Offseason Notes NOT Having To Do With The Douchecision

Some offseason notes:

– I am taking a little too much pleasure in watching the douchiness of T-Mac manifest itself this offseason. The Utah Bulls, er, Chicago Jazz, er, Chicago Bulls had a private workout with His WashedUpNess this week and, to hear Tracy talk about it, the Bulls front office was licking its chops about stumbling onto such an under-the-radar catch. These quotes encapsulate the magic dust he's sprinkling around. “Without me, without Boozer, they’re a .500 ball club,” McGrady said. Wow. Any quote that makes me defensive of Carlos Boozer deserves bold italics and a few extra vacation days. I can't wait til the Clippers sign him.

– In a related note, this is a fun offseason for Former Insanely Talented Alphas like AI and Shaq. The fact that some team is going to have to talk themselves into one of the game's top 2 or 3 most dominant centers ever (not anymore but still. Kareem got contracts when he could barely John McCain his goggles.) is a little sad to me. The bright side is: Pros vs Joes is always looked for some extra legitimacy and the combined MVPs, points, and NBA Finals appearances are legit.

– Also, The Utah Bulls. What the Bulls front office, in picking up Boozer & Korver & Brewer (who I miss the most, in spite of his complete inability to hit a jumper), is saying is: we believe Rose > Deron Williams. They are assembling, essentially, the same cast around Rose as Williams had. Now, Chicago fans, let's not carried away about Joakim Noah. Yes, I would take him on my team. No, he is not an elite big man. He and Memo Okur (who has one more all-star appearance than Noah) essentially cancel each other out, though I'm willing to admit that Noah's hustle is a plus. Luol Deng? A wild card of the same type as, oh, Andrei Kirilenko. Everybody KNOWS he's good. But what are you getting from him game to game, month to month? I think it's very interesting that the Bulls believe in the '08 Jazz that much. I did too, though, so I can't really hold it against them.

– The Laker Upgrade. Miami gets the most ink. But the defending champs upgraded, in my opinion, to an insane degree. A tough, mix-it-up guy who can knock down equal amounts of superstars & shots in Matt Barnes. A PG upgrade (though the WNBA has a handful of PGs who would be an improvement over Farmar) in Steve Blake. And some more size (as if they were lacking) in Theo Ratliff, who- for the sake of this bullet point- I talked myself into. Still the team to beat.

– Chris Paul. Wah. You're an amazing talent stuck on a team in transition. Your friends are all teaming up to try to gang their way to rings. You also signed a contract. I'm sure there's a gun to your head everytime you cash those million-dollar checks. Sack up. Whiny multimillionaire athletes kill me.

– The Jazz, to avoid D-Will pulling a Kobe/Chris Paul, have made some moves– Jefferson, Bell, Hayward. They aren't Miami-level or Steal Gasol For Nothing level, but they are decent. As a Jazz fan, I'm happy to see something happen that includes Boozer taking his talents/attitude/entitlement elsewhere and guys who want to kill themselves for D-Will onto the court. Hearing D-Will tell Jefferson he's gonna make him an All-Star made me really happy.

– Portland can suck it. Just because their "top tier, first round" talent can't stay healthy or perform up to par doesn't mean they should come pillage the hard-working, smartly drafted talent that the Jazz pick up (see also: Paul Milsap). Wes Matthews is a total stud and I worshipped his hard work in his rookie season. But it makes me sad that he's gonna get a ton of money to fight for bench minutes on a team whose best hopes are an injury prone elderly man still trying to have a rookie season and landing unhappy Chris Paul. This quote from Kevin O'Connor was money: "(Fesenko's) next on the agenda. (We'll) go from there, see what happens, see if Portland has any more money left."

Henry Abbott agrees with TBC: CP3 could be the next KG (in a bad way)

TrueHoop contributor and all around smart NBA guru, Henry Abbott:

• The Hornets are in a bind. They have an MVP candidate entering his prime in Chris Paul, a local market hammered by Katrina, an owner many people don't like, some very big bad contracts, and a feeling that they need wins now to increase revenues and convince their franchise player that he is not the next Kevin Garnett (an MVP-caliber player who doesn't get to win titles because of the constraints of his poorly run small market team). (via TrueHoop)
  

FLIPping the script

The firing of Hornets' coach (and 2008 Coach Of The Year, but that's ancient history) Byron Scott got us thinking about our CP3 Is The New KG theory.

