Thursday, April 2, 2009

Injury Report 4.2

Once again, a rundown of the injuries in the Association.

Allen Iverson (actually retiring instead of coming off the bench) is doubtful.

Joe Dumars (calling Iverson's bluff) is probable.

Any team (wanting Iverson's services) is highly doubtful.

Allen Iverson (joining T-Mak and Vince-mail in some sort of NBA version of The Breakfast Club) will wait until the offseason.

Shaquille O'Neal (signing on to the same movie) is rumored to have interest.

Stan Van Gundy (taking pot shots at every team the Magic play) is cleared for tonight's game.

Stan Van Gundy (getting the Gundy kicked out of him at some point before mid-April) is also cleared for tonight's game.

Stan Van Gundy (causing one of his players to get flagrant two'ed in the last game of the regular season because he can't keep his mouth shut) is highly probable.

James Posey (bringing the Miami/Boston mojo to the Bayou) is seeking another opinion on where his mojo might actually be.

Austin Powers (going back in time with Posey in a hilarious adventure to find both their mojos only to find out that they have the same dad while fighting miniature versions of themselves) is rumored to have interest.

James Posey (the new Robert Horry) is doubtful.

Kevin Garnett (taking the next two weeks off and only sleeping 2 hours a night because he is spending 22 hours a day psyching himself up in the mirror) is taking part in drills.

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