Mr. Big Z Goes To Washington

We figured since Big Z has been so gracious to us all season we should give him another opportunity to voice his thoughts to our readers, even though he is no longer with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Big Z, the floor is yours.

"I thought after this commercial that I was finally one of the guys and could start participating in the timeout photo shoots and the all-night poker parties at 'Bron's house. I also thought that being one of the guys meant I was going to get to finish out my contract with the only team I've ever known.



I guess I was wrong. But now I'm not sure what to do. My agent thinks I love Cleveland, my new team has no problem with me sightseeing all day, I'm still getting paid and The Commish is trying to keep me from being able to sign back with the Cavs (assuming I get released). I'm starting to think that this new gig isn't so bad. Why would I want to go back to the Mistake By The Lake? To Witness greatness? I know what thats all about. I'm witnessing greatness everyday as I make my way through the Smithsonian. I witness greatness on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Cleveland broke my heart when they sent me away...I'm not going to let them do it again.

Boston, Orlando...If you're listening...I am ready and willing to come teach you the handshake. Just let me finish the Air and Space Museum.

Z

P.S. You can only be Superman as long as you can fit into the tights. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

P.P.S. I know a lot of you have been getting some good laughs off my bald head being likened unto a Bullet, but just because I'm in Washington doesn't mean the Bullets are back."

Well there you have it....Big Z in his own words.

All-Star Weekend 2010 Roundup

Remember when there were 108,000+ people were watching basketball on the same tv in the same room?

Remember when Gerald Wallace actually cared during All-Star Weekend?

Remember when Deron Williams exacted his revenge on the Nuggets and kept Carmelo from winning the MVP?

Remember when Dwyane Wade, LeBron James and Dwight Howard had a dunk contest?

Official TBC Results from that contest: 1.Wade 2. LeBron (could have won but had a couple too many layups) 3. Howard (though he might have had the dunk of the game)

Them Crooked Fortunes

Dear Seattle,

I am sorry for the dismal luck you have had with your most beloved, specifically the Sonics and Grunge. As if things aren't bad enough just thinking about what could've been, I can only imagine how its been a tough past week for you.

First, Dave Grohl was front and center during this last episode of Saturday Night Liveas a the drummer of a band reuniting. This was after he was behind the drum kit just killing it for the sake of killing it. I'm sure there is some consolation in seeing Dave actually playing some hard rock and having long hair again, but its probably very small if its there at all.

Then just last night the Team That Could Have Been (KD and the Boys) made a visit to your little brother (Portland). Not only did he have a game (33 and 11) but he reached a milestone only two other players in recent history have hit. He has now scored 25+ points in 25 straight games. Only The Answer and Air Jordan have surpassed that feat. I won't mention that they are in the playoff picture, pushing for home court, and have won 6 straight.

You might want to stay away from your TV's and computers this weekend with the All-Star game approaching. If Kobe isn't playing, KD is the front runner to get the MVP and has an official coming out party. You're going to want none of this type of news, especially if you're already rock bottom after last night in Portland.

Again, I am sorry things have worked out this way. You can only be excited about Pete Carroll for so long.

Sincerely,

Charlie T Hustle Jr.

Leave The Best One Behind

It happens to me all the time. I get a new album, find a song or two on it I like and then play them to death. Its really a habit I should break because its ruined so many songs for me. Upon getting the newest Retribution Gospel Choir album, I found that the first song, Hide It Away, was far and away my favorite. And it didn't help that it was the first track, making it all too easy to repeat it without hearing anything else. Then I got worried that I might play it to death. Something had to change.

I got in my car one morning and the album was in the cd player. The first song had just finished but I wasn't paying too much attention to that. I just let the album play. A few songs into it, I found my self really liking the rest of what I was hearing. But I mean really liking it. I had given the cd a few plays clear through, but because I loved the first song so much, it made the rest of the songs seem very ordinary and unexciting. But something great happened that morning when the album got a good listen without being in the shadow of the best song. And turns out, the rest of it is even better than I had thought.

That leads me into my next point. Here at TBC, we've been mostly down on LeBron James. Not because he is a bad basketball player, but mostly because we didn't like being force fed hearty helpings of King James everywhere we looked. We, or maybe just me, felt that the hype was vastly over done for a guy so young and relatively unaccomplished. This season, I am starting to have a change of heart. I have seen quite a few Cavs games, though they are hard to miss, and James has definitely taken his game to another level. Its not only effecting his game, but the rest of his team looks phenomenal. He makes JJ Hickson look like the second coming of Scottie Pippen (which he isn't...Hickson will be out of the league a year after he stops playing with LeBron), he makes Boobie Gibson still look like a 12 year old and he makes Shaq (at least for 5 possessions a game) look like Lew Alcindor out there. Nobody else could do that I am convinced. Kobe would chew those guys out to the point that they wouldn't even show up to practice. Wade (as much as it pains me to say this) would get his 20 and then take the rest of the game off.

