 100% these days?
So, if you're a once-and-always-but-still-sadly-"former" Sonics fan, how does it feel to see the team that you grew up with, that you watched through thick and thin, all of the sudden show a real glimpse of (forgive me) GetItDoneAbility. Where does it fit on our Parallels To Nirvana scale?
It might be a little like:
Watching that first Foo Fighters video- the one that's a Mentos commercial spoof. You know, you're happy that Grohl is making it; of course you are, you knew he had it. It just feels a little...a little sooner than you were ready. And it's lacking the punch that Nirvana had and why is he being so easy-funny instead of ironic-funny like Kurt liked? But- whoa, wait, that's funny. And the song is kinda good. But it's just not the same.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Finals, pt 1
You can only assess things after two games in a long series. I've said it before and this is me saying it again.
That said, I was a little concerned after Game 1 with the commentary from the Dream Crew. So I decided to do a running diary of sorts, following the game and the commentary of Breen, Van Gundy and Jackson. I wanted to be sure that the best were bringing their A game to the Finals just as they expect both teams to do.
(Just one quick thing before the Calls of the Game. I don't need to see anymore graphics about Kobe in Game 1. We get it. Kobe scored 40 points. They guy took 34 shots. 34. And about half of those came with his team already up 15 points. The Greatest Front Runner)
Here are the calls.
"A brick from Vujacic in the corner." (Breen)
Things are starting off good in so many ways.
"The Magic need a solid game from Lewis or Turkoglu, not a great one just a good one." (Breen)
Is this telling you how terrible the Magic played in Game 1 or does it say how shallow the Laker team is?
"Orlando needs a guy who can get his own shot." (JVG)
They also need a guy who can take a charge.
"Dwight Howard is a rarity. He does not curse, he does not swear." (Breen)
I think this was meant as a compliment, but I think it is telling of Howard's aggressiveness.
"They [Magic] should have gone inside and shot a layup." (JVG)
Which game does this relate to?
Kobe makes two shots in two possessions and then this follows.
"Here he goes." (Breen)
"Courtney Lee is thinking 'Oh no not again'" (Jackson)
Then Kobe goes on to score 10 very overstated points in the third while Hedo score 14 extremely understated points. They are approaching the Doug Collins Zone of Superstar Favoritism.
"These are the worst fast breaks I have ever seen." (JVG)
Now there's the JVG we love. Calling it like he sees it.
The moment we've all been waiting for....The Phil Interview.
Coach you talked abou tgetting a flow in that last timeout. How do you do that?
You move the ball.
"JJ Reddick ties the game with 2:19 to play!" (Breen)
I think he was more surprised than excited.
"How many guys say 'Dwight Howard, bail me out?'" (Jackson)
The entire Magic team. On the defensive end.
"Hedo plays defense on Bryant one on one and says 'Hedon't'" (Jackson)
The gem of the night.
OVERTIME. I'm just going to watch this now. But I'd say the Dream Crew is doing an above average job. They've got the Finals jitters out....and it seems Orlando does too.
One last note, I love that Stan Van Gundy was holding a cup of Gatorade in his hand as he watched that final play happen.
That said, I was a little concerned after Game 1 with the commentary from the Dream Crew. So I decided to do a running diary of sorts, following the game and the commentary of Breen, Van Gundy and Jackson. I wanted to be sure that the best were bringing their A game to the Finals just as they expect both teams to do.
(Just one quick thing before the Calls of the Game. I don't need to see anymore graphics about Kobe in Game 1. We get it. Kobe scored 40 points. They guy took 34 shots. 34. And about half of those came with his team already up 15 points. The Greatest Front Runner)
Here are the calls.
"A brick from Vujacic in the corner." (Breen)
Things are starting off good in so many ways.
"The Magic need a solid game from Lewis or Turkoglu, not a great one just a good one." (Breen)
Is this telling you how terrible the Magic played in Game 1 or does it say how shallow the Laker team is?
"Orlando needs a guy who can get his own shot." (JVG)
They also need a guy who can take a charge.
