Gladwell, Edvard Munch and Empty Museums

After consuming any Malcolm Gladwell article, book, quote, thought and interview, I find myself convinced that his argument is simply the way it is. I find his writing is compelling and convincing. So much so that if he were writing about why its good to drink 3 quarts of motor oil daily, I would have a tall glass of Castrol in my hands before I even finished reading. I also need about 2 hours after reading to follow every thought and idea that comes to me. Yesterday's article about NBA Franchises, their owners and Van Gogh paintings was no exception. In the interest of validating the mental energy used yesterday, I give to you my post-Gladwell thoughts.

All of the NBA's majority owners, with the exception of Michael Jordan, earned their money doing something entirely unrelated to basketball. This means that they are experts in whatever they did (most commonly running business that grew to have enormous value) before becoming owners. Thus, they own their teams like they've owned anything else in the past. With the exception of Michael Jordan. Jordan tends to be the owner who "can't get it right". This would require further analysis, but chances are he isn't doing it wrong, he's just owning from a completely unique perspective. I personally hope he continues to do it his way and mops the floor with all the accountants and micro-finance geeks, once the Heat have banked about 5 titles of course.

Tying this thought back into the comparison of NBA franchises to fine art, I would imagine that 95% of fine art collectors are not artists and that wealthy artists own art differently than non artists own art. I bet Damien Hirst, Jeff Koons, Anish Kapoor and Jasper Johns have an entirely different philosophy about buying art than Warren Buffet, Paul Allen, Howard Schultz or Bill Gates do. Its probably not even a stretch to think that the artists actually decide the art they buy while the wealthy simply hire someone to buy art for them. Apply that thought back to the NBA and I think it starts to illuminate more nuances with the state of the league and the lockout.

Extending the metaphor to NBA teams being museums, collections of art, lead me to a new set of thoughts about the lockout. Imagine Prokorov owns The Scream by Munch, a Monet, 3 or 4 other expressionists, and a handful of paintings by painters you've never heard of. People obviously come to his museum because he has The Scream. Everyone wants to see that painting. Its not quite worth it for everyone to pay 90 bucks to come see that painting, but since he has a Monet and a couple other expressionist paintings hanging nearby, its worth the cost of admission. Bottom line is, you want a signature piece of art but you also can't have just one piece of art hanging in your museum. The collection has to be rounded out.

Most museums loan art to other museums for special exhibits, events, the heck of it. I believe there is usually a fee for acquiring some piece of art from another museum. This is how they make money. they invest in art hoping that people want to come see it at their museum and also that some other museum might want to borrow it at some point. The right investment can pay for itself 10 times over the course of a couple decades. Now back to Prokorov's collection. Which paintings is Prokorov most likely to be willing to loan out? He could probably make a killing of loaning The Scream, but then his museum is empty. So he's probably going to try and pawn off some of the expressionists that nobody will miss or his other filler pieces. On the rare exception that somebody offers him a kings ransom, he will loan out The Scream and hope that his patrons buy their tickets before finding out his signature piece is gone.

Back to real life Prokorov. His signature player, Deron Williams, is taking his talents to Turkey this fall (unless there is a miracle). Only real life Prokorov isn't getting a loaning fee. And if Williams gets hurt or doesn't come back, Prokorov is out about 16 million in cost, but there is no telling how much he might lose from people buying tickets to come see Williams. If museum owner Prokorov lost The Scream (last valued at about 82 million dollars) he would be out a whole lot more up front, but now has just as big of a hole to fill as real life Prokorov without Williams. Bottom line is that both Prokorovs stand to benefit from having signature pieces in their collection.

And that leaves us, as fans, in a good place as long as we can see our favorite works of art hanging somewhere. Sure we'd prefer that they were hanging in Brooklyn, Miami, Milwaukee or Salt Lake City, but if we have to tap into some Turkish TV channel to see them then that's okay. The real tragedy is when the art isn't hanging anywhere at all.

What A Short Strange Trip It's Been

PRELIMINARY NOTE:

This is not an edited post. It's not even thought out, at all. I will be vomiting thoughts, thoughts that I may deny before posting, thoughts that I may only half believe. But I've digested for long enough that I thought it might be nice– even just for my own mental health– to purge.

