Sun F. Yue: Doer Of The Impossible

A little while back, ESPN changed their box scores. They added a pointless stat; the +/-. Okay, well maybe its not toally pointless but it was a point of devistation for me. I thought that the infamous Club Trillion would become obsolete. The premise is to not log a single stat in the box score during your time on the court. No FG attempts, fouls, turnovers, accidental rebounds. Now you had to make sure the score pretty much never changed during your garbage time.

How fitting that the Chinese, and their ability to do coordinate the seemingly impossible, managed to get a player in the NBA and beat the +/- and land a 3 trillion. And he did it right under the nose of Kung Pow Yao.



Congrats Sun Yue.

Fitting Timing by Mr. Ryan Adams

"maybe we will play again sometime and maybe i will work my way back into some kind of music situation, but this is the time for me to step back now, to reel it in and i wish everyone peace and happiness." -Ryan Adams

In another bid to align himself with (or totally parrot) the greats and to perpetuate his string of stabs at crossing over into as many genres as humanly possible, singer-songwriter Ryan Adams announced his retirement from music 10 years to the day that Michael Jordan announced his (first) retirement from basketball. Where did he announce this? The United Center? The Ryman Auditorium? His blog, of course.




We've seen Ryan- that's what I call him, that's what all his inner circle like me call him- do roots rock, country, alt country, 80s rock, depressing rock, hippie rock, and more. Who knew he had jock rock in him?

So what can we learn here?

Well, Ryan Adams, as has been thoroughly discussed on this very blog, is in a school of candidates for the Next Dylan, which is the musical version of the Next Jordan. Adams is not the Next Dylan or the Next Jordan, but some of these parallels have legs.

-Michael Jordan retired thrice, once for baseball once after the famous Bryon Russell pushoff (How Russell got away with such documented cheating is beyond me.), and once after his so-so stint with the Wizards. Ryan is on his first. But I wouldn't bet against a guy as prolific as Ryan easily breaking this particular Jordan record.

-Michael Jordan also unretired more than once. Ryan'll be back. A lifer (and a good one, at that) can't stay away for long. Will he be MJ on the Bulls? Or will he be MJ on the Wizards? Will he be Favre on the Jets? Will he be (trying to think of example of a non-Bulls-Jordan unretired jock who succeeded....still trying...give me a second...ok...just fill in your own great idea here)?

-Jordan toyed with baseball. Ryan's baseball is, um, writing books and "soul poetry." I hope his batting average is better than MJ's. But I wouldn't bet my pocket change on it.

-Michael Jordan never blogged. Ryan Adams is giving up blogging. The influence is becoming crystal clear. If I see Ryan Adams back his bike into a hotel concierge while talking to Michael about Hanes, I'm calling foul.

-Michael Jordan, with a Christopher-Guest-in-The-Princess-Bride-Handful of Championship Rings, had no worries about his legacy. Ryan is worried and says so. OK, so that is the anti-parallel. But perhaps he's worried about his legacy precisely because Jordan's was cemented.

-If you ask me, it sounds like he's using this as a way to dissemble the Cardinals. And I think Jordan wanted to prove to Scottie that he was a legitimate second banana.

Magically 3licious

Pardon the terrible title.

The Orlando Magic set an NBA record for 3-pointers made last night with 23. The record they broke was 21, set by Toronto in 2005. A couple of thoughts:

- JJ Reddick was 4-7. A renowned sharpshooter who has slumped of late, this was his kind of game. I'm guessing there was at least one hypnotist, 2 towels soaked in eau d'Cameron Indoor, three Coach K motivational mp3s, and a couple of "I think there are some NBA scouts in the arena tonight" rumors involved.

- Jameer Nelson was 5-5. I bet Reddick hears about that for awhile. Or he would, if he were actually not in some kind of hypnotic coma.
- The great Marcin Gortat was the only Magic player to attempt a 3-pointer and not make at least one. He too will have an earful for awhile. Dwight Howard can at least say he didn't even try to make one.