On the one hand, the firing flips (pun most definitely intended) the script and proves us wrong. Flip Saunders had a nice long tenure (96-05) for the T-Wolves. The coach-go-round, starring McHale and Casey, started after he left. In fact, to KG's credit, it seemed like he never blamed or even insinuated that poor team play was a coach's fault. (Ahem, Deron Williams and your comment that the Jazz barely practice playing or playing against the zone.)

On the other hand, the firing proves us right. The Hornets are clearly acting to keep their franchise player happy. They need to win and win now. As a Jazz fan, I can relate to this sentiment; all Jazz fans have this stomach-sick dread that we're squandering our D-Will years and are just making it easier for him to leave (but Jerry Sloan is going nowhere and I, unlike a huge contingent of Jazz fans, don't think he should be replaced). CP3 is the new KG because his franchise is being bold (OK. Not bold. Bold wouldn't make cost-cutting moves in the offseason. Bold wouldn't hope for the best. But it would seem this is some kind of repentance for their cheapskate offseason, no?) in their efforts to right the ship and keep him happy.

Good luck, Jeff Bower. Also, please give my regards to your wife for a nicely written Wikipedia page.

Big Night for the 910 Conversation Story Lines

CP3=KG: 1
We know its early in the season but in the game against Boston, CP3 showed some true frustration...and KG envy. A loss last night to the Knicks probably didn't help matters.

Memphis Thirtysomethings: 2

Last night was the first of many disgruntled performances from Allen Iverson, the thirtysomething darling of the Grizzlies. We put you as the first thirtysomething Allen not because we want people to know how old you are but because we knew this would mean a lot to you.
We did what you said, "Go look at my resume and that will show you that I'm not a sixth man," Iverson said. "I don't think it has anything to do with me being selfish. It's just who I am. I don't want to change what gave me all the success that I've had since I've been in this league." And you're right. You are not a sixth man, you're a thirtysomething man...and the first one in our books.
It was also the first thirtysomething point total by a Grizzly of the season, Mr. Zach Randolph. Mayo messed up his chance to be the first by trying to go shot for shot with Carmelo. (for those of you keeping score at home Carmelo's 40+ pt effort doesn't count towards TBC eating a Caramello...because it was against the GRIZZLIES...the same grizzlies who made Kevin Martin look like Kobe Bryant last night)

Sactown Race To 14 Wins: 1

The Kings are moving along at a 25% clip, right on pace to put us in the lower bowl right behind the Osmonds.
Something tells me this won't last.

TBC Smart Points for Daryl Morey: 1

@ricbucher tweeted last night after the Rockets pulled away from the Jazz that "HOU is a 5-man symphony"
We knew after last year they would be scrappy and win some tough games, but with Lil' Chris Rock leading the squad full time now they are looking mighty impressive.

Heat vs. Suns tonight

One loyal reader and Suns fan wrote in wondering if this is a preview for the 2010 NBA Finals.
One can dream...one can only dream.

910 Conversation - Southwest Division

DALLAS MAVERICKS

Looking back over the last several seasons, not necessarily in any kind of scientific/wikipedia/Google way but in more of a "this is what I remember" way, it seems as if the Mavericks have a formula. The formula is: take Dirk, your franchise player, and bring in one guy to complement him. Just look– Jason Kidd last year, Shawn Marion this year, Jason Terry or Jerry Stackhouse or Josh Howard from years past. These might not seem like big moves in retrospect, but at the time there was quite the buzz going around them.

Now, by the same token, go check Sandra Bullock's IMDB page. There's a very similar philosophy/formula happening. That formula? Bring in some male lead who's getting a lot of attention and do either a romantic comedy or a suspense/thriller. There are some exceptions; Crash, Speed, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. But, think about it it's largely the same formula as the Mavericks have used for Dirk Nowitzki.
And, not surprisingly, the results have been very similar. Huge box office success but never really making anything memorable. Nothing that's gonna stand up to the test of time. So much so that we pretty much know what we're getting from a Sandra Bullock movie before we even see the preview just like we can guarantee what we'll get from a Dirk-led Mavericks team. What we at the Black Converse have decided to do as we semi-follow the Mavericks throughout the year is thus Bullocked: determine which Sandra Bullock movie this season parallels the most.