A lot has changed in the relatively short time since my last post about The Utah Jazz.

Back then, we had Hall of Famer Jerry Sloan and All-Star Deron Williams. Now we have Ty Corbin, Devin Harris, rookie Derrick Favors, and some off-year first round draft picks. Even after that notorious Bulls game, I was sticking with D-Will. I was loyal. Hearing later, from a very inside source (like, IN the locker room inside source), that Sloan leaving was "100% Williams" couldn't completely sour me on the guy. Even now, watching him dig in with the Nets (and improve his hair situation!) makes me pretty sad. But I guess he had to go. He wasn't staying.

Now what?

Injuries. Mehmet Okur played, what, a fittingly lucky 13 games for the Jazz this year and was finally relegated to Out For The Season status last week. Memo is no MVP, but he changes the lane and the opposing defense quite a bit. And this might seem way out in left field for those of you who think he's a slow white bomber, but I think he's an underrated, gutsy defender. There, I said it. He's no Bill Russell, but he's no matador either (ahem, Boozer...Amare...). And Memo is just one of many recurring, cursed injuries. Every team has them, but this year has seemed especially injurious to me.

Corbin. Give the guy some time. I don't love what's happening, but I don't know that it's his fault. I know there were some players who said that Corbin had plays that Sloan wasn't incorporating into the game plan, but it's hard for me to think that Sloan wouldn't have won more games with this lineup. That's the curse of following up a hard-working, blue collar, tenacious legend, Ty. Get used to it. Jazz fans will give you time and support, but the Statues are always there.

Sloan. There is absolutely nothing I can say about Jerry Sloan here. He coached the team for most of my life, ever since I cared about basketball. When kids were calling for his head and wanting "new basketball" to start in Utah, I defended him and called them idiots (still do). The guy deserved better. He is one of four people in the history of the Jazz that stand above the rest– two of the others are legendary players and the fourth is an owner who kept the Jazz in Utah. I'm rambling a lot for a guy who has nothing to say, but still, there's nothing I can say about Sloan that his history of old school grit and toughness and heart don't already show you.

The New Jazz. This is a new era, no doubt about it. We are rebuilding. The Nuggets left their trade with new life and playoff hopes. We left ours with a ton of question marks. But, while the trade made me mad (i have since come to peace with it) and I'll never really think that Sloan left like he should've and the initial games were hard to watch just from an emotional standpoint, I am still a Jazz fan. I love watching this team, even with the hard losses. I enjoy this team much like the early AK-47 years– getting to see rooks like Hayward, Favors, and even Jeremy Evans start to get the pro game, getting to see a PG like Harris start to find footing with this team and this crowd, still loving the heart that guys like Milsap show, the mutant martian that AK is, and the beast (and leader) that Al Jefferson has become. These storylines, yes, have to temporarily take the place of winning. Winning just isn't happening right now. But what is sportsfandom if you're only EVER winning? Then you're a Lakers fan. And we all know how douchey and bandwagony that is. Though, you do save a lot of time only having to watch 2 quarters of basketball per game.

I Can't Quit You

Spike has been trying to be angry at Deron Williams. His moratorium on all things NBA (including this blog) has been impressive and consistent, but it turns out that its all a rouse. He was outed Monday night in the highlights of the Nets/Celtics game celebrating a big 3-pointer by D-Will in the 4th quarter. (He's the one in the red and white striped polo)

A Tale of Two Trades

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. It was the end of a life-long saga, it was the end of a week-long surprise. We had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going to heaven, we were all going directly the other way. In short, it was Carmelo and Deron, it was Axl and Thom.

It’s the best of times in Manhattan. It’s the best of times in the house of Melo and LaLa. Oddly enough, it’s also the best of times in Denver. Denver can move on. They have played a tiresome role throughout this saga. I would like to liken them unto the studio engineer who got stuck working on “Chinese Democracy” with Axl Rose. A thankless job in more ways than one. But that’s not where the similarities end between Carmelo to the Knicks and “Chinese Democracy”. Just like Axl’s final opus, we knew it was coming for so long that, when it finally happened, we didn’t even care. Collectively, as sports fans, we were more relieved that it was over. You can see this relief on the faces of Nuggets fans as well as the players. I don’t think the fans will remember this trade beyond the end of the season, much in the same way we don’t remember that “Chinese Democracy” finally came out.