"Dwight Howard is a rarity. He does not curse, he does not swear." (Breen)
I think this was meant as a compliment, but I think it is telling of Howard's aggressiveness.
"They [Magic] should have gone inside and shot a layup." (JVG)
Which game does this relate to?
Kobe makes two shots in two possessions and then this follows.
"Here he goes." (Breen)
"Courtney Lee is thinking 'Oh no not again'" (Jackson)
Then Kobe goes on to score 10 very overstated points in the third while Hedo score 14 extremely understated points. They are approaching the Doug Collins Zone of Superstar Favoritism.
"These are the worst fast breaks I have ever seen." (JVG)
Now there's the JVG we love. Calling it like he sees it.
The moment we've all been waiting for....The Phil Interview.
Coach you talked abou tgetting a flow in that last timeout. How do you do that?
You move the ball.
"JJ Reddick ties the game with 2:19 to play!" (Breen)
I think he was more surprised than excited.
"How many guys say 'Dwight Howard, bail me out?'" (Jackson)
The entire Magic team. On the defensive end.
"Hedo plays defense on Bryant one on one and says 'Hedon't'" (Jackson)
The gem of the night.
OVERTIME. I'm just going to watch this now. But I'd say the Dream Crew is doing an above average job. They've got the Finals jitters out....and it seems Orlando does too.
One last note, I love that Stan Van Gundy was holding a cup of Gatorade in his hand as he watched that final play happen.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Playoff Musings, Conference Finals
THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE THE PLAYOFFS
Yes, you probably already knew all this. But it's news to me.
THERE IS ACTUALLY A SCENARIO IN WHICH I'LL ROOT FOR CARMELO ANTHONY. WHO KNEW?
The one and only scenario, not involving the Olympics or terrorists and potential harm to my loved ones, is when Carmelo is playing against Kobe. With the exception of TeeMak, who doesn't make the cut simply because we only count players who have played in the second round, these are probably my two least favorite players in the NBA. Maybe ever. But let me go the record here: GO 'MELO. KICK THE CRAP OUT OF THAT SCOWLING, PREENING MAMBA. Happy?
ORLANDO IS ALMOST AS LEGIT AS BARKLEY SAYS AND- IN THE WORDS OF THEIR OWN COACH- CERTAINLY TOO LEGIT TO QUIT.
I doubted the Magic. I like Howard, but he's a FT liability in the crunch. I like Lewis, but his smooth shot (and it is smooooooth) is more than a little overpaid (not sure anybody in Orlando feels that way after last night). They lost their all-star caliber PG. The bench seemed shallow. Stan Van seems a little uneven to me. So I wasn't really onboard.
They may only win Game 1, but I have to say that that's a real team. They kept digging in, especially Turkoglu who looked like a sloppier, white Magic Johnson last night, right down to the big smile after timeouts. You'll see the Cavs do some stomping in Game 2, but it won't be because the Magic aren't legit. The Cavs just might, when they're angry, be legitter.
KENNY SMITH MIGHT NOT BE THE SMOOTH OPERATOR PERSONALITY THAT HE SEEMS TO BE CULTIVATING
Did anyone else see in the postgame when he got visually bugged because he didn't get his printouts in time? Chill, baby. You're flanked by talkers galore. Your job is secure. Don't blow all the Mellow Dude Equity you've built up. It was like seeing Jack Johnson put on combat boots, a leather duster, and start spitting bullets all across the North Shore.
Yes, you probably already knew all this. But it's news to me.
THERE IS ACTUALLY A SCENARIO IN WHICH I'LL ROOT FOR CARMELO ANTHONY. WHO KNEW?
The one and only scenario, not involving the Olympics or terrorists and potential harm to my loved ones, is when Carmelo is playing against Kobe. With the exception of TeeMak, who doesn't make the cut simply because we only count players who have played in the second round, these are probably my two least favorite players in the NBA. Maybe ever. But let me go the record here: GO 'MELO. KICK THE CRAP OUT OF THAT SCOWLING, PREENING MAMBA. Happy?