Cue Will Arnett's wonderful pitchman voice: Sandra Bullock is Dirk Nowitzki in the 2009-2010 Dallas Mavericks Season

HOUSTON ROCKETS

The Rockets are starting to become a team you can't write off before the season. That's all thanks to the man behind the curtain, Houston's own Oz (the movie, not the show), Daryl Morey. This is no revelation. So what we've decided to do is award Mr. Morey with "TBC Smart Points" every time one of his moves pays off. We also reserve the right to take them away every time Tracy McGrady plays a minute this season. Also, if Smarties or Smartfood or Smartcars want to sponsor this portion of the blog, you know where to find us.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

You might have expected us to contrast the Morey Smart Points with Chris Wallace Idiot Points. There are two reasons why that didn't happen: 1) We'd have to follow the Grizzlies too closely, something we cannot and will not commit to doing, and 2) they signed Allen Iverson to a rock bottom, one year rental agreement which was a really smart move in our eyes.

The more we dug into our vast NBA analytical databases, we discovered that any number in the thirties has the potential to play a large part in this Grizzlies season. They signed a thirtysomething Hall Of Famer, they might win thirty games, they could have thirty fans and they have a starting lineup in which each individual is consciencelessly capable of taking thirty shots per game. The theme of this Grizzlies season for us is Thirtysomething. We'll track anything related to thirty- losses, shot attempts, failed trade offers, you name it.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

CP3 is the new KG. A great player who is overly committed to a lousy team that would win about 4 games if he ever left. Don't believe us? Just watch this blog and we will be sure to point out all the instances this season that parallel KG's torturous run in the Land O' Lakes.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

Charles Barkley has famously given Tim Duncan the nickname Groundhog Day. A great nickname by all standards and possibly Sir Charles' finest moment outside his foot race with Dick Bavetta and his golf swing.

Looking at the movie Groundhog Day, we see a lot more similarities with the Spurs as an organization and not just with Timmy. Bill Murray and Gregg Popovich have a similar facial complexion. Manu Ginobili debates every spring whether or not he wants to come off the injured list and actually play, much like Punxsutawney Phil. And every Spurs season seems to play out very similarly to the previous one with only slight deviations. So we wonder this year, how will this season deviate from a typical Spurs season?

Dream Team Up, Pt. 11

Team name: "If We Play Together Maybe You'll Stop The Incessant Comparisons" or IWPTMYSTIC for shorter, or MYSTIC for shortest
Team members: Chris Paul (CP3) and Deron Williams (D-Will)

Forever linked, forever compared, and- most likely- forever annoyed by the incessant comparisons and rumors of a rivalry, CP3 and D-Will decide to settle the score NOT in old west, shootout at noon style. But in an unexpected team-up. Like in the comic books when one of the bad guys suddenly works for the good guys. Except they're both really good. OK. That was a lousy example. How about when Apollo Creed and Rocky are suddenly training together?




Better.

Their height disadvantage (MYSTIC, not Stallone and Weathers, though that applies too I guess) plays against them (as does- for CP3- the lack of some towering dude to throw repeated alley-oops to), but their speed, tenacity, and smarts will make up for it. They have some gold medal cache, only matched by our #1 team (you can guess, but we won't reveal it to our two readers until we get there).








Can you tell we have This Seemed Like A Good Idea fatigue? Like the Grateful Dead, we will get by-y-y.

THE DAVID BRACKET: B

5 San Antonio vs. 12 Golden State


Following a Game 1 loss to the Warriors in which Popovich is forced to play his 11th and 12th men searching for fresh legs, Game 2 has the Spurs only running back up the court every other possession by Golden State. Pop manages to successfully out-crazy Nellie and the Spurs win the next three games. Not to be outdone, Nelson tricks the Warriors into playing defense, leading them to three straight victories, sowing up the series in San Antonio. In true crazy fashion, they promptly parade down the river walk like they have just won the title, and fail to win another game the rest of the post season.


4 New Orleans vs. 13 Cleveland

Is there anybody else who thinks the trade Cleveland made earlier in the season made absolutely no difference? This series proved it.
CP3 had the best statistical First Round Game 1 by a point guard in 30 years followed by the best statistical First Round Game 2 by a point guard in 30 years followed by the best statistical First Round Game 3 by a point guard in 20 years followed by the best statistical First Round Game 4 by any player in 40 years. Cleveland still wins in 5 games and nobody notices that LeBron averages a triple double 26-14-10. Did I mention Chris Paul had the best statistical Game 5 by a point guard in 30 years? Stephen A. still can’t believe it.