Simple Math and Exploding Heads

We all know the classic math problem "If train A leaves Chicago traveling 100MPH and train B leaves New York traveling 150MPH and the distance between the two cites is 600 miles how far from New York will it be when the two trains meet?" Not many of us could rattle off the answer but somewhere along the line we have used the first part of it as a joke, which was probably unsuccessful unless you wear your pants somewhere between your bellybutton and your nipples.

Now I would like to alter a couple things. Train A isn't leaving Chicago, its leaving Cleveland. Train B isn't leaving New York but rather its leaving Mississippi. On those trains are the futures of LeBron and Brett Favre. And once again, this summer, they will be battling for Bottom Line Dominance*.

This is where heads are going to explode. Those heads being in Ohio, Minnesota, New York, New Jersey, Illinois, Florida, Toronto (assuming Chris Bosh and the Raptors can crack the crack the top 5 in Canadian popularity) and especially in Bristol, CT. Nobody is going to know what to do with themselves as both parties speculate about their future. It will be a battle fought in the sky with multiple helicopters, on the ground (I wonder if Rachel Nicholes will be the first person to broadcast live from two locations, simultaneously) and in the sea (at least I hope...there aren't enough news boats out there). I predict that we see the inception of LeBronCenter and FavreCenter as a result of the ensuing spotlight battle during the forthcoming summer.

We can pretty much pencil in Favre as the QB for the VIkings next year. LeBron becomes a little tougher to pin down (we all know the lack of income tax in Florida has got to be alluring) but there isn't as much mystery around it as there once was. And we can all rest assured that there will be no lack of coverage as these two trains approach their destinations.

*Bottom Line Dominance (or BLD) is attained when a news story dominates ESPN's Bottom Line sports ticker. Examples include Tiger, Brett Favre and his retirements, and the upcoming NBA free agent class.