More TBC Smart Points

Daryl Morey deserves some credit for stuffing the ballot boxx in the final weeks in an attempt to get Steve Nash into the game instead of the wildly popular corpse that is T-Maq. First, he saved David Stern from complete embarrassment. So he gets 5 TBC Smart Points for saving the Commish. Second, McGrady playing in the All-Star game would only showcase his lack of value. This is very important as Morey tries to hoodwink teams into taking on tee-mak and his absurd contract. Rockets brass gives him 5 TBC Smart Points. And last but not least, the fans win on this one. So thats 5 TBC Smart Points from anyone who likes the NBA. That brings the total up to 15 TBC Smart Points on this single move, which might be a little generous but we make up the rules.

T-Maq is Baq

When I saw that the Rockets had finally allowed Tracy McGrady to play last night, the knee jerk reaction was to revoke all of Daryl Morey's smart points. They guy is a basketball genius. Not the kind like Magic or Legend who who show their IQ on the hardwood, but the kind who seems to evaluate his team and his talent better than anyone and pull the right strings from behind the scenes. Inserting T-MAK back into the an aggressive and overachieving Rockets team seemed counterintuitive. Why put in a guy who is notoriously lazy, ruins the rhythm of any offensive team and plays no defense? Are you all of the sudden thinking the John Wall sweepstakes is worth it?

Then I came back to reality. This guy is smarter than that. I realized that there are two obvious scenarios. The first is that David Stern would rather McGrady get voted into the All-Star game as a starter rather than having to stuff the ballot box himself for Chris Paul or Deron Williams. The second scenario is that Morey is going to parade McGrady around the league in order to trick someone into trading for him.

Scenario 1
Currently the second leading vote getter as a guard in the Western Conference, t_maK making the All Star team would be almost as infamous as the 2002 MLB All Star game in terms of blunders. It would be even worse if he hadn't played a single game all year. So the Commish undoubtedly made a call to Morey's office and made a deal with him that was about as one-sided as a game between the Lakers and the Sparks. "Play McGrady." You don't question the Commish.

Scenario 2
Morey is trying to get his 1993 Corvette out of the shop and parade it around the neighborhood a little bit in order to get some sap in the midst of a mid-life crisis to offer him something, anything, for it. (The Corvettes of the late 80s and early 90's are by far the worst of any Corvette made. Every Corvette from that era all seems to be the same terrible maroon color. No car should ever be that color, but certainly never a muscle car. I like comparing McGrady to a crappy 90's "muscle car" because he is that era of muscle car. He is the NBA player people like who don't know anything about the NBA just like that Corvette is the car people get when they don't know anything about muscle cars. To them its a Corvette, or someone who scores a lot of points. Never mind the fact that he hasn't won a single thing in his career.) The timing is just right if you are going to parade him around the league, like bringing out the Corvette during the first warm day of the year with the top down. People get envious. Lets look at the teams/GMs coming up on the schedule between now and the trading deadline on February 18th. (note: all games mentioned are road games because that would all but guarantee that the other owner/GM will see him play)

Dallas - Cuban is always buying right?

New Jersey Nettes - His name is Tracy.

Cleveland - Just in case they want to add one more washed up All-Star or buy LeBron insurance

Charlotte - He would fit real well on top of the Scrap Heap

Memphis - Do I really need to spell this one out?

Miami - Rumors are building for this one, heaven help us. Dwyane might as well pack his bags now if the rumors continue.

Milwaukee - Last chance to see him before he is shipped out of town or back to the DL, could be the last time we ever see him in the NBA

There you have it. My guess it that both scenarios are true and that with any luck we can finally be rid of T-Maq for good. If you're listening Mr. Morey, it will be worth 50 TBC Smart Points.

TeeMAK Denied

TBC Smart Points for Daryl Morey: 6
That is 6 smart points for the season, up from 1 before this story broke. I really don't think this story has anything to do with him not being physically ready to play. It has to do with the 5-man symphony that the Rockets have on the court at any given moment. They don't need a guitar solo right now, nor ever.

Big Night for the 910 Conversation Story Lines

CP3=KG: 1
We know its early in the season but in the game against Boston, CP3 showed some true frustration...and KG envy. A loss last night to the Knicks probably didn't help matters.