ORLANDO IS ALMOST AS LEGIT AS BARKLEY SAYS AND- IN THE WORDS OF THEIR OWN COACH- CERTAINLY TOO LEGIT TO QUIT.
I doubted the Magic. I like Howard, but he's a FT liability in the crunch. I like Lewis, but his smooth shot (and it is smooooooth) is more than a little overpaid (not sure anybody in Orlando feels that way after last night). They lost their all-star caliber PG. The bench seemed shallow. Stan Van seems a little uneven to me. So I wasn't really onboard.
They may only win Game 1, but I have to say that that's a real team. They kept digging in, especially Turkoglu who looked like a sloppier, white Magic Johnson last night, right down to the big smile after timeouts. You'll see the Cavs do some stomping in Game 2, but it won't be because the Magic aren't legit. The Cavs just might, when they're angry, be legitter.
KENNY SMITH MIGHT NOT BE THE SMOOTH OPERATOR PERSONALITY THAT HE SEEMS TO BE CULTIVATING
Did anyone else see in the postgame when he got visually bugged because he didn't get his printouts in time? Chill, baby. You're flanked by talkers galore. Your job is secure. Don't blow all the Mellow Dude Equity you've built up. It was like seeing Jack Johnson put on combat boots, a leather duster, and start spitting bullets all across the North Shore.
Playoff Musings, Conference Finals
So I went against my creed after the Lakers/Nuggets game of not commenting on a series until 2 games have been played. It was a bit knee jerk and frankly might be completely invalid after Game 2. But to keep things fair for both the East and the West, I will provide a bit of reaction from Game 1 of LeBrons/Magic.
- Mo makes that shot we are talking sweep, we never see the end of the replay and we have the first straight to "Where Amazing Happens" play ever.
- Did you have any question in your mind that LeBron would successfully tip the ball right to Williams? Neither did I.
- Can LeBron guard Rashard AND Hedo at the same time on every posession? He is going to have to because Sideshow Bob is too immobile and Delonte is to small and Wally is to worried about whether or not he got the right amount of gel in his hair.
- Can SVG ever be interviewed by a sideline reporter and not sound like he is so disappointed in his team he might not come back after half time?
- Back to the Mo shot. Him missing it and ruining the the hype on the Cavs is the equivalent of the last 30 minutes of Wolverine where the entire movie was ruined by the Island of Misfit Mutants and the ensuing nuclear power plant Battle Royale. It totally went from salvageable and might make a good FX run in a few years to the biggest joke of the summer. But it might be the best thing for the franchise making them be a little more critical about the stuff they decide to put out there and maybe, just maybe, we will get a good X-Men movie again. Likewise for the Cavs, this was probably the same kind of "Lets get serious about this" wake-up call.
- Mo makes that shot we are talking sweep, we never see the end of the replay and we have the first straight to "Where Amazing Happens" play ever.
- Did you have any question in your mind that LeBron would successfully tip the ball right to Williams? Neither did I.
- Can LeBron guard Rashard AND Hedo at the same time on every posession? He is going to have to because Sideshow Bob is too immobile and Delonte is to small and Wally is to worried about whether or not he got the right amount of gel in his hair.
- Can SVG ever be interviewed by a sideline reporter and not sound like he is so disappointed in his team he might not come back after half time?
- Back to the Mo shot. Him missing it and ruining the the hype on the Cavs is the equivalent of the last 30 minutes of Wolverine where the entire movie was ruined by the Island of Misfit Mutants and the ensuing nuclear power plant Battle Royale. It totally went from salvageable and might make a good FX run in a few years to the biggest joke of the summer. But it might be the best thing for the franchise making them be a little more critical about the stuff they decide to put out there and maybe, just maybe, we will get a good X-Men movie again. Likewise for the Cavs, this was probably the same kind of "Lets get serious about this" wake-up call.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Playoff Musings...Round 2
Only two series have made it to the critical 2nd game, hence we only have two series to muse about today. Some loose ends also need tied up from the first round. Relevant matters first.