So it made me think, if you took the best player off all the teams in the league, like I did with the best song off the RGC album, which team would shine the brightest? I would be that Cleveland would not be the first team to come to mind. Or the second, third or the twentieth. This is not a new revelation. Everyone knows LeBron has been on bad teams his whole career but has managed to make them competitive. But there is something about this particular cast of characters playing with him this season that has upped the degree of difficulty, to which he has responded incredibly. And that is why I now buy into LeBron. And the Cavaliers.

48 point games by Vinsanity won't stop them. The athleticism of the Hawks won't either. Neither will KG's wooden leg. Chauncy and the Gang won't get a shot at them. Nor will Deron and his Merry Men. This year will be the matchup everyone wanted last year, Kobe v LeBron. I will stand by this prediction, even though a two year old could see this coming. The difference is, I'm not one to pencil in the favorites.

Who Scorecard

Well, after gloating about last year's minor victory, it's only fair that I concede to Charlie T for his Halftime Music Guess win this year. The medleys killed me; I had suspected they might give snippets of some songs, but not to the degree they did. I should've read this. No Springsteenian crotch slide, no wardrobe malfunctions (if you don't count the shots of Pete Townshend's midriff), some windmills, and a lot of Pete Townshend Not Trying To Pretend He's Ever Been Capable of Glossy Which Spike Totally Dug. The actual results:

Pinball Wizard (a verse and a chorus, at most)
Baba O'Riley (yes, they shortened the intro and outro, but they still gave this one a whole chunk of their time)
Who Are You? (totally blindsided TBC)
See Me, Feel Me (what?????)
Won't Get Fooled Again

Charlie T.'s Picks
(3/5, but WRONG about order and WRONG about only song from Tommy. I just wanted to write wrong in all-caps twice. See my pick results for the reason why.)
(I've decided that 5 songs is the magic number)
1. Baba O'Riley
2. Pinball Wizard
3. We Won't Get Fooled Again
4. My Generation
5. I Can See For Miles


Spike's Picks
(2/5 and a big fat slap on the wrist for not trusting my Baba O'Riley instincts.)
1. My Generation
2. Pinball Wizard
3. The Seeker
4. Magic Bus
5. Won't Get Fooled Again

Oh, and the Saints won. Can we just place a moratorium on Who Dat? Please?

Somewhere Googs Is Hearing Footsteps

Its been awhile since we've checked in on Al Jefferson's assault on Timberwolves' history and if trade rumors yield any kind of fruits, it could potentially be the last time we check in. Needless to say this has been quite the journey through the storied past of the Minnesota NBA Franchise.

Last we checked he was sitting comfortably at 11th all-time in points and 7th all-time in rebounds. Flash forward about two months and 9th and 5th respectively. That means in 180 career games as a T-Wolf, he went from dead last to Top Ten and Top Five in two huge categories. He now sits squarely behind Tom Gugliotta in both the points and rebounds categories, and he did it in 50 fewer games.

All-Time Points

8. Tom Gugliotta 4,201
9. Al Jefferson - 3,254
10. Pooh Richardson 3,698
11. Anthony Peeler 3,622

All-Time Rebounds

4. Tom Gugliotta 1,970
5. Al Jefferson - 1,958
6. Wally Szczerbiak 1,932
7. Rasho Nesterovic 1,711

Not much funny or interesting here, except that once KG retires (or sooner) there is a valid argument for the team to change their name to the Minnesota Garnetts. Because really, thats all there is to this franchise, 12 years with the Big Ticket.

I Don't Need To Fight, To Prove I'm Right

The easiest marriage between sports and music is the Halftime Show at the Super Bowl. Thanks to some great artists getting picked to perform in the last few years, Spike and I have remained interested in the TV during the World's Largest Bathroom Break.

Last year we limited all our wagering to Springsteen's Set List. This resulted in varying degrees of success, or me getting lit up by Spike like a receiver trying to make a catch over the middle. With any luck, my guessing of this year's set list will yield better results.

Charlie T.'s Picks
(I've decided that 5 songs is the magic number)
1. Baba O'Riley (how can they not open with this great intro?)
2. Pinball Wizard (sadly the only song I think they'll play off of Tommy)
3. We Won't Get Fooled Again
4. My Generation
5. I Can See For Miles

I think it happens in that order. The only way it could deviate is if they swap Baba O'Riley and I Can See For Miles.