Across the river, something different was happening. New Jersey somehow landed a guy who was candidate numero uno for the NBA’s version of a franchise tag. This was about as unexpected as Radiohead dropping a new album just days after announcing it (and then releasing it a day earlier than that). The world seemed to stop and jaws dropped when Williams got traded. Likewise when ‘King of Limbs” hit. It consumed everyone with ears to hear and twitters to tweet. But that’s not where the similarities end between Deron to the Nets and “King of Limbs”. Nobody knew what to make of either happening. We figured “King of Limbs” was a big deal, but opinions were across the board. It was too much to digest without fair warning. Same with Deron to the Nets. It had to be a good thing. He’s the best PG in the league going to the richest owner in the league and eventually to Brooklyn. But it didn’t seem to instantly energize the Nets. Or their fanbase. But it should be a big deal. I think ultimately both “King of Limbs” and Deron as a Net will matter and we will figure out how to understand them. It’s going to take longer than a week or two, heck, it might even take a couple years.

When we can finally wrap our heads around Deron the Net and “King of Limbs”, we will realize that Deron as a Net is to Carmelo as a Knick, just like “King of Limbs” is to “Chinese Democracy”. One will have a lasting impact, and the other will become a catch phrase for players refusing to sign extension and instead wanting to be traded. That’s an incredibly long phrase that desperately needs some help.
I can’t wait for next season when Dwight Howard starts pulling a Melo. Wake me when that’s over too.

Jazz vs Jazz East Roundup

Just some thoughts about last night's Jazz vs Jazz East (or Bulls, as some might call them) game:

I STILL DON'T MISS BOOZER

I'm not going to overstate it and tell you that the inspired performances by Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap (who was especially gritty and teethy at the start) are proof positive that we're better off without Boozer. That's what the local media is for. I realize that it's one game and you can't get too hot or cold on one game. And I realize that, if you get really statty about it, neither Jefferson nor Millsap is necessarily out-statting Boozer either this year or when he was with the Jazz. And of course there are other factors, but...I don't miss his lack of heart at all. Compare Boozer's limp showing last night to LeBron returning to Ohio. Anyone with even a little heart would really wanna show up in a game like last night. But Boozer just continues to punch the clock. And Millsap continued to show why his game and heart are endearing and 1000x better for the team than a guy who puts up good numbers with no heart. ESPN's headline "Boozer Helps Bulls Beat Old Team" is true in the same way that "(Insert Any Non Crucial Player On Bulls) Helps Bulls Beat Jazz" is.

I STILL LOVE ANDREI KIRILENKO

OK. He's overpaid. That's old news. And he probably hasn't worked like a guy making Alpha Dog money should. But, even while watching him gun ill-advised airballs last night, I found myself loving the guy. Great passer. Unusual herky jerkiness that makes him hard to guard (if not occasionally hard to watch). FOUR blocks, most of them on Boozer. Steals. Basically, and I have said this a million times, he is not the best player on the floor ever, but he is a completely unique player, whose skillset is unseen in any other one player. He may leave us for a team that's a better fit, but I'll always have a soft spot for the Russian headcase.

I STILL WOULDN'T TRADE D-WILL FOR D-ROSE

But I'm willing to admit that, at least last night, Rose is the better PG. He's quick, almost impossible to stay in front of, and does so much– distribution, rebounding, tough D, running the O. Granted, D-Will's not 100% healthy with his jacked wrist, especially shooting-wise. But Rose had his way (as he does with every team and, probably, every elite guard), got to the hole, distributed, etc. It's hard to say, but I'd put Rose above Williams on the depth chart for now. I don't think D-Will will play that poorly against Rose again, though. And I'm a loyalist, so I'm sticking with my guy. They're close and I don't doubt D-Will's fire, heart, or ability. He's not gonna sit around and let the other dudes run the league. And, like I said with Boozer/Millsap/Jefferson, let's not use one game to make big blanket statements.