Memphis Thirtysomethings: 2

Last night was the first of many disgruntled performances from Allen Iverson, the thirtysomething darling of the Grizzlies. We put you as the first thirtysomething Allen not because we want people to know how old you are but because we knew this would mean a lot to you.
We did what you said, "Go look at my resume and that will show you that I'm not a sixth man," Iverson said. "I don't think it has anything to do with me being selfish. It's just who I am. I don't want to change what gave me all the success that I've had since I've been in this league." And you're right. You are not a sixth man, you're a thirtysomething man...and the first one in our books.
It was also the first thirtysomething point total by a Grizzly of the season, Mr. Zach Randolph. Mayo messed up his chance to be the first by trying to go shot for shot with Carmelo. (for those of you keeping score at home Carmelo's 40+ pt effort doesn't count towards TBC eating a Caramello...because it was against the GRIZZLIES...the same grizzlies who made Kevin Martin look like Kobe Bryant last night)

Sactown Race To 14 Wins: 1

The Kings are moving along at a 25% clip, right on pace to put us in the lower bowl right behind the Osmonds.
Something tells me this won't last.

TBC Smart Points for Daryl Morey: 1

@ricbucher tweeted last night after the Rockets pulled away from the Jazz that "HOU is a 5-man symphony"
We knew after last year they would be scrappy and win some tough games, but with Lil' Chris Rock leading the squad full time now they are looking mighty impressive.

Heat vs. Suns tonight

One loyal reader and Suns fan wrote in wondering if this is a preview for the 2010 NBA Finals.
One can dream...one can only dream.

Playoff Musings, Round 2, pt. 2

Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron's only misstep was his painfully executed banter with Jay Harris after accepting the MVP award.

Cleveland is printing the "Fo, Fo, Fo, Fo" shirts right now....assuming they already got permission from Moses.

Denver Nuggets

Chauncy joins the list of guys "I didn't like but this year's playoffs is turning me into a fan." This sure didn't hurt things either.

The rest of the list includes
1. Yao Ming (looks good in a suit too)
2. Ron Artest
3. Billups
4. LeBron (the way they have handled killing everyone is much more mature than I predicted)
5. Battier (a hand in Kobe's face on every shot...no matter what. Show me 5 guys who can and will do that)

Houston Rockets

Remember the 2000 Western Conference finals? LA was up 3-1 going back to Staples but Arvydas and Co. won the next two games only to get screwed in game 7. You might not remember that because the screw-job on the Kings two years later was even worse. They took it in both games 6 and 7. Volumes have been written on the thoroughness of that particular hose job. Fast forward to 2009. Yao breaks his foot in a game 3 loss, Artest looses his cool and the home court we all thought Houston could protect was gone. So the Rockets roll over and LA books their flights to Denver. Not so. Chris Rock/Andre 3000/Aaron Brooks shows up in a red bowtie and saves the day. Great. Now LA wins at home in game 5, Houston in game 6, setting up a screw job of all screw jobs in game 7. Now that is a lot of screw jobs in one paragraph. Dang straight it is. There is no way Houston or Denver is making it to the Finals this year. Want proof? Here it is.

At least we got some memorable and intriguing series before the script became to obvious to overlook.

Playoff Musings...Round 2

Only two series have made it to the critical 2nd game, hence we only have two series to muse about today. Some loose ends also need tied up from the first round. Relevant matters first.

The Houston Rockets

Like any team who is playing against the Lakers, they are quickly become my new playoff darling. Their MVP has to be TEEmak's doctor who suggested he needed microfracture (or the guy he hired to pretend to be a doctor) or it has to be the guy the Rockets hired to keep him away from the team. I can only imagine the tactics he might be using. Ex-Lax in his milkshake, intentionally locking TMAQ's keys in his car, setting all his clocks a couple hours ahead, looping black and white footage of his 13 points in 35 seconds while that piano music plays (you know the "Where Amazing Happens" one) I can't wait for the Outside The Lines on this guy.

With the series shifting back to Houston, and real fans coming into play in the series (there was a Lakers fan wearing a purple and yellow Yankees hat at the game...I love that type of fan), I am going to list my 5 most wanted cheers rocking the Toyota Center.

