DEEEE-TROIT!!!

From ESPN.com:

An announced crowd of only 13,544 showed up to watch these struggling teams. The Pistons are now 12-25, and Washington is 12-24; in the Eastern Conference, only the NBA-worst New Jersey Nettes (TBC change) have fewer victories.

A. My guess is that the announced crowd exceeded the actual crowd. It's almost always that way.
B. At what point are the Pistons going to stop PRETENDING to make big changes and actually make big changes?
C. The Bullets, er, Wiz can't really blame that crappy record on the drama surrounding Agent .22, er, Zero. He was playing in plenty of those L's.
D. What part of Kid Rock's career (remember: we are sort of trying to stick to our preseason themes- Detroit's was how the team's season parallels Kid Rock's career) are we looking at now? My suggestions: maybe when Uncle Kracker (basically a Kid Rock coattailer)'s career took off? Or, and this is the one I like, when Kid Rock recorded a duet with Sheryl Crow for country radio that may have been moderately successful at the time but basically de-balled him for life AND, in retrospect, was desperate and, hey, NOT GOOD. The parallels with the "big" Villanueva (or as Hot Rod Hundley used to call him Villavanovia) and Gordon signings are too good to pass up.

Weekend Roundup, 910 Conversation

Boston Celtics Countdown to 10 Losses: 4
Not only did the Celtics stumble yet again, but it was to another contender.

Memphis Thirtysomethings: 4
Rudy Gay had another thirtysomething point night. Ho hum. We might have to drop any following of this team since AI got cut.

Another instance where Detroit takes a page out of the Book of Kid Rock: Saturday vs. Utah / Sunday vs. Phoenix
Saturday the Pistons decided to pull the "they are calling for an encore but I'm Kid Rock and they ain't gettin' nuthin'". They then followed it up by sending their D-League affiliate to Phoenix for the next game. They gave all the blue collar fans their money's worth for sure this weekend...as long as you were in Salt Lake City for the first half of the game.

Detroit Pissed-Ons

The Pistons, Pissed-Ons, Pissed-Offs...are strugggggggling. And it's ugly. Normally dominant- a veritable force in the East for years now- on what's considered one of the toughest homecourts, even DEE-Troit has become inhospitable. Jack White is pissed. Eminem will be, when he finally emerges from his Brian Wilson-esque sandbox. The facts:

– 8 straight losses (most consecutive since 94-95, when Don Chaney and rookie Grant Hill were running things, Rodman was getting traded, Allan Houston was slipping away, and the shotcallers were busy signing Christian Laettner, Loy Vaught, Cedric Ceballos, and the late Bison Dele)

– 6-18 in the last 24 games (I am too dense to navigate 82games.com, but I'm sure there's somewhere I could find out how that compares to the rest of the league. My gut tells me that it's in the lower quarter. My gut also tells me to work out, but look where that's gotten me.)

–Detroit is a loss or two away from their total losses from last season, which included a near-trademark run into (and out of) the Eastern Conference Finals.

–A.I., normally a warrior, left in the first quarter, which can only mean either he's really hurt (my guess) or he's throwing in the towel (the average Piston fan's guess). Speaking of towel throwing...

–Sheed, normally a talker, talked and also toweled and left in the fourth quarter, which isn't abnormal. I don't fault him either, unlike some blogs who are calling for his head, pointing the finger like Sheed is the one who made all of this happen. I disagree. At least somebody is showing some fire and some impatience with the losing ways.

–Rip Hamilton finally stopped putting on the happy face(mask) with this team-building soundbite:

"I've said I'm happy to come off the bench as long as we're winning," Hamilton said. "But we're losing. We're now 4-12 with me coming the bench. Something's got to change."

Joe Dumars has some big decisions to make. For a few years, in spite of their Eastern Conference Finals streak, some folks have called for Blowing It Up And Starting Over. It might finally be time. You hear that, Mr. Dumars, that is the sound of inevitability.

Rip Hamilton Starting To Warm Up To Not Starting

"It's a new challenge."

Translation:

"I started for a team that won the NBA championship against Shaq, Kobe, Derek Fisher, Gary Payton, and Karl Malone, so why would I feel weird about coming off the bench for a team that might make it out of the second round (if the Hawks and Magic let us)?"

Or

"Ginobli's happy doing being the 6th Man. If I make waves, they will crucify me. But come on, the only guys I played more minutes than were Will Bynum, Aron Afflalo, and Walter Hermann. So that's really comforting."

Or

"The upside is: I've got more time to keep in touch with the ladies. And by 'keep in touch' I mean, well, you know what Rip means, baby..."

THE STERN BRACKET: A (ROUND ONE)

Let's kick off our OJ Hypothetical 2008 NBA Playoffs with the first round of Stern Bracket, A.

#2 DETROIT vs #15 TORONTO

To no one’s surprise, the Pistons strut, swagger, and circle dance their way to a 3-0 series lead. The plot thickens, however, when Rasheed Wallace, Rip Hamilton, and Chauncey Billups fail to show up for Game 4. Depending on which press release you believe, they either a) couldn’t find the arena due to a mixup involving “Centre” and “Center”, or b) took their usual, Piston-patented bout of complacency to an all-new, all-too-literal level. The Raptors squeeze out a quadruple OT win when, just as the third overtime is about to begin, one of the games Vince Carter mailed in years ago (but apparently got lost in the Canadian post) miraculously appears at Air Canada Centre/Center to nudge them over the top. Sheed, Rip, and Chauncey have little trouble finding their homecourt and kill Toronto’s cute little underdog puppy of a season in Game 5, once again re-asserting that Kid Rock is just a little less douchey than Bryan Adams and that America Junior only wins sports you can play on ice.

#7 PHOENIX vs #10 DALLAS
This matchup (clunkily entitled The Battle Of The Hugely Risky Trades That’ll Probably Result In Some Rolling Heads, or Subplots That David Stern Couldn’t Have Rigged Better, or Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock) is tight. The series knotted 2-2, Mark Cuban and Steve Kerr get bold, making history with the only trade ever completed during the playoffs: two shoo-in Hall of Famers straight across, Shaq for Kidd. With Shaq in the middle and Dirk finally playing Giant Power Forward like the Germans engineered him to, the Mavs ruin Kidd’s homecoming and steal homecourt.
Master (Kidd) and pupil (Nash) fail to coexist when it becomes apparent to the trained eye that one of them still has it and one of them doesn’t, and that the titles don’t exactly fit anymore. So, down 2-3, the Suns beg for a tradeback. Cuban hates to mess with success, but only slightly less than he hates missing the chance to get front page headlines. Green light!
Dallas fans know it’s a bad omen when they show up at Reunion Arena for Game 6 and it’s Chuck Palahniuk Night. The first 1,500 fans get copies of Choke. Palahniuk is disappointed when there’s no Fight Club-esque twist at the end and the Mavs simply choke. “So expected,” he derisively declares when asked.

In a panic, the teams trade yet again. Years later, this series will be considered The Series That Most Resembled Fantasy Sports.

Game 7, gives us our obligatory NBA/Scarface parallel when Nash kills his best friend. Not just winning the game, either. In a tragic accident, during one of the 674 times per game that Dirk takes his mouthpiece out, a lock of Nash’s flowing Canadian mane gets in there and chokes Nowitzki to death. “Better,” says Palahniuk. Shaq can’t resist: “I’m the Big Tiger. Steve’s the Little Hairball.”