I STILL MISS SOMEONE

He showed us a few times last night that he still doesn't have an outside shot. But I still miss Ronnie Brewer. The missed shots and the clutch steal are RB in a nutshell. Maybe we get a little of that with CJ Miles, but (and I like CJ) Brewer seemed to just go out and get the job done, where CJ seems to need more encouragement and swagger and momentum. I guess I miss Ashton Kutcher, but I know as well as Bulls fans that for every clutch shot like last night's, there are plenty of moments where you think, "But...I thought Korver was supposed to be money..." as the losing buzzer sounds.

I STILL BELIEVE

I'm probably alone in believing in guys like Hayward and Fesenko, who show me just enough to believe they can be differencemakers (not all-stars, probably not even starters). What's wrong with being fans of Lifetime 8th Men? Hayward showed some grit and Fesenko doesn't seem to know how to back down (when properly motivated).

The Fourth Heatle

A few weeks ago, LeBron polarized the world by telling a reporter that the team refers to themselves internally as "The Heatles" only because of the massive amounts of attention they get when they are on the road. The world then went crazy saying that the Heat will never be comparable to the Beatles becasue the Heat will never have the success of the Beatles.

My take: Yeah, yeah, whatever. The Beatles are the greatest thing ever. I get it. I don't think LeBron was going there, but even if he was it is still the best nickname that has been suggested. I like how it sounds and I'm rolling with it.
Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, its time to delve into a Heatle topic that is much more fun. The Fourth Heatle. Many suggestions have been floated around based on free agency or trade speculation. The idea has even been around since before the Heatle moniker was around. Being that this blog is a mix of sports and music, I feel more than qualified to break down the field.

Note, becoming the fourth Heatle is more than just being a memeber of the Heat. You have to have a Yellow Submarine every now and then...and be memorable even with the big shadow cast by the other Heatles.

Dwight Howard. Odds 20 to 1.

Deron Williams. Spike isn't going to like the thought of this, but he hates the name Heatles so he probably won't make it this far. He might be the biggest catch for any team post-lockout. One might argue Dwight Howard, but Williams has done much more with much less. And he is a proven leader on the floor. If he leaves Utah, he's probably going somewhere to spite the Jazz like to the Lakers rather than to run the show in South Beach. Odds 14 to 1

Chris Paul. This is a difficult one to predict. Stern will never trade him and subsequently sink the Hornets. And it would be cruel for him to leave the team just before they move to Seattle, sending Sonics fans a shell of a team. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who wants to be a fourth wheel anyway. Odds 12 to 1

Ricky Rubio. The mop top. The point guard with some flare. Won't be an option until 2012-2013. He might be too late to the Fourth Heatle Party. I'm not sure that he will even pan out as a pro anymore. Odds 12 to 1

Devin Harris. LeBron has covertly lobbied for this, but does he add the backbeat they need? Is he even better at thsi point than anyone they've got? Odds 12 to 1

Mario Chalmers. Even if LeBron has taken 'Rio under his wing, I'm not sure he will be known for much more than a NCAA Title winning three pointer. Plus he's got the Pete Best thing going. Odds 10 to 1

Greg Oden. This was floated out as a possibility since the Heat need a big man and Oden needs a change of scenery. I'm not so sure his legs can hold up to the legendary, though now less frequent, Heat practices. Insert joke here about his alleged talents on South Beach. Odds 6 to 1

Nene. Another big man scenario. This one probably hinges more on what happens in Denver in the next couple months. The Nuggs could be on the verge of a total implosion and Nene's future will simply be collateral damage. Odds 6 to 1

Mike Miller. Many are anoiting him the fourth Heatle since his 32 point outburst vs the Raptors. Thats all fine and good, but we forget that Ringo, most commonly recognized as the fourth Beatle, was not a founding member. Pete Best was. The question with Miller might be better formed as "Is he the Pete Best of the Heatles?" Odds 5 to 1

Kevin Love. LeBron has already been lobbying for him. You've got to think he is leaving Minnesota, so why not trade the Twin Cities for South Beach? Odds 4 to 1

Steve Nash. Here is where it gets interesting. Could he be Jason Kidd for the Heat? We all know Nash is a better shooter than Kidd, Chalmers or any other PG the Heat could pick up. Imagine Nash getting wide open threes a half dozen times a game. Also he is great with the high pick and roll, which has become the Heat's bread and butter. Imagine him running it with LeBron while Wade cuts backdoor, Mike Miller/James Jones stands in the weakside corner with Bosh at the free throw line extended. Pick your poisen on that one. And he has the hair for it. Only problem with this one is how he gets there. Trade? Not happening. Buyout? Not with 22 mil left on the books. That leaves free agency in the summer of 2012. Odds 3 to 1 (a guy can hope, right?)