5. "EAT THE HEAD, EAT THE HEAD" This happens anytime Yao checks in or out of the game. (For those who don't get it, here)

4. "RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap, RELEASE TRACY clap....clap...clap clap clap"

3. "SECOND ROUND" (with the same clapping)

2. "BREAK HIS NECK" (again the clapping) This is done anytime Artest's man gets the ball.

1. I can't actually write this one here (for our younger readers) but it has to do with Vujacic and female anatomy.

LA Lakers

Which was more poorly executed from a script, Odom walking to the game tonight to "get back to his roots when he was a kid waling around New York looking for a pick up game" or Kobe's wife meeting him in the tunnel after the game with a kiss?

Question for Lamar: Was Craig Sager and the camera crew an important part of making the whole flashback thing more authentic?

Note for Kobe: You only get to shake your head and say "You can't guard me" to Battier AFTER you have made 3 or more shots in a row. Its a rule that dates back to NBA JAM.

Orlando Magic

Barkley said it best, "Orlando was happy with getting a split." And thats exactly how championship contender think...right?

We have added a new degree of slapping. It is somewhere between the bitch-slap and the how-dare-you slap...its the Rafer.
Used in a sentence, "I made Joey look like a total loser last night while he was tried to get that waitress' number at Chili's. So on the way to the car I got Rafered."

Boston Celtics

Big Baby is your starting power forward, Jackie Moon is playing significant minutes and your team MVP, Pierce, played all of 16 minutes, 6 of which were during garbage time, and you still won by almost 20. Who else is happy to not be seeing the Bulls for 7 more games?

Dare I say Perk > Dwight? If we are talking bang for your buck, yes. If we are talking over-hyped, poorly staged dunk contests...push.

Playoff Musings...Part V

This installment (number five) of our playoff-lon observations comes weighted with a lot of expectation. Episode V of Star Wars was The Empire Strikes Back. 5 is also that Lenny Kravitz album you bought and couldn't trade in at the used CD store a few years back because they already had 12 copies. 5 is also the jersey number of the incredibly intense guy in a suit on the Celtics bench dropping F-bombs and bruising ribs with chest bumps. And 5 is the number of games in a series that Detroit didn't see this year. I bet they're having more fun in Cancun than they would've had in Cleveland anyway. You can only walk through the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame so many times.

That said, here are a few observations after all the series have played 4 games.

The Hornets scored as many points against the Nuggets as Jordan scored against the Celtics in his legendary game at the Garden. Do you believe that if His Airness had played the Hornets last night, 1 on 5, that the game would've gone into overtime? I don't either. He is a closer.

Speaking of closer, it's a term that went from a novel cross-sport reference to completely overused in about 10 minutes. Should I thank Jalen Rose for dubbing a "closer" on every team even if they don't have that kind of guy? Or should the blame be placed squarely on the Blazers for forcing Brandon Roy into that role even though he is probably only a really, really good set up man?

I can't get enough of the black and white "Where amazing happens" commercials. I wonder if it wouldn't be so hard to make a new one for each game. Here are my candidates for top 5 commercials from this years playoffs so far.

- Boozer's dunk. Even though you'll have to wait until next year to play it. But then you won't be able to play it when he's high-fiving the Detroit Pontiacs during tank-a-palooza 2010; the John Wall sweepstakes.

-Williams' game winner. It was the deciding play and gave Jazz fans some sort of condolences when this off season gets messy. And it will get messy.

-Wade's banked-in 3-pointer. That would have helped me sit through him hobbling around in Game 4. Can we get a cortizone shot please, or some of that magic soccer spray?

-Allen's game winner. For two reasons. 1) It was over Joakim Noah. And 2) I think he was crying when he saw it go in. The black and white super slow-motion would help me confirm as well as put Joakim in about 600 YouTube parody videos.

-Tracy McGrady walking out of the tunnel in the Rose Garden during game 5, in the 4th quarter with the Rockets up 5. The crowd would be going crazy because they know he just lost the series for Houston. Its the anti-Willis.

Playoff Musings pt. iv:

Wait.

Can you have a "Where Will Amazing Happen This Year" commercial that shows last year's Houston Rockets? I know you have stars to peddle, Mr. Stern, but the Rockets may have won that battle, but they lost the war. I'm not saying a team necessarily has to win the series (the LeBron commercial is the good example), but they should probably have escaped the first round.