As a side prop bet, I am taking the over on Townshend Windmill Strums (+/- 25)

Spike's Picks
OK, Charlie, I'll fall in line and follow you down the 5-song path. As a lifelong Who fan (my band covered "The Seeker", "Substitute", "Behind Blue Eyes" [better than Durst, don't worry], and "Baba O'Riley"), one who has owned at least four of the 675 different "Greatest Hits" albums.* The Who are harder to pick than Springsteen because their catalog is bursting with more upbeat anthemic rockers than The Boss has. Here are my picks:

1. My Generation- a classic, a rocker, and it's short.
2. Pinball Wizard- Charlie T. & I agree: this is a perfect second song. People will go ape when that intro starts up.
3. The Seeker- My dark horse. As long as he doesn't pull a Springsteen and change up the words like, "I asked Bobby Dylan, I asked The Shwami, I asked Bill Belichick and he couldn't help me either...", we'll be just fine. A solid rocker. And it's short.
4. Magic Bus- I'm inclined to agree with Charlie T. on "Baba O'Riley" (maybe my favorite Who song), but I'm feeling like a gambling man today. I was gonna go with "Join Together," but it's more obscure. My only worry is that it has a lot in common with "The Seeker."
5. Won't Get Fooled Again- Another song that will require some creative condensing, there's no following this song up. Like I said last year about "Born To Run," if you're smart (Bruce wasn't. Sorry, he wasn't.), you don't try to follow up epic. Especially if it involves a contrived gospel choir behind you. Also, if Daltrey does it right, the all-time epic scream should leave him appropriately voiceless.

I'll miss The Ox and Keith for sure. But so will everybody.












*Honestly, how many are there? I really owned at least four different tapes- Who's Greatest Hits, Meaty Beaty Big & Bouncy, The Ultimate Who, and one other- all different track listings, probably different record companies. It's insane.)

The Clippers Stink, Futility

Anyone who has ever followed a team on the fringes of mediocrity knows that you always look ahead on the schedule and try to predict wins. You see games against Minnesota, New York, Sacramento, Indiana, New Jersey and Washington and pencil in wins in an attempt to predict a rise in the standings for your team. You hope your team can feed off of futility and not be one of the 20 wins for the other team.

This brings us to our next look at how the Clippers might get rid of the stink and the losing ways. Two nights ago the took the court against the lowly Nettes. The 3-40 New Jersey Nettes. The first line of the AP article on the game starts "The crowd was on its feet and clapping. The players were standing near midcourt, happily waiting for the final buzzer to sound." Too bad the game was in East Rutherford. It wasn't the Clippers feeding off the bottom. It was the Nettes taking advantage of the losing ways of the Clippers. It appears it wouldn't matter if the Clippers played the Nettes every night.. They still might only be a .500 team having split the season series with the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The letters guessed on this edition of Clipper's Stink Hangman were N-E-T-T-E-S. (or just N-E-T-S for those hardcore rule hounds). Below is an updated Hangman board, red letters showing the newly guessed letters. Looks like we might be inching a little closer to the answer.

2010: The 1st Quarter

We failed to follow up adequately (though end of year and end of decade lists should count for something) on last year's Quarterly Music posts. Oh well.

Here's what we're looking at in Q1:

