Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Musings des Playoffés, Conference Finalés

Boston ran out of gas somewhere in the second half of Game 6 and now we have my 4 least favorite playoff teams still in it; LA, Denver, Orlando and Cleveland. Now the great mental debate is to figure out which of those teams is the lesser of the evils. I can't go with LA and even less after the Spike Lee mockumentary. Denver was winning my heart over a little with some Billups, being paired up against the Lakers, and Carmelo losing his cornrows and baby fat, but they are still the Nuggets. Orlando has the worst jerseys still in play. And Cleveland has all the hype and the overflowing bandwagon. I don't really know how to keep interest in these playoffs now. And to top it off, there are now TWO Kobe/LeBron commercials after the Nike Muppets showed up. We all know what that means. The Conference Finals are a formality.

All these things stacked against me left me looking for something to grab on to. Then it hit me, if a McCafé can make work that much better, then maybe it will make these playoffs better. So lets look at last nights game through McCafé-eyes and see if it helps.

Before the game we had the Draft Lotteré. Highlights there included the Larry Bird Face (as seen here), Stern giving the stiff arm during the pre-lottery interview, a Chris Webber we-just-got-screwed-but-I-shouldn't-have-expected-different laugh and the best was the hand shakes between the the final three.

First of all we no longer have Kobe or Nene, but Kobé and Nené. The latter was solid for three quarters and turned into a lost fourth grader in the last quarter. The former had the opposite type of game thanks to the officiating manage-a-trois.

We had a little Chauncé making some big shots. But it was only a little. Perhaps one of the most perplexing story lines of the playoffs is how the terrible Lakers PGs don't get killed every night. Sure they let Williams have some good games, but he wasn't as dominant as he should have been. Lil' Chris Rock could only torch them every other game. And shouldn't Chauncé have had 30-15?

Next we had Uglé. Formerly known as Ugly and before that he was known as Pau Gasol. He somehow had more offensive rebounds than the big, crazy Brazilian Nené. As long as the smaller Uglé is pushing around the beast of Nené, we are in for a lot more post-tip-in primal screams.

Carmelo Anthoné. Gosh he played good last night. But even with that and some McCafé I still can't do the Anthoné.

Can anyone explain to me how, when Odomé and Birdmané were spooning on the floor and Odomé was the big spoon, it could have been considered a jump ball? That was the beginning of the hosé job and a sign of things to come.

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