That was amazing when the Rockets lost to the Jazz in the first round. Again.

That was amazing when Yao Ming hit that shot over Okur that extended the Rockets' season.

Playoff Musings

Spike: "I'm watching Portland/Houston. If things keep going this way, I wouldn't be surprised to see T-Mac suit up for the clinching game, just to say he got out of the first round."

If the playoffs started today...TMaK edition

Yes Vince's cousin gets a lot of abuse from Spike and myself. I'm not totally sure that there is any specific reason other than he embodies everything that is wrong with certain parts of the NBA. Selfish yet offensively gifted, heavily marketed for some reason, helps his team get better but only to a certain point (i.e. to the playoffs but not past the first round) and has a ludicrous contract that handicaps the team from actually adding great supporting players. So if the playoffs started today...

TeeMAK might actually help his team past the first round
By totally screwing his team over right before the trade deadline and choosing to have his microfracture surgery, many were rightfully disgusted. However, a month and more later those same folks are talking about how much better the Rockets are without him. They even traded away their starting point guard and continue to win.
I am going to go out on a limb, despite T-maK's history, and say that this is the best shot he has ever had at helping his team get past the first round of the playoffs. All this is courtesy of him being more selfish than he has ever been. And all this without him playing a single minute of postseason ball. No we won't get 8 points in 30 seconds, pull up 30 footers or 6-32 shooting performances. But we just might get a 5th or 6th postseason game in Houston.
Hakeem isn't walking through that door, neither is Mario Elie, Kenny the Jet, Baby Bigshot Bob and neither is Teemaq. And that is a good thing.

If the playoffs started today...Vol VI

I am excited for the NBA Playoffs and I am sure you will be too just as soon as all your Final Four teams get knocked out between today and tomorrow. Be prepared to hear chalk a lot over the next couple days...I mean a lot. So now that I've got you thinking brackets, here are some potential first round matchups, as always, if the playoffs started today.

Atlanta Hawks vs. Being Believed In
The Hawks have little to gain or lose at this point. The 4th seed is theirs. Miami is knocking on the door and they are mathematically eliminated from the 3rd spot. The Hawks have something they didn't have last year; homecourt in the first round. With that comes something else they didn't have; people believing in them. Do we have a case of the Warriors of years past where after taking the top seed to the limit, the next years are a bit disappointing because now they have loyal fans filled with local celebrities who don't care about the team but only want those camera shots coming in and out of commercial. (Did anyone count a few weeks back how many times they showed Bill Murray and Spike Lee during the Cleveland game? It was more than LeBron and that is saying something) So, with little to play for for the next 10 games, will the Hawks stay sharp? Will the Phillips Arena faithful be full of TI, Luda, Whitney and Bobby, Teddy Turner and the CNNers or will all those starving professionals dip into their rebounding portfolios for a game or two? Can they hold court as well as they did last year?


Boston Celtics vs. the rehab wing at Mass General
The list of injured Celtics (or not quite right yet post-injury) is better on paper than the list of healthy Celtics. And if it wasn't for The Truth, the injured C's might even beat the healthy C's. Rivers has already started the excuse bus in several interviews citing they "just need to get healthy" or "we need some time to get right". Sure he is right about the team being banged up. But is that what its all about or is their a little of prophecy being fulfilled?
We are starting to wonder if Mikki will get a chance to bully Pau in the paint like his forbearer, The Notorious P.J.B., and how well Teambury can chest bump at Staples.

Utah Jazz vs. Houston Rockets
They are still scheduled for their annual first round match up. There is still time to dust off the ol' highlights and reminisce before 7 games of Rockets with TEEMak vs Rockets without TMaq graphics. But just to be fair there might also be a couple Jazz with Boozer vs Boozer high-fiving in an Armani.

If the playoffs started today...Vol V

First of all, if the playoffs started today nobody would notice because they are all to busy filling out sweet 16 brackets, debating whether or not UConn is as good as they have played or how far Blake Griffin will carry Oklahoma. And they are also over using the word chalk.