Offseason Notes NOT Having To Do With The Douchecision

Some offseason notes:

– I am taking a little too much pleasure in watching the douchiness of T-Mac manifest itself this offseason. The Utah Bulls, er, Chicago Jazz, er, Chicago Bulls had a private workout with His WashedUpNess this week and, to hear Tracy talk about it, the Bulls front office was licking its chops about stumbling onto such an under-the-radar catch. These quotes encapsulate the magic dust he's sprinkling around. “Without me, without Boozer, they’re a .500 ball club,” McGrady said. Wow. Any quote that makes me defensive of Carlos Boozer deserves bold italics and a few extra vacation days. I can't wait til the Clippers sign him.

– In a related note, this is a fun offseason for Former Insanely Talented Alphas like AI and Shaq. The fact that some team is going to have to talk themselves into one of the game's top 2 or 3 most dominant centers ever (not anymore but still. Kareem got contracts when he could barely John McCain his goggles.) is a little sad to me. The bright side is: Pros vs Joes is always looked for some extra legitimacy and the combined MVPs, points, and NBA Finals appearances are legit.

– Also, The Utah Bulls. What the Bulls front office, in picking up Boozer & Korver & Brewer (who I miss the most, in spite of his complete inability to hit a jumper), is saying is: we believe Rose > Deron Williams. They are assembling, essentially, the same cast around Rose as Williams had. Now, Chicago fans, let's not carried away about Joakim Noah. Yes, I would take him on my team. No, he is not an elite big man. He and Memo Okur (who has one more all-star appearance than Noah) essentially cancel each other out, though I'm willing to admit that Noah's hustle is a plus. Luol Deng? A wild card of the same type as, oh, Andrei Kirilenko. Everybody KNOWS he's good. But what are you getting from him game to game, month to month? I think it's very interesting that the Bulls believe in the '08 Jazz that much. I did too, though, so I can't really hold it against them.

– The Laker Upgrade. Miami gets the most ink. But the defending champs upgraded, in my opinion, to an insane degree. A tough, mix-it-up guy who can knock down equal amounts of superstars & shots in Matt Barnes. A PG upgrade (though the WNBA has a handful of PGs who would be an improvement over Farmar) in Steve Blake. And some more size (as if they were lacking) in Theo Ratliff, who- for the sake of this bullet point- I talked myself into. Still the team to beat.

– Chris Paul. Wah. You're an amazing talent stuck on a team in transition. Your friends are all teaming up to try to gang their way to rings. You also signed a contract. I'm sure there's a gun to your head everytime you cash those million-dollar checks. Sack up. Whiny multimillionaire athletes kill me.

– The Jazz, to avoid D-Will pulling a Kobe/Chris Paul, have made some moves– Jefferson, Bell, Hayward. They aren't Miami-level or Steal Gasol For Nothing level, but they are decent. As a Jazz fan, I'm happy to see something happen that includes Boozer taking his talents/attitude/entitlement elsewhere and guys who want to kill themselves for D-Will onto the court. Hearing D-Will tell Jefferson he's gonna make him an All-Star made me really happy.

– Portland can suck it. Just because their "top tier, first round" talent can't stay healthy or perform up to par doesn't mean they should come pillage the hard-working, smartly drafted talent that the Jazz pick up (see also: Paul Milsap). Wes Matthews is a total stud and I worshipped his hard work in his rookie season. But it makes me sad that he's gonna get a ton of money to fight for bench minutes on a team whose best hopes are an injury prone elderly man still trying to have a rookie season and landing unhappy Chris Paul. This quote from Kevin O'Connor was money: "(Fesenko's) next on the agenda. (We'll) go from there, see what happens, see if Portland has any more money left."