- The worst percentage- besides 0%- was PG Anthony Johnson who shot 1-4 (25%), everyone else was: 3-5, 3-5, 1-1, 4-7, 4-6, 1-2, 1-1. They were smoking hot. If I were anyone who'd made a shot, I wouldn't let a practice end without quietly suggesting that Johnson put in a little overtime working on his shot.
- HOW MANY NBA RECORDS ARE SET AGAINST VERITABLE DOORMATS? Sacramento, this record's victim, is sitting on a sorry record of 9-30. I can't imagine Philly was too good when Toronto set the original record of 21 3-pointers (though, Toronto was pretty weak at the time too, as Kobe went for a career-high 81 points a week later against them). If I were John Hollinger or some other skilled statistician/googler, I'd look this up. But you gotta believe that records aren't getting set against great teams, most of the time.

Mehmet Okur, minus the "Meh"

Playing at home against the Pacers, Mehmet Okur went for a career-high 43 points on Monday night, joining this season's 40+ Club (with Amare Stoudemire and Kevin Martin?). Interestingly, he didn't score any of the last 15 points scored by the Jazz.

It was the most points by a Jazz center ever. That's really, really hard to believe when you look the long-armed legacy of Utah C's:








(not pictured in a Jazz uni, but who could forget the sucker punch?)

First Date at the Merriweather Post Pavillion

Two years ago I decided to go on a blind date with the Animal Collective. The date consisted of 2 hours with them in a small, crowded club/bar in the middle of a hot summer night. It might have been a Hot August Night, though I am not real sure. But you know what, it was a good first date. One where you are sort of anxious to hear their response when you do the ol' next day follow-up call.

Thats where the relationship started to get a little rocky. Feels didn't quite recreate the magic of the first date. "Maybe I'll try another," I optimistically thought. Spirit They've Gone, Spirit They've Vanished was more of the same crappy second date. We just weren't clicking like we were the first night. Sung Tongs was my last attempt. I knew people who swore by it, kind of like that cheap chinese food place that everybody goes to when they need a quick, "I'm cool cause I like cool hole in the wall places and I hope it impresses you" date. But that was it. She wasn't into Chinese food.

Needless to say I took a pass on Strawberry Jam when it came out showered with fanfare and praise. Time passed and I rarely ventured back into the Animal Collective. We would say "hi" on the street, real cordial like, but I couldn't muster up the effort to make it work much more than that. But you know how sometimes you can see the same girl in a new setting, or hear someone talk about how great she is and all of the sudden there is a new attraction? Well Merriweather Post Pavillion has done just that. I am willing to do a mid-week, buy your own lunch, catch up on "old times" date with Animal Collective again.

Here is how it went.

There she is. I wanted to get here first. Can I believe the hype?

3:52 into track 1: Is this song a remix of something? Have I heard this story before?

4:40 into track 2: Is this a G rated DIY hip-hop song made on GarageBand?

0:40 into Summertime Clothes: This is kinda cool. Some syncopated synth. I do remember a little now why I was so into her that first night.

4:46 into track 5: This is turning into annoying background noise. Why is this album any different than another Animal Collective album?

1:00 into track 8: Powering through this now. Gotta get a refill on my soda. Some nice harmonies and all, but I think if she wore a little less eye make-up it would be to her benefit.

1:41 into the last song: Why is this any better or worse than our last three attempts at making it work? Someone please help me. I am floundering. I need a good excuse to leave. Wait. Maybe I'll stay. I am kind of digging this. Maybe I am starting to see why I liked her again.

I left with just enough to listen again.
Enough for a trip to that burrito place next time you are free, my treat.

Breakfast at the Merriweather Post Pavilion (Part I)

Apparently the Merriweather Post Pavilion is an amphitheater in Maryland. Thanks, Google. For our purposes, it's also a highly praised Animal Collective album.

(Part 1 of a potentially Infinity-Part Series intended to be a running diary of our experiences listening to Animal Collective’s latest, Merriweather Post Pavilion, which has already been coronated the Best Album of 2009 by blogs and critics alike. We’lll see about that.)

In full disclosure, I am a complete Animal Collective (AC, from here on out) newbie. I know that I was supposed to have lost my mind and saliva to the sounds of Strawberry Jam or, if I were cooler, some earlier album years ago. But I didn’t. I’ve always been AC-curious, with all the hip hype and posting praises being sung. So, as part of my New Year’s Resolution to be less musically narrow, I’m jumping in.