Like any team who is playing against the Lakers, they are quickly become my new playoff darling. Their MVP has to be TEEmak's doctor who suggested he needed microfracture (or the guy he hired to pretend to be a doctor) or it has to be the guy the Rockets hired to keep him away from the team. I can only imagine the tactics he might be using. Ex-Lax in his milkshake, intentionally locking TMAQ's keys in his car, setting all his clocks a couple hours ahead, looping black and white footage of his 13 points in 35 seconds while that piano music plays (you know the "Where Amazing Happens" one) I can't wait for the Outside The Lines on this guy.
With the series shifting back to Houston, and real fans coming into play in the series (there was a Lakers fan wearing a purple and yellow Yankees hat at the game...I love that type of fan), I am going to list my 5 most wanted cheers rocking the Toyota Center.
5. "EAT THE HEAD, EAT THE HEAD" This happens anytime Yao checks in or out of the game. (For those who don't get it, here)
4. "RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap, RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap"
3. "SECOND ROUND" (with the same clapping)
2. "BREAK HIS NECK" (again the clapping) This is done anytime Artest's man gets the ball.
1. I can't actually write this one here (for our younger readers) but it has to do with Vujacic and female anatomy.
Which was more poorly executed from a script, Odom walking to the game tonight to "get back to his roots when he was a kid waling around New York looking for a pick up game" or Kobe's wife meeting him in the tunnel after the game with a kiss?
Question for Lamar: Was Craig Sager and the camera crew an important part of making the whole flashback thing more authentic?
Note for Kobe: You only get to shake your head and say "You can't guard me" to Battier AFTER you have made 3 or more shots in a row. Its a rule that dates back to NBA JAM.
Barkley said it best, "Orlando was happy with getting a split." And thats exactly how championship contender think...right?
We have added a new degree of slapping. It is somewhere between the bitch-slap and the how-dare-you slap...its the Rafer.
Used in a sentence, "I made Joey look like a total loser last night while he was tried to get that waitress' number at Chili's. So on the way to the car I got Rafered."
Big Baby is your starting power forward, Jackie Moon is playing significant minutes and your team MVP, Pierce, played all of 16 minutes, 6 of which were during garbage time, and you still won by almost 20. Who else is happy to not be seeing the Bulls for 7 more games?
Dare I say Perk > Dwight? If we are talking bang for your buck, yes. If we are talking over-hyped, poorly staged dunk contests...push.
The Houston Rockets
Like any team who is playing against the Lakers, they are quickly become my new playoff darling. Their MVP has to be TEEmak's doctor who suggested he needed microfracture (or the guy he hired to pretend to be a doctor) or it has to be the guy the Rockets hired to keep him away from the team. I can only imagine the tactics he might be using. Ex-Lax in his milkshake, intentionally locking TMAQ's keys in his car, setting all his clocks a couple hours ahead, looping black and white footage of his 13 points in 35 seconds while that piano music plays (you know the "Where Amazing Happens" one) I can't wait for the Outside The Lines on this guy.
With the series shifting back to Houston, and real fans coming into play in the series (there was a Lakers fan wearing a purple and yellow Yankees hat at the game...I love that type of fan), I am going to list my 5 most wanted cheers rocking the Toyota Center.
5. "EAT THE HEAD, EAT THE HEAD" This happens anytime Yao checks in or out of the game. (For those who don't get it, here)
4. "RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap, RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap"
3. "SECOND ROUND" (with the same clapping)
2. "BREAK HIS NECK" (again the clapping) This is done anytime Artest's man gets the ball.
1. I can't actually write this one here (for our younger readers) but it has to do with Vujacic and female anatomy.
LA Lakers
Which was more poorly executed from a script, Odom walking to the game tonight to "get back to his roots when he was a kid waling around New York looking for a pick up game" or Kobe's wife meeting him in the tunnel after the game with a kiss?
Question for Lamar: Was Craig Sager and the camera crew an important part of making the whole flashback thing more authentic?