The Dwyane Wade Stimulus Package vs. 4 centers, 3 midseason pick-ups, 2 rookies and a brand new coach
Wade has been the leading scorer for the Heat in 61 of 70 games. They are 36-25 in those games. 2-7 in games where anybody else steps up. He averages more than twice as many points as the next player (O'Neal) on the roster. He is obviously leading the team in minutes per game, assists, steals and is second in blocks. The Heat haven't had a losing streak longer than 3 games. Thats something neither Boston, Utah, Philadelphia, Detroit, Atlanta, New Orleans, nor Dallas can say. (those are of the current playoff teams. 8th seed in the East doesn't count.)
That said, its easy to see that the Stimulus Package is working, but thats about all thats working, and who knows for how long.
As Heat blogger Ira Winderman said "When Dwyane Wade looks at the rest of this roster, what is compelling enough to make him say, "This is a place where I want to stay"?"

Utah Jazz vs Houston Rockets
This is the inevitable first round match up (see the last two years) and they are also playing tonight. So if the Playoffs started today the Jazz would be playing the Rockets.

Jordan's manliness vs his softer side when watching his babies
Yes he shed a tear when his son won the state championship. But did he cry when the older brother lost in the first round to Wisconsin? And will he cry when the team he generally manages actually does something of note? (i.e. make the playoffs) Or do the tears only come with being the last team unbeaten?

16-4

I don't have anything witty to say. No unique angle. No breaking news.

Just the fact that, in the 20 games since TeeMak finally bowed out, "his" Rockets are 16-4 and playing for second in the west.

What is the protocol for Trading Away A QUOTE/UNQUOTE Franchise Player As Quickly As Humanly Possible Without Letting Other Teams Know Just How Badly You Want To Ship Him Off? Not that the rest of the NBA can't see it. But teams like the Grizzlies and Clippers are more concerned with selling tickets than they are with, say, getting a team to the playoffs, much less into the second round.

If the playoffs started today...Vol II

More matchups.

NBA Marketing vs DVR
Let's say TNT decides to show a first round game between, oh, The Shaqti and The Kobes. I'm pretty interested in seeing that game. It's a Thursday night. My DVR only lets me record 2 shows at the same time and I've got 30 Rock and The Office back-to-back, plus my wife's Grey's Anatomy. And I don't think I'm the only American who has DVR-Prioritization-Worries. Anyone who spends a little/too much/a little too much time with DVR knows that sometimes something has to give. This life-changing technology has its limits. Do you go to a bar and watch the game live, thus preserving the recording of your shows? Does it mean I'm not a real basketball fan if I think I'd rather watch Tracy Jordan and Kenneth the Page? What do you do? Does the NBA plan for this kind of stuff? I mean, they've gotta know that, in married households, Grey's Anatomy and maybe even that ridiculously terrible spin-off Private Practice are Must See Thursdays for the ladies and that the men are probably going with 30 Rock and The Office, maybe even Chuck. This was supposed to be short. Oops. (By the way, I count DVR as one of the 10 Best Advances In Entertainment Technology, somewhere between HD and IMAX.)

Tracy McGrady vs The 1st Round
The way the Rockets are playing (inspired, happy, hungry, relieved?), they could surprise someone in (if/when/etc) the first round. Who matches up with Yao? And a defense with Yao in the middle and His Brainness & Artest running around? Sheesh. But my point here is, what are the odds that, if the Rockets make a run, Tracy McGrady doesn't suddenly get healthy, say, RIGHT AFTER THE ROCKETS CLINCH GAME 7? A guy like TeeMak would count that as getting the Can't Make It Past The First Round monkey off his back. Can't you see him, an extreme post-game close-up, pointing his finger in the air, in his warm-ups, shouting, "Nothing is impossssssssiiiiiibulllllll..."? Honestly, you don't even see the potential for this to happen?

Season Shocker: T-Mac Milks Injury

This never happens. Tracy McGrady takes some time off this season due to an ailing body? Maybe he's taking a page from his new teammate Ron Artest, who- a few seasons ago- requested some time off from the Pacers to promote an album he co-produced. Either way, T-Mac's undefiled reputation as a gritty, infallible, road-tested warrior might take a hit.

Maybe while he's out he can work on his shot. Career-low 38% FG. And, while he's at it, make a push to get some of those Allure albums out of the bargain bin.