Write or Be Written

Long has the adage floated around that those who win the war write the history books. I wonder if that saying exists in Great Britain. Or in Japan. Or anywhere that has very publicly lost a war. My guess is there isn't a phrase for that in German and that it only works in American English where we have a sparkling record in battle...or at least completely unwilling to admit defeat. Therein lies the point. No matter what happens, we write the history. We decide what we will remember.

The NBA is no different than American History. Players decide how their legacy will be written. At no other time during the NBA season are there more words being poured into the history books. Just ask First Round Tracy how important the playoffs are to NBA History. This year has been no exception to the rule. There are players who are actively writing and re-writing their legacy on the court. On the other side of the coin, there are players who are passively letting their history be edited like a bunch of college freshman who just realized anyone can edit a wikipedia page. Its not win or go home, its write or be written.

The Writers
This is not a comprehensive list, but rather a small selection of players who have done more for reshaping our memory of them than anyone else.

Steve Nash
We already knew he was tough and that he made his teammates better. But we weren't sure he could carry his team. We didn't know if he was wired with a "get on my back and I'll make sure we walk away with a win" chip. Turns out he is. I thought he was crazy wen he re-signed with Phoenix for four more years. I thought Amare would be an idiot to hitch his wagon to a 36 year old white guy who will have to guard the quickest players in the league. I was certain there were a number of better opportunities for Nash where he could push hard for two years for a title and have a better supporting cast. Turns out I was wrong. No matter how the Lakers series turns out, I will never again say that Nash didn't deserve those two MVPs.

Grant Hill
Take note all you twilight-of-your-career-stars who still think they need 20 shots a game and enough touches to get into a rhythm even though they no longer have the physical ability to require even a single team, let alone a double team. Grant Hill has effectively gone from aged, former star to defensive stopper and effective role player on a winning team. Just ask Jerryd Bayless how efective he has been.



Deron Williams
He has played in the the second round or later in nearly everyone of his NBA seasons, yet judging by the kind things being said about him, you would think this was his first trip to the playoffs. The only thing he has done differently this year is break Chris Paul's knee. Its working.

The Being Written
This is not a comprehensive list, but rather a small selection of players who have done very little to help themselves.

Shaq
Remember Oliver Miller? I do, but only because Shaq is a glaring, constant reminder. He obviously didn't take any notes from Grant Hill during his 18 months in Phoenix.

LeBron James
He is doing exactly what everybody knows he is capable of, except he has to do it every moment of every game. How does this not help our view of him and shouldn't it be more about his teammates? Yes they are to blame for their disappearing act but consider this: if a home-schooled child never learns to read, is it his fault or his parents? LeBron is the parent in this case and his teammates are the illiterate children. Any sign of trouble and LeBron immediately takes over. He can't sit back idly while his teammates struggle through words like "rebound", "defense" or "make an open shot". Of course we enjoy watching him dominate and I can only image Mo Williams does too. He has just become to accustomed to it happening. Same for Side-Show Bob, Grand Theft West, Sheldon Williams's brother-in-law and ABC's in-studio analyst for the 2010-2011 season Mike Brown.

Andrei Kirilenko
A couple years ago, AK "threatened" to walk away from the NBA. Then someone must have told him how many Rubles equals one million Dollars. He had a mini-renaissance for about 3/4 of the season before returning to Siberia.

Joe Johnson
He must really be looking forward to that max contract with the Nets. He will then really see what its like when fans don't show up. He wil have to drop the "e" from Joe in order to fit in, but thats a small price to pay for the max contract badge of honor.

All-Star Weekend 2010 Roundup

Remember when there were 108,000+ people were watching basketball on the same tv in the same room?

Remember when Gerald Wallace actually cared during All-Star Weekend?

Remember when Deron Williams exacted his revenge on the Nuggets and kept Carmelo from winning the MVP?

Remember when Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Dwight Howard had a dunk contest?

