The Bullets Will Not Be Ignored

You were warned in the preseason and you didn't listen. So naturally we had to make our message a little clearer.

Get rid of that lousy WNBA name and uniforms and we will let you be.

- The Bullets

PS We do like the Abe Lincoln tattoo. That can stay.

Injury Report 4.3

Injury Reports have become one of Charlie T's signature posts. But I've been blog-negligent lately and the only strand pulling me out is an injury report. So here we go:

JAZZ EDITION
Carlos Boozer (ever winning back Jazz fans) is unlikely.

Paul Milsap (inspiring Jazz fans to pray, fast, and/or kill for him to stay) is a mortal lock.

Jerry Sloan (suiting up to show an underachieving team what it means to care) is probable.

REST OF THE LEAGUE
L.A. Lakers (hoping the Bobcats don't make the playoffs) are unspoken.

Tyler Hansbrough (giving teams visions of Mark Madsen and the Ghost of Eric Montross) is probable.

Philadelphia 76ers (missing Elton Brand) are doubtful.

Allen Iverson (actually out with a back injury) is complete and utter malarkey.

Joe Dumars (having patience for complete and utter malarkey) is out for the season.

Rasheed Wallace (not being the Pistons' residential talented headache) is surprised.

Injury Report 4.2

Once again, a rundown of the injuries in the Association.

Allen Iverson (actually retiring instead of coming off the bench) is doubtful.

Joe Dumars (calling Iverson's bluff) is probable.

Any team (wanting Iverson's services) is highly doubtful.

Allen Iverson (joining T-Mak and Vince-mail in some sort of NBA version of The Breakfast Club) will wait until the offseason.

Shaquille O'Neal (signing on to the same movie) is rumored to have interest.

Stan Van Gundy (taking pot shots at every team the Magic play) is cleared for tonight's game.

Stan Van Gundy (getting the Gundy kicked out of him at some point before mid-April) is also cleared for tonight's game.

Stan Van Gundy (causing one of his players to get flagrant two'ed in the last game of the regular season because he can't keep his mouth shut) is highly probable.

James Posey (bringing the Miami/Boston mojo to the Bayou) is seeking another opinion on where his mojo might actually be.

Austin Powers (going back in time with Posey in a hilarious adventure to find both their mojos only to find out that they have the same dad while fighting miniature versions of themselves) is rumored to have interest.

James Posey (the new Robert Horry) is doubtful.

Kevin Garnett (taking the next two weeks off and only sleeping 2 hours a night because he is spending 22 hours a day psyching himself up in the mirror) is taking part in drills.

Do Injuries Have Nipples?

Because....

Season Shocker: T-Mac Milks Injury

This never happens. Tracy McGrady takes some time off this season due to an ailing body? Maybe he's taking a page from his new teammate Ron Artest, who- a few seasons ago- requested some time off from the Pacers to promote an album he co-produced. Either way, T-Mac's undefiled reputation as a gritty, infallible, road-tested warrior might take a hit.

Maybe while he's out he can work on his shot. Career-low 38% FG. And, while he's at it, make a push to get some of those Allure albums out of the bargain bin.