Note for Kobe: You only get to shake your head and say "You can't guard me" to Battier AFTER you have made 3 or more shots in a row. Its a rule that dates back to NBA JAM.
Orlando Magic
Barkley said it best, "Orlando was happy with getting a split." And thats exactly how championship contender think...right?
We have added a new degree of slapping. It is somewhere between the bitch-slap and the how-dare-you slap...its the Rafer.
Used in a sentence, "I made Joey look like a total loser last night while he was tried to get that waitress' number at Chili's. So on the way to the car I got Rafered."
Boston Celtics
Big Baby is your starting power forward, Jackie Moon is playing significant minutes and your team MVP, Pierce, played all of 16 minutes, 6 of which were during garbage time, and you still won by almost 20. Who else is happy to not be seeing the Bulls for 7 more games?
Dare I say Perk > Dwight? If we are talking bang for your buck, yes. If we are talking over-hyped, poorly staged dunk contests...push.
Friday, March 20, 2009
If the playoffs started today...Vol. III
Yes its getting to be that time of the year. The time when nobody pays attention to the NBA for a couple weekends and things start to change. So in order to help you not feel left out when you pick back up with the Association, here are some of the current match-ups if the playoffs started today.
Orlando Magic vs. we are so scared to draw Detroit in the first round that we might have to tank a few games to stay at the 3 seed but will probably get beaten by Philly anyway
Its no secret that the Magic have laid a big ol' goose egg against Detroit this year. Considering the teams fragile psyche and relative inexperience, Detroit is the last team they want to match up with. So while Sacramento, Washington and Memphis are intentionally losing games for a chance at Blake "I got body slammed" Griffen, look for Orlando to be dropping some to stay at the third seed only to have Detroit jump up to the 6th spot in the last week.
Cleveland LeBron's vs. Me being able to be critical of Mr. James
Its also no secret that there is a lack of butt kissing for LeBron here at the Black Converse as opposed to the rest of the televisioned world. But I am finding it harder and harder to find the holes in anything he does lately. In March, thus far, he is averaging 30 pts. 9 assists 9 rebounds nearly 2 steals and shooting 48%. Plus his team has only lost to Boston this month. So keep playing hard in the regular season boys. I'm sure you'll give me plenty of chances in the playoffs to be critical.
San Antonio vs. the switch
While the Spurs are rotating everyone in and out of the injured list to rest up their weary bones, it is getting closer and closer to the time when they need to flip the switch. Good thing it doesn't look like they will lose the 2nd seed.
D-League Playoff Format vs. BCS vs. Eastern Conference
No doubt will we here Shaq make some comment about his team having a better record than 2 or 3 Eastern Conference teams who make the playoffs. Then we will get some reseeding suggestions. Then one of those lower seeds in the East (Detroit/Philly) will knock off one of those higher seeds (Orlando) and Stern will be smiling bigger than the commissioner of the Big East.
Amongst all this, nobody will mention the new D-League format where the top 8 teams make it and starting with the team with the best record, they pick their opponents. Talk about giving the underdog motivation. Imagine Orlando (the easiest to pick on today) having to choose between Atlanta, Miami, Philadelphia and Detroit for their first round match-up. I bet at that point Van Gundy would rather "spend more time with his family" and Howard would rather be playing PlayStation with Sir Charles.
Monday, February 23, 2009
FITTY POINTS
Charlie T.'s buddy (though, interesting, he's not in his Fave 5) Dwyane Wade put up 50 points last night in a loss to that other team from the Redneck Riviera (thank you, Vic Chesnutt).
The interesting thing isn't so much the exclusive club he joined– Players Who Dropped 50+ Points In A Game That Their Team Lost By 20+ Points (including members Dana Barros, George Gervin, and four-timer Wilt Chamberlain)– as it is the list of players who AREN'T on that list. Jordan, even in the lean Chicago years, put up 50 a bunch. But never in a lopsided loss. Even Allen Iverson, a scoring machine on several struggling teams, never did it. Vinsanity isn't. Dominique isn't.
