Pre Finals Preparations, Injury Report

With player's health playing into much of the chatter going into the big opener, we thought we would give you the straight story on the important injuries.

Dwight Howard (respect) is recovering and should be at full strength by tip off.

Jameer Nelson (shoulder) doesn't matter. Two words: Fisher and Farmar.

Kobe Bryant (ego) is completely healthy.

Magic Johnson (stroking Kobe's ego) is day to day as long as he doesn't actually believe what he says.

Mo Williams (eye) hurts a lot more now.

Danny Ferry (anxiety) is seeking a specialist in New York.

Nick Anderson (memory) is haunting him a little more than usual.

Stan Van Gundy (Laryngitis) is cleared to yell again.

Phil Jackson (frankensteinitis) just took a lightning bolt to the head. Should be good to whistle for a couple more games now.

Rafer Alston (ego + playing time) is looking over his shoulder.

LA and Orlando (fans) are sure there is something going on at the arena but not quite clear on what. Better go find out.

Injury Report 4.3

Injury Reports have become one of Charlie T's signature posts. But I've been blog-negligent lately and the only strand pulling me out is an injury report. So here we go:

JAZZ EDITION
Carlos Boozer (ever winning back Jazz fans) is unlikely.

Paul Milsap (inspiring Jazz fans to pray, fast, and/or kill for him to stay) is a mortal lock.

Jerry Sloan (suiting up to show an underachieving team what it means to care) is probable.

REST OF THE LEAGUE
L.A. Lakers (hoping the Bobcats don't make the playoffs) are unspoken.

Tyler Hansbrough (giving teams visions of Mark Madsen and the Ghost of Eric Montross) is probable.

Philadelphia 76ers (missing Elton Brand) are doubtful.

Allen Iverson (actually out with a back injury) is complete and utter malarkey.

Joe Dumars (having patience for complete and utter malarkey) is out for the season.

Rasheed Wallace (not being the Pistons' residential talented headache) is surprised.

Injury Report (Shaq Edition)

Shaquille O'Neal (ego) is active indefinitely

Shaquille O'Neal (being pinned down by anyone)

Shaquille O'Neal (letting Van Gundy's remarks go) is doubtful for this week, questionable for the remainder of the season

Shaquille O'Neal (making sense when he talks) is day to day

Shaquille O'Neal (hypocrite) is probably for tonight's media Q & A

Shaquille O'Neal (making up his mind about the best player he has played with) is doubtful to ever happen

Shaquille O'Neal (doing nice things for people) is active here

Shaquille O'Neal (must see TV) is day to day

Shaquille O'Neal (being bothered by only being must see TV every once in a while) is very active

Shaquille O'Neal (turning nothing into something so he can be must see TV) is highly probable

Shaquille O'Neal (being the son of an extra terrestrial from the planet Krypton) is doubtful though not entirely out of the question

Shaquille O'Neal (joining Kenny and Charles in the studio during the entire playoffs) is still about a week out

Injury Report 3.7

Deron Williams (good haircut) is out indefinitely


Deron Williams (Friar Tuck haircut) is in the starting lineup

LeBron James (patience with teammates) is a game time decision

Mikki Moore (good playoff run pickup) is probable

Joe Smith (good playoff run pickup) is questionable

Luther Head (good playoff run pickup) is to be examined further

Jermaine O'Neal (more than 2 rebounds a game) is day-to-day

Raef LaFrentz (shoulder) is out for the season

Raef LaFrentz' expiring contract (12.75 million) is active until season's end

Tyson Chandler (awkward locker room interaction) is day to day...depending on game outcome

Allen Iverson (saying he'll come off the bench) is questionable

Anyone (believing Iverson) is unlikely

Michael Curry (actually sitting Iverson even though he gets berated during practice by A.I.) is yet to be seen

Charlotte Bobcats (in the playoff hunt) are probable

Anyone (telling Jordan he did a good job assembling a respectable team) is doubtful

Injury Report 2.25.09

Detroit Pistons (playoff hopes) are listed as day-to-day.

City of Houston (patience with teeMAK) is listed as out indefinitely.

Blake Griffin (Clippers stench) is listed as probable.

Portland Trailblazers (finishing strong) are listed as questionable.

Spike Woolridge (caring about Boozer playing again) is listed as inactive.

Paul Millsap (caring about Boozer playing again) is listed as day-to-day (personal reasons).

Anybody (cutting their cornrows off a la Carmelo, Iverson, Rip Hamilton) is listed as a gametime decision. (We hope that Delonte West is the next to follow suite)

And finally...
Gilbert Arenas is running again. We all know what that means..6 more weeks until a season ending injury.