Official TBC Results from that contest: 1.Wade 2. LeBron (could have won but had a couple too many layups) 3. Howard (though he might have had the dunk of the game)

FLIPping the script

The firing of Hornets' coach (and 2008 Coach Of The Year, but that's ancient history) Byron Scott got us thinking about our CP3 Is The New KG theory.

On the one hand, the firing flips (pun most definitely intended) the script and proves us wrong. Flip Saunders had a nice long tenure (96-05) for the T-Wolves. The coach-go-round, starring McHale and Casey, started after he left. In fact, to KG's credit, it seemed like he never blamed or even insinuated that poor team play was a coach's fault. (Ahem, Deron Williams and your comment that the Jazz barely practice playing or playing against the zone.)

On the other hand, the firing proves us right. The Hornets are clearly acting to keep their franchise player happy. They need to win and win now. As a Jazz fan, I can relate to this sentiment; all Jazz fans have this stomach-sick dread that we're squandering our D-Will years and are just making it easier for him to leave (but Jerry Sloan is going nowhere and I, unlike a huge contingent of Jazz fans, don't think he should be replaced). CP3 is the new KG because his franchise is being bold (OK. Not bold. Bold wouldn't make cost-cutting moves in the offseason. Bold wouldn't hope for the best. But it would seem this is some kind of repentance for their cheapskate offseason, no?) in their efforts to right the ship and keep him happy.

Good luck, Jeff Bower. Also, please give my regards to your wife for a nicely written Wikipedia page.

Playoff Musings...Part V

This installment (number five) of our playoff-lon observations comes weighted with a lot of expectation. Episode V of Star Wars was The Empire Strikes Back. 5 is also that Lenny Kravitz album you bought and couldn't trade in at the used CD store a few years back because they already had 12 copies. 5 is also the jersey number of the incredibly intense guy in a suit on the Celtics bench dropping F-bombs and bruising ribs with chest bumps. And 5 is the number of games in a series that Detroit didn't see this year. I bet they're having more fun in Cancun than they would've had in Cleveland anyway. You can only walk through the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame so many times.

That said, here are a few observations after all the series have played 4 games.

The Hornets scored as many points against the Nuggets as Jordan scored against the Celtics in his legendary game at the Garden. Do you believe that if His Airness had played the Hornets last night, 1 on 5, that the game would've gone into overtime? I don't either. He is a closer.

Speaking of closer, it's a term that went from a novel cross-sport reference to completely overused in about 10 minutes. Should I thank Jalen Rose for dubbing a "closer" on every team even if they don't have that kind of guy? Or should the blame be placed squarely on the Blazers for forcing Brandon Roy into that role even though he is probably only a really, really good set up man?

I can't get enough of the black and white "Where amazing happens" commercials. I wonder if it wouldn't be so hard to make a new one for each game. Here are my candidates for top 5 commercials from this years playoffs so far.

- Boozer's dunk. Even though you'll have to wait until next year to play it. But then you won't be able to play it when he's high-fiving the Detroit Pontiacs during tank-a-palooza 2010; the John Wall sweepstakes.

-Williams' game winner. It was the deciding play and gave Jazz fans some sort of condolences when this off season gets messy. And it will get messy.

-Wade's banked-in 3-pointer. That would have helped me sit through him hobbling around in Game 4. Can we get a cortizone shot please, or some of that magic soccer spray?

-Allen's game winner. For two reasons. 1) It was over Joakim Noah. And 2) I think he was crying when he saw it go in. The black and white super slow-motion would help me confirm as well as put Joakim in about 600 YouTube parody videos.

-Tracy McGrady walking out of the tunnel in the Rose Garden during game 5, in the 4th quarter with the Rockets up 5. The crowd would be going crazy because they know he just lost the series for Houston. Its the anti-Willis.