The interesting thing isn't so much the exclusive club he joined– Players Who Dropped 50+ Points In A Game That Their Team Lost By 20+ Points (including members Dana Barros, George Gervin, and four-timer Wilt Chamberlain)– as it is the list of players who AREN'T on that list. Jordan, even in the lean Chicago years, put up 50 a bunch. But never in a lopsided loss. Even Allen Iverson, a scoring machine on several struggling teams, never did it. Vinsanity isn't. Dominique isn't.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Congratulations Dwight
Lets all give Dwight Howard a big pat on the back and start the coronation of the new king of the NBA.
All of this because he beat Kendrick Perkins, Samuel Dalembert and Andrew Bogut in a popularity contest. Did anyone really think this vote would be close at all? There hasn't been a landslide like this since since FDR beat Alf Landon in the electoral vote or since choosy moms had to chose a peanut butter.
The only thing more ridiculous than any sort of analysis of the All-Star voting is this.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Dream Team-Up, Pt.2
(Part 2 of our continuing series of proposed team-ups for a hypothetical, winner takes all, All-Star Weekend 2-on-2 tournament)
Team Members: Shaquille O'Neal and Dwight Howard
Remember when comic books decided to do alternate universes and multiple comics about- what to the layman or non-nerd or guy with a girlfriend would appear to be- the same character? That's what's been happening with Shaq and Dwight Howard. Both have made claims to the title- one with a tattoo (and, let's face it, actual titles) and the other with a cape and some Slam Dunk Contest Shenanigans.
Teaming up for the 2-on-2 tournament allows these guys to do a few things:
- Fuse their Supermanhood. That sounded bad. Really bad. But the point is that the power of two Supermen is undeniable.
- Be a matchup nightmare. There is almost no one in the league that can, 1-on-1, guard either of these guys. Now try to find TWO guys who can. (And, yes, the committee recognizes that being a matchup nightmare also makes them a matchup liability, but if they can get a lead...) In a halfcourt game especially- where taking it down the court is nullified- these guys check the ball and throw it inside. Who wants to face that?
- Allow Shaq to finally indulge in his dream to be a point guard. We've seen Shaq light up like Fleet Foxes at a beard growers convention whenever he gets a chance to bring the ball up the floor. Big Magic will finally get his shot. Like I said in the previous bullet point, he'll be pg'ing, but not fullcourt.
- Showcase the dominance of Orlando Magic centers, past and present. Sorry, Michael Doleac, Marcin Gortat, and Andrew Declerq. You didn't quite make the cut.
- Have an official Pass The Torch moment. The Most Dominant Center torch isn't going to Yao. And it's not going to Amare. It's going to Howard. This is the surest way to avoid any confusion, any "but Amare is my teammate" loyalties getting in the way. All the greats want to have a definitive moment where they passed the torch, and passed it to the heir they chose. This is it.
- Have an unofficial Pass The Torch moment. Shaq is about as likable as they come- good with the media, unbelievably good natured for a guy who gets mugged every time he touches the ball, likes to play around, fun, etc. Howard is next in line for this, more unofficial, title too. If these guys get a lead, you can count on some kind of Harlem Globetrotters routine breaking out.
Pairing #2
Team Name: The Men of Steel or SupermenTeam Members: Shaquille O'Neal and Dwight Howard
Remember when comic books decided to do alternate universes and multiple comics about- what to the layman or non-nerd or guy with a girlfriend would appear to be- the same character? That's what's been happening with Shaq and Dwight Howard. Both have made claims to the title- one with a tattoo (and, let's face it, actual titles) and the other with a cape and some Slam Dunk Contest Shenanigans.
Teaming up for the 2-on-2 tournament allows these guys to do a few things:
- Fuse their Supermanhood. That sounded bad. Really bad. But the point is that the power of two Supermen is undeniable.
- Be a matchup nightmare. There is almost no one in the league that can, 1-on-1, guard either of these guys. Now try to find TWO guys who can. (And, yes, the committee recognizes that being a matchup nightmare also makes them a matchup liability, but if they can get a lead...) In a halfcourt game especially- where taking it down the court is nullified- these guys check the ball and throw it inside. Who wants to face that?
