Trade-In-Cheek Chatter

The Mothership is reporting all kinds of trades. And by all kinds I mean any possible scenario to get you to click around on the website. But the question is, are any of them true? Can anybody confirm or deny the veracity?

Here are a couple that we are getting reports that are all but done according to sources.

POSTED Feb 19 at 11:05 MST

The Source reports that the Nets are going to send Jay-Z to the Wizards in exchange for Arenas. Reports say the Wizards are interested in bringing HOVA on to perform at half time the rest of the season in an attempt to sell tickets. It also works out for Nets co-owner Bruce Ratner who is looking for a personal chef. Hibachi has no real value on the court at this point so we have to assume the reports are true.

POSTED Feb 19 at 11:09 MST

A three-way trade is reported between the Phoenix Suns, Chicago Bulls and Charlotte Bobcats. In the trade the Bulls would land Bobcats GM Michael Jordan and Suns GM Steve Kerr, the Suns would receive Joe Johnson and Shawn Marion back somehow and the Bobcats would "just be happy to have anyone else as their GM".


The following reports are highly probable according to The Black Converse insiders.

POSTED Feb 19 at 10:54 MST

In an attempt to dispel the circulating rumors about his still mysterious trips to the Dominican Republic in 2001 with pal A-Rod, LeBron James will switch from Tic-Tacs to Mentos. He will also erase A-Rod's Cousin's number from his cell phone.

POSTED Feb 19 at 11:14 MST

The Salt Lake Tribune reports that Carlos Boozer will trade the remaining season and the rest of next season to the Jazz in exchange for wearing suits and giving high-fives during games. The deal is contingent on Boozer being excused from attending any team practices and press conferences.


The following reports are long-shots according to TBC insiders.

POSTED Feb 19 at 10:44 MST

The Houston Rockets had been shopping teeMAK to Darfur in exchange for anything...anything. Trades have since broken down now that more light has been shed on TmaK's injury. Rockets owner Daryl Morey will now finish off that bottle of scotch and turn Nick Drake back on. Rockets PR declined our attempts to contact him only responding with "Mr. Morey requested that Sally, hold all his calls."

Dream Team-Up, Pt.1

Team ups have been happening for decades.
Marvel Team-Up
Dylan and Cash doing Girl From The North Country
Dylan and The Dead
Dylan and Anybody

Even the I'm Not There soundtrack had some legendary pairings.
Stephen Malkmus with the Million Dollar Bashers (members of Sonic Youth, Wilco, Television, Medeski Martin & Wood)
Eddie Vedder with the Million Dollar Bashers
Jim James and Calexico
Roger McGuinn and Calexico
Willie Nelson and Calexico
Calexico and apparently anybody

In anticipation of the forthcoming all-star Nick Drake tribute compilation, Dark Was The Night (which is a veritable who's who of indie rock pairings), the NBA All-Star festivities, and Obama bullying his way around to make changes in all sports (including the long awaited College Football Playoff), we're creating our ultimate All Star Team-Ups.

Everyday until its release, Dark Was The Night will be posting a new song here. Likewise, we'll be posting a new pairing from our hypothetical (for now) 16 team Two-on-Two All-Star Tournament. It's our jocky way of paying tribute to Nick Drake through both inspired and ridiculous pairings.

In the spirit of Obama's change and our forebearer Bill Simmons' constant desire to change All-Star Weekend, we propose a massive 2-on-2 tourney. The rules are simple: make your own team. Play in a seeded tournament (part John Hollinger, part David Stern, part PT Barnum). Winners go home with a million apiece. Simple.

These are the teams we'd like to see, starting with:

Pairing #1

Team Name: Round 2, or Cuzzins
Team Members: Vince Carter and TEEmak

Team Synopsis: Look at all of the unrealized potential of those bygone Raptors days. Both players have learned a lot. Probably. Maybe. A few things are uncertain: Will TEEmak be injured? Will Vinsanity show up? Or will The Great Canadian Postage Stamp be the one making the appearance? Can they peacefully coexist? Or will this turn into some Tyler Perry Family Reunion montage of guffawful hilarity? Are there even enough ill-advised shots to go around? Not to mention failed hero moments? One thing is for certain: this team is NOT tasting the second round.

Season Shocker: T-Mac Milks Injury

This never happens. Tracy McGrady takes some time off this season due to an ailing body? Maybe he's taking a page from his new teammate Ron Artest, who- a few seasons ago- requested some time off from the Pacers to promote an album he co-produced. Either way, T-Mac's undefiled reputation as a gritty, infallible, road-tested warrior might take a hit.

Maybe while he's out he can work on his shot. Career-low 38% FG. And, while he's at it, make a push to get some of those Allure albums out of the bargain bin.