Injury Report 3.7

Deron Williams (good haircut) is out indefinitely


Deron Williams (Friar Tuck haircut) is in the starting lineup

LeBron James (patience with teammates) is a game time decision

Mikki Moore (good playoff run pickup) is probable

Joe Smith (good playoff run pickup) is questionable

Luther Head (good playoff run pickup) is to be examined further

Jermaine O'Neal (more than 2 rebounds a game) is day-to-day

Raef LaFrentz (shoulder) is out for the season

Raef LaFrentz' expiring contract (12.75 million) is active until season's end

Tyson Chandler (awkward locker room interaction) is day to day...depending on game outcome

Allen Iverson (saying he'll come off the bench) is questionable

Anyone (believing Iverson) is unlikely

Michael Curry (actually sitting Iverson even though he gets berated during practice by A.I.) is yet to be seen

Charlotte Bobcats (in the playoff hunt) are probable

Anyone (telling Jordan he did a good job assembling a respectable team) is doubtful

Dream Team Up, Pt. 11

Team name: "If We Play Together Maybe You'll Stop The Incessant Comparisons" or IWPTMYSTIC for shorter, or MYSTIC for shortest
Team members: Chris Paul (CP3) and Deron Williams (D-Will)

Forever linked, forever compared, and- most likely- forever annoyed by the incessant comparisons and rumors of a rivalry, CP3 and D-Will decide to settle the score NOT in old west, shootout at noon style. But in an unexpected team-up. Like in the comic books when one of the bad guys suddenly works for the good guys. Except they're both really good. OK. That was a lousy example. How about when Apollo Creed and Rocky are suddenly training together?




Better.

Their height disadvantage (MYSTIC, not Stallone and Weathers, though that applies too I guess) plays against them (as does- for CP3- the lack of some towering dude to throw repeated alley-oops to), but their speed, tenacity, and smarts will make up for it. They have some gold medal cache, only matched by our #1 team (you can guess, but we won't reveal it to our two readers until we get there).








Can you tell we have This Seemed Like A Good Idea fatigue? Like the Grateful Dead, we will get by-y-y.

Insult And Now Injury

Right or not, the method for picking All-Star Game starters is in stone- it's left up to the voters, who can vote everyday if they want to. I may not agree with how it's done, but it's how it's done and I just roll with it. The game is kind of for the fans anyway.

But the subs? Those are in the hands of the people who should know better- the coaches. Everyone has their opinion about the All-Star snubs, who should be there, who shouldn't. Here's mine:

IT IS CRIMINALLY RIDICULOUS AND OTHERWISE PREPOSTEROUS THAT DERON WILLIAMS HAS BEEN LEFT OUT AGAIN.


(Calming down.)

Phew. OK. Let's talk.

I'm not gonna play the Smalltown Inferiority Complex card. And I'm not digging into the moldy, overdone CP3 v DWill argument. CP3 got voted a starter-fair and square- and is a dominant player. I'll let time show us how their comparison shakes out.

It's CP3's teammate- admittedly the easiest target on the West roster- that's chapping the nethers here. There's no way that David West, this year or any year, is more valuable to his team or any team than Deron Williams is to the Jazz or would be to any other team.

Take the test: you're building a team around a star. Do you take David West or Deron Williams? If you said "West," either you need to take off the beer goggles or I sincerely hope that your home was OK after Katrina. Come on. COME ON. COME. ON. He's a better leader, a more proven playoff warrior, and has the killer instinct. He was SECOND TEAM ALL-NBA LAST YEAR. That means he was one of the 10 best players in the league and one of the 4 best guards. Yes, that was last season. This season he's averaging 17.6 points, 2.70 boards, 10.1 assists, and 1.1 steals per game compared to last seasons 18.8 points, 10.5 assists, 3 boards, and 1.1 steals per game. Those numbers are down, but so incrementally as to not even matter. He's been the rock in the Jazz's injury-riddled season where even the healthy players (Okur, Korver, Brewer) have seen serious inconsistency plague them consistently.

West? Well, he shares a last name with the conference. I guess they thought they needed a forward. I won't go so far as to call him AC Green, but come on. Come. On.

Now the rest of the guys have arguments in their favor. Brandon Roy's Blazers lead the division and deserve a representative. The Lakers have dominated and should have two players. Dirk has been good, I guess. Chauncey Billups automatically improved the Thuggets, but how hard is that to do when the primary cancer is traded? Shaq deserves it. Tony Parker too, though it's hard to definitively say he's a better PG than D-Will (except when he carves up the Jazz).



The bummer is: now that he's injured, D-Will probably won't even get a chance to be an injury replacement. Maybe it's for the best.