- Allow Shaq to finally indulge in his dream to be a point guard. We've seen Shaq light up like Fleet Foxes at a beard growers convention whenever he gets a chance to bring the ball up the floor. Big Magic will finally get his shot. Like I said in the previous bullet point, he'll be pg'ing, but not fullcourt.
- Showcase the dominance of Orlando Magic centers, past and present. Sorry, Michael Doleac, Marcin Gortat, and Andrew Declerq. You didn't quite make the cut.
- Have an official Pass The Torch moment. The Most Dominant Center torch isn't going to Yao. And it's not going to Amare. It's going to Howard. This is the surest way to avoid any confusion, any "but Amare is my teammate" loyalties getting in the way. All the greats want to have a definitive moment where they passed the torch, and passed it to the heir they chose. This is it.
- Have an unofficial Pass The Torch moment. Shaq is about as likable as they come- good with the media, unbelievably good natured for a guy who gets mugged every time he touches the ball, likes to play around, fun, etc. Howard is next in line for this, more unofficial, title too. If these guys get a lead, you can count on some kind of Harlem Globetrotters routine breaking out.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Magically 3licious
Pardon the terrible title.
The Orlando Magic set an NBA record for 3-pointers made last night with 23. The record they broke was 21, set by Toronto in 2005. A couple of thoughts:
- JJ Reddick was 4-7. A renowned sharpshooter who has slumped of late, this was his kind of game. I'm guessing there was at least one hypnotist, 2 towels soaked in eau d'Cameron Indoor, three Coach K motivational mp3s, and a couple of "I think there are some NBA scouts in the arena tonight" rumors involved.
- Jameer Nelson was 5-5. I bet Reddick hears about that for awhile. Or he would, if he were actually not in some kind of hypnotic coma.
- The great Marcin Gortat was the only Magic player to attempt a 3-pointer and not make at least one. He too will have an earful for awhile. Dwight Howard can at least say he didn't even try to make one.
- The worst percentage- besides 0%- was PG Anthony Johnson who shot 1-4 (25%), everyone else was: 3-5, 3-5, 1-1, 4-7, 4-6, 1-2, 1-1. They were smoking hot. If I were anyone who'd made a shot, I wouldn't let a practice end without quietly suggesting that Johnson put in a little overtime working on his shot.
- HOW MANY NBA RECORDS ARE SET AGAINST VERITABLE DOORMATS? Sacramento, this record's victim, is sitting on a sorry record of 9-30. I can't imagine Philly was too good when Toronto set the original record of 21 3-pointers (though, Toronto was pretty weak at the time too, as Kobe went for a career-high 81 points a week later against them). If I were John Hollinger or some other skilled statistician/googler, I'd look this up. But you gotta believe that records aren't getting set against great teams, most of the time.
The Orlando Magic set an NBA record for 3-pointers made last night with 23. The record they broke was 21, set by Toronto in 2005. A couple of thoughts:
- JJ Reddick was 4-7. A renowned sharpshooter who has slumped of late, this was his kind of game. I'm guessing there was at least one hypnotist, 2 towels soaked in eau d'Cameron Indoor, three Coach K motivational mp3s, and a couple of "I think there are some NBA scouts in the arena tonight" rumors involved.
- Jameer Nelson was 5-5. I bet Reddick hears about that for awhile. Or he would, if he were actually not in some kind of hypnotic coma.
- The great Marcin Gortat was the only Magic player to attempt a 3-pointer and not make at least one. He too will have an earful for awhile. Dwight Howard can at least say he didn't even try to make one.
- The worst percentage- besides 0%- was PG Anthony Johnson who shot 1-4 (25%), everyone else was: 3-5, 3-5, 1-1, 4-7, 4-6, 1-2, 1-1. They were smoking hot. If I were anyone who'd made a shot, I wouldn't let a practice end without quietly suggesting that Johnson put in a little overtime working on his shot.