Appropriately, my first taste of AC was the song Taste. I immediately like it. I’m not sure how the video game glitchy stuff will age for me with repeated listens, but it feels good today. In some ways, this is what I expected after reading up on AC: good, poppy melodies with texturey, sometimes crowded, active production. There’s a lot going on. No one will accuse them of minimalism. But I can appreciate the unbridled indulgence in this careful economy.

Do they get compared to the Shins a lot? I haven't loked. The voice for sure has some of the same -isms. And the melodies they choose also share the Shins’ (and to some degree New Pornographers) leanings towards undeniably hooky but rewardingly unexpected lines. It’s hooky, but not in the radio-targeted way that the hitmakers write for the Kelly Clarksons and Avril Lavignes of the world.

So far so good.

Season Shocker: T-Mac Milks Injury

This never happens. Tracy McGrady takes some time off this season due to an ailing body? Maybe he's taking a page from his new teammate Ron Artest, who- a few seasons ago- requested some time off from the Pacers to promote an album he co-produced. Either way, T-Mac's undefiled reputation as a gritty, infallible, road-tested warrior might take a hit.

Maybe while he's out he can work on his shot. Career-low 38% FG. And, while he's at it, make a push to get some of those Allure albums out of the bargain bin.

To Our Competition, From The Blazers

Dear Competing Teams in the NBA,

Don't take advantage of the mistake we made that we hoped no one would notice

A few years ago we signed a dope to a contract that was much more lucrative than he deserved. You've all been there before. Anyway, his salary still counts against our salary cap number so if anyone were to sign him to a guaranteed contract, it would come back to haunt us for the next two years. Rather than asking you nicely, which has been debated amongst the front office, we are going to issue a playground bully threat. We have no way of enforcing it really, but we are threatening to sue if you even think about it.
Let us reiterate:

Don't take advantage of the mistake we made that we hoped no one would notice and sign Darius Miles

WE have really set ourselves up to compete for multiple Championships over the next couple years and have a bunch of young guys that we are going to have to give long term contracts too. These contracts will probably also be worth more than they should be, but that is beside the point. We don't want to have to give extra lunch money to David.

The Front Office of the TrailBlazers

p.s. Don't forward this on to the Commish.

Portland to competing GMs: Don't take advantage of the mistake we made that we hoped no one would notice

Memo to Portland: You screwed up. Don't expect a competitive league to just ignore the dumb thing you did. Miles can play. Your medical clearance was bogus.

If I were the Clippers or ex-Seattle, I would sign him today just out of spite. What a lame playground threat.

There's no way you can determine why a team's signing him either. Are we all of the sudden going to ask for motive when somebody trades for some personified expiring contract with no intent of playing said player even a minute? Since when do teams have to justify their roster? And if the motive is to put Portland at a financial disadvantage, it is a smart move. Maybe a little dirty, but legal and, yes, smart.

More Headlines Than A Scowling Old Man

Mehmet Has the Last Word

We can finally put to rest the great debate of who was the best big man of the 2001 NBA Draft. Mehmet Okur got the best of Tyson Chandler again in their head to head match up.

Okur's line 20 and 7 60% FG 100% 3FG

Chandler's line 7 and 4 60% FG 0% 3FG

And Memo did that in THREE less minutes than TC6
Put down your pen Mr. Sports Writer as Memo had the last word
Let Memo be Memo and TC6 be TC6

Everything Must Go! 7 Day Sale at The Matrix

Day one of the West Coast Shawn Marion Clearance Sale started off on the right foot for the struggling retailer giant.

Marion's line 25 and 13 56% FG 2 steals in 41 minutes

Now that is how you move merchandise folks

Celtics Decide To Kick W Out Of Office Early

After setting the record for best 30 game start, the Celtics have decided to try their hand at setting the worst 30 game record. Boston just wants it all. And maybe there is a little of KG missing his time in Minnesota and trying to make it feel a little more like home in Beantown. Oh how the New Year makes us nostalgic.

On a brighter note, Ray Allen's shooting touch from the first three rounds of last year's Playoffs seems to be returning

Ray's line 4-13 FG 1-4 3FG 13 PTS

Trillion Man March Updates

Brian Scalabrine missed his opportunity at back to back Club Trillion performances by committing a foul. Good Try Anyway Brian!

Jarron Collins put up a nice 4 trillion last night.