Patty Griffin- Downtown Church Recorded in, yes, an historic downtown church with Buddy Miller producing and a lot of Nashville favorites sitting in (Emmylou, Jim Lauderdale, Raul Malo, Julie Miller, Buddy himself). Add my favorite drummer (the chronically misspelled Jay Bellerose) and a bunch of gospel songs (only two originals) and we could be seeing this at the end of the year. The girl CAN SING, my friends.
Beach House- Teen Dream This album has potential to be this year's Merriweather Post Pavilion if it's not careful. Luckily, all the reviews I've heard so far have come from a diverse audience of unjaded, hipsterproof folks.
Retribution Gospel Choir- 2 The single alone is good enough.
Spoon- Transference Is it blasphemous to say that I wasn't all that jazzed on their Letterman performance? Well, I wasn't. Still, they built up an awful lot of equity with Kill The Moonlight, so they'll get some listens.
Eels- End Times One of my great live show disappointments was FINALLY getting to see Eels live (in 06) and have them decide to go aggro. Not that I don't like the quick-and-dirty Eels; just that I had heard some of the Town Hall live recordings and, really, my side of E is his introspective side. That show was anything but introspective. Entertaining, but not what I'd hoped for and heard all about. Why do I bring this up now? Because that experience has kept me from getting excited about Eels like I normally would.
Kanye West- VH1 Storytellers His albums, like it or not, are events.
Langhorne Slim- Be Set Free
Magnetic Fields- Realism The high concept, no-instruments-that-have-to-plug-in philosophy is intriguing (though Gillian Welch doesn't get any points or even bother making a big deal out of it).
Charlotte Gainsbourg- IRM
Frightened Rabbit- The Winter of Mixed Drinks Did we overpraise their last record? Yes. Does that lump too much pressure on this album? Yes. Are we still looking forward to it? Of course. I, Spike Woolridge, promise not to do to this record what I unfairly did to Great Lake Swimmers Lost Channels last year (first listen unrighteous dismissal followed by a late year repentance).
Rogue Wave- Permalight
Mumford & Sons- Sigh No More Buzz, buzz, buzz. I got my hands on an import and it's good. Sometimes it feels like it's trying a bit too much. But it's good. And you have to pay attention when Stereogum AND Telluride Bluegrass Festival are lauding the same record. You just do.
Midlake- The Courage of Others Will we get "Roscoe 2.0"? Can the flute be cool?
Mount Eerie- Black Wooden EP
Shout Out Louds- Work The song "100 Degrees" is one of my favorites of the last decade. I didn't make a list, for which we are all grateful.
Natalie Merchant- Leave Your Sleep Call me old. Call me irrelevant. But she has a place at the table. You can't deny her involvement with R.E.M., Cowboy Junkies, and Wilco. Those are artists who (ignoring some of the searching-era R.E.M.) have survived the test of time.
Massive Attack- Heligoland I haven't loved anything they've done since Mezzanine. And part of me wonders if they're stuck in a genre rut without the tools to free themselves. But I still have a floating interest in what they'll do next.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Beat The Devil's Tattoo The true sleeper of the bunch. Baby 81 and BRMC made my Best of Decade list, their set opening for Spiritualized in 2002 was one of the best I've ever seen, and Howl failed to make my list only because I'm too uncool to own it. They've been on a hot streak. Let's see where this goes.
The Watson Twins- Talking To You, Talking To Me Will they finally break free of "they did really great on Rabbit Fur Coat" paradigm?
Drive By Truckers- The Big To-Do
The White Stripes live There are very, very, very few live albums that get repeat listens for me and, sorry, I have a hard time thinking this will make that list.
Yeasayer- Odd Blood
Neon Trees- Habits Could be a huge year for this band. Utah could use somebody to help the world forget about The Used. Hopefully Tyler Glenn doesn't end up on Keeping Up With The Kardashians (a la McCracken on The Osbournes).
She & Him- Volume 2
Broken Bells- s/t (Danger Mouse + Shins' James Mercer)
Gorillaz- Plastic Beach Damon Albarn: most underrated musical Brit?
The Best of Pavement Typically, we wouldn't list a Best Of, but one from the band we thought would never make one? Gotta.
Josh Rouse- El Turista Didn't love his last one, so...it's a telling album.
The Streets- Computers & Blues
Lightspeed Champion- Life Is Sweet! Nice To Meet You
Brian Jonestown Massacre- Who Killed Sgt. Pepper?
Angus & Julia Stone- Down The Way

How many of these am I really interested in? How many of these will I even sample? The answer is embarrassingly low. But I already own the first three. So that's a start.

Regardless, 2010 is already shaping up to be pretty great.

Please. No. And, furthermore, never. Ever.

I had to check the calendar- is it really April 1?- and only clicked through because I knew a reputed sports site like ESPN.com wouldn't have any accompanying photos

but (and emphasis on but)

WHAT?

So many thoughts:
- to paraphrase Cindy Lou Who, "why, Greg Oden, why?"

- I guess when you're not ever playing, you kinda get bored.

- what would be worse: seeing Bea Arthur or Greg Oden naked? I'm going with Oden. They're approximately the same age anyway.

- isn't there a Celebrity Orientation class that these first rounders have to take? (Not to be confused with Starving Desperate C-Listers class, where this moronic move would be 101.) Cover such topics as: Careful With That Entourage! and Have Somebody Else Carry The Gun and Don't Text Naked Pictures Of Yourself To Anyone Ever and Just Have A Shred Of Common Sense, Idiot.

- Kevin Durant, anyone? OKC loves their life.

- Somewhere, Sam Bowie is so stoked. His run as the NBA and Portland's big draft gaffe may have, at least temporarily, fallen a spot or two. "Yeah, they picked me over Jordan and I never panned out, but I never sent nude photos and then got them posted online! Holla!"

- Oden apologized publicly, as our stars tend to do (they DO all enroll in Crisis Management 101, it seems). I can't help wonder if he should apologize more for the photos or for playing in 7 games through 2 seasons at several million a pop.