- HOW MANY NBA RECORDS ARE SET AGAINST VERITABLE DOORMATS? Sacramento, this record's victim, is sitting on a sorry record of 9-30. I can't imagine Philly was too good when Toronto set the original record of 21 3-pointers (though, Toronto was pretty weak at the time too, as Kobe went for a career-high 81 points a week later against them). If I were John Hollinger or some other skilled statistician/googler, I'd look this up. But you gotta believe that records aren't getting set against great teams, most of the time.
Monday, June 23, 2008
THE DAVID BRACKET: A
1 Boston vs. 16 Portland
Remember Danny Ainge’s face the night of the draft lottery? Remember Kevin Prtichard’s? Maybe we can do a split screen of their faces then and their faces after the series.
Thank a Boston sweep for saving us from the 8-part, halftime “special conversation” with Bill Walton. Yeah we remember that you won championships on both the 77 Blazers and 85 Celtics, but how does playing for Coach Wooden fit into this series? One more second of the 7 foot leprechaun being hoisted up on the shoulders of a sea of Portland fans or the goofy grin after the 1985 Championship and I would be having bad acid trips the rest of my life. On another split screen note could we get a split screen NBA commercial of Portland Bill and Boston Bill singing “Cassidy”?
8 Utah vs. 9 Orlando
Boozer vs. Howard for the Charmin Softie Big Man of the year and one lucky winner will get the chance to go to Camp KG!
Taking a cue from Giuliani’s campaign, Orlando forfeits games 1 and 2 in Utah because they have a plan, they are banking it all on Florida because Utah never loses at home right? Boozer’s hot potato post moves nearly cost Utah a win in game 3 until Deron Williams stops passing him the ball and starts playing. Orlando picks up a win in game 4 behind 49 points from Hedo Turkoglu despite Howard and Boozer playing patty cake in front of the scorer’s table for most of the second half. Sticking with the plan, Orlando never makes the trip back to Salt Lake City claiming they were never really in the playoffs.
The Magic lose the series but the real loser in Orlando was the Happiest Place on Earth title (thanks to Prozac and Diet Coke is about to be supplanted by Anytown, USA), which failed to make Kirilenko happy. “I only get one chance a year for this,” he said as he boarded the flight back to Utah. I guess Daisy Duck hasn’t aged well.
Remember Danny Ainge’s face the night of the draft lottery? Remember Kevin Prtichard’s? Maybe we can do a split screen of their faces then and their faces after the series.
Thank a Boston sweep for saving us from the 8-part, halftime “special conversation” with Bill Walton. Yeah we remember that you won championships on both the 77 Blazers and 85 Celtics, but how does playing for Coach Wooden fit into this series? One more second of the 7 foot leprechaun being hoisted up on the shoulders of a sea of Portland fans or the goofy grin after the 1985 Championship and I would be having bad acid trips the rest of my life. On another split screen note could we get a split screen NBA commercial of Portland Bill and Boston Bill singing “Cassidy”?
8 Utah vs. 9 Orlando
Boozer vs. Howard for the Charmin Softie Big Man of the year and one lucky winner will get the chance to go to Camp KG!
Taking a cue from Giuliani’s campaign, Orlando forfeits games 1 and 2 in Utah because they have a plan, they are banking it all on Florida because Utah never loses at home right? Boozer’s hot potato post moves nearly cost Utah a win in game 3 until Deron Williams stops passing him the ball and starts playing. Orlando picks up a win in game 4 behind 49 points from Hedo Turkoglu despite Howard and Boozer playing patty cake in front of the scorer’s table for most of the second half. Sticking with the plan, Orlando never makes the trip back to Salt Lake City claiming they were never really in the playoffs.
The Magic lose the series but the real loser in Orlando was the Happiest Place on Earth title (thanks to Prozac and Diet Coke is about to be supplanted by Anytown, USA), which failed to make Kirilenko happy. “I only get one chance a year for this,” he said as he boarded the flight back to Utah. I guess Daisy Duck hasn’t aged well.
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