My Date with Washed Out

Its been nearly 18 since I last went out with Merriweather Post Pavillion. In case you forgot how that turned out, it lasted about 4 dates (the last three being very difficult and forced) and we haven't seen each other since.

This week, unsuspectedly, a new album came into my life -- the latest release by Washed Out. I will admit that the cover art caught me, struck me as a little "She Wants Revenge". The album seemed dateable, worthy of the same treatment I gave to MPP. Many folks had determined that I should love this album -- that I should think she was funny, attractive, intelligent, the whole package. So I asked her out for a long lunch, at some place nice but ot too nice. Here's how it went.


(During Eyes Be Closed)
This isn't too bad. I thought I might be more repulsed right at the beginning.

Am I that jaded by blind-hype dates?

(During Amor Fati)
If I wanted to listen to this kind of music, why wouldn't I just call up one of my old flames, The Smiths or The Cure, who are better anyway?

Actually there is a little bit of Duran Duran in here. Oh Duran Duran...I wonder if I still have her number?

(During Soft)
Fading in and out of this conversation.

Hearing more of the conversation on the table next to me than whatever she is saying. But I do think she is nice.

She at least isn't overbearing and too eccentric for her own good.

(During Far Away)
I don't know why I am thinking about Sneaker Pimps but I am. I never think about Sneaker Pimps. Is this a good sign?

I can't even remember how that Sneaker Pimps song goes...or can I? I know its something "da da da..Underground..." Is there a six in there? Six underground? Sixth Avenue? No, that's The Wallflowers. Bringing Down The Horse. I always liked that as an album title. I wonder where that album ended up. I remember leaving it in my mom's car once upon a time.

Okay Chuck, get it together. Focus a little more and give this a fair shake.

(During Before)
I'm kind of liking this now.

Don't get carried away, its not to second date status yet but there is a nice hip-hop element here. I feel like I'm am in a club on South Beach during the summer, at 3 A.M. I've never been to South Beach though. Maybe its more like being in a club on Tron, which would mean there is a chance the Tron: Legacy girl would be there. Focus. Tron isn't real. That girl is an actress. Maybe I'd run into here on South Beach.

I still can't believe the Heat lost. #$@%^ Jason Terry. Even his name makes me mad.

(During You and I)
Am I in Urban Outfitters?

(During Within and without)
I really need to focus. After all, I am paying for this date.

Wait a minute, why do I keep agreeing to things like this? I am way too cynical.

I feel like Washed Out deserves another spin just because I am so negative.

(During A Dedication)
This is exactly how I ended up on 4 dates with Merriweather Post Pavillion. I thought it I was the problem, that things didn't work out because I lacked commitment.

I don't mind this song. Its got a good lo-fi vibe going on.
Wait, its over? That was it?

I really want to go back and listen again just to make sure I didn't miss anything...even though I know I didn't miss anything.

I didn't go back and listen again. I decided to go hang out with my friends Gillian Welch and Jason Isbell. Much more rewarding. They are always good for a good time and I never end up questioning why I am with them.

Greg Oden's Free Throws Land "In The Flowers"

Down 1.
Under 5 seconds to go.
You're at the line, shooting 2.

Every player ever to pick up a basketball has dreamt of this moment.

Minus the "clank it into the roses of the Rose Garden" part. It's too bad because Oden rebounded well and had a couple blocks. Sorry, Big Greg, but on this night your Blazers land on the Merriweather Post Pavilion side of the hype continuum. The season is long and you boys still have time to Hold Steady. And, luckily, you don't have to play against a flaming Caramello every night.

910 Conversation: Northwest Division

DENVER NUGGETS

Last postseason, I found myself in a position I never thought I’d find myself: rooting for Carmelo Anthony. It surprised me, but it was really my only option once he was one of few remaining obstacles between a) Kobe and a Shaq-less ring, and b) Zenmeister and the breaking of Red Auerbach’s record. I had no choice.

Neither of us at TBC are Melo fans. We’ll be upfront about that. But neither of us are morons either. The kid can ball. He’s an all-star who can exploit almost any matchup either with the jumper, the drive or the inside game. And he has the assassin instinct. No one is saying any different here. Still, something about Melo rubs us the wrong way. And it’s not just because I’m a Jazz fan and I have intra-conference angst. I don’t like the way he carries himself. He tries to be a thug but doesn’t back it up (see: swing at a Knick then retreat). I dunno. Just can’t root for the guy.

But we’re willing to eat crow. (Ask the Kings.) Or, in this season’s case, Caramelos. Let it be written: every time one of us has to say something like “gotta hand it to Carmelo” or “I hate to say it, but that was clutch” or anything like that, we will eat a Caramelo. We’ll keep a running tally of how many Caramelos we have to eat all season as a sign that we’re willing to be wrong and admit it.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

We debated this one for awhile. Is Kevin Love the story? Is there a Ricky Rubio angle that hasn’t been leche-d a la muerte ? We liked the idea of Rambis and a clothesline, but Simmons got there first. It struck us that KG is way ahead of everybody on the T-Wolves all-time lists, to the point of being nearly untouchable. Such a young franchise with turnover like they’ve had doesn’t amass a lot of legacy. But we believe in Al Jefferson and his ability to be a legacy-type player. So, we’re tracking Al Jefferson’s ascent on the T-Wolves All-Time lists- scoring, rebounding, and whatever else he ascends. We’ll check in with who he ‘s passing. That means you, Terrell Brandon and Tom Gugliotta.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

OK, media, we get it. You love Durant. And, no, we won’t sleep on the Thunder. Don’t worry.

Who we’re worried about are those poor, swindled Seattle-ites. Having both spent some time up in the NW this season, we got in touch with the depression and angst and resignation and bitterness that the Thunder left. So we’re going to look at Levels of Depression with parallels between Sonics and Nirvana fans. What’s the equivalent of having to watch Kurt marry Courtney? Hearing the Foo Fighters borrow liberally from Tom Petty? Thinking about Krist Novalesic? Seeing animated Kurt sing Bush songs on Guitar Hero? These are our questions.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

So. Much. Hype.

So. Many. Expectations.

And to make things worse/better, Oden has shown signs of life in the always-reliable measuring stick that is the preseason.

This team is supposed to win. And supposed to win now. But will the hype hold up? We’ll gauge the Blazers’ success (and ability to live up to the never-ending buzz) on a scale that has Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion (a TBC whipping boy and, for the record, a completely overrated collection of “songs”) on the low end and The Hold Steady’s Boys And Girls In America (a TBC classic and, for the record, an album that everybody was freaking out [or backlashing against] about when it came out, only to have the hype actually not live up to the greatness of the record. So good.) on the high end. I don’t know for sure, but that would probably mean a trip to the Conference Finals at least. Ask me in the spring.

So. Much. Bolding. That bolding was disastrous, but it was either that or bold pretty much the entire paragraph.

UTAH JAZZ

Charlie T and I have given ourselves license and long leashes to talk about our favorite teams at will. No criteria. No need for any kind of objectivity whatsoever. And