Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Mr. Big Z Goes To Washington

We figured since Big Z has been so gracious to us all season we should give him another opportunity to voice his thoughts to our readers, even though he is no longer with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Big Z, the floor is yours.

"I thought after this commercial that I was finally one of the guys and could start participating in the timeout photo shoots and the all-night poker parties at 'Bron's house. I also thought that being one of the guys meant I was going to get to finish out my contract with the only team I've ever known.

I guess I was wrong. But now I'm not sure what to do. My agent thinks I love Cleveland, my new team has no problem with me sightseeing all day, I'm still getting paid and The Commish is trying to keep me from being able to sign back with the Cavs (assuming I get released). I'm starting to think that this new gig isn't so bad. Why would I want to go back to the Mistake By The Lake? To Witness greatness? I know what thats all about. I'm witnessing greatness everyday as I make my way through the Smithsonian. I witness greatness on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Cleveland broke my heart when they sent me away...I'm not going to let them do it again.

Boston, Orlando...If you're listening...I am ready and willing to come teach you the handshake. Just let me finish the Air and Space Museum.


P.S. You can only be Superman as long as you can fit into the tights. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

P.P.S. I know a lot of you have been getting some good laughs off my bald head being likened unto a Bullet, but just because I'm in Washington doesn't mean the Bullets are back."

Well there you have it....Big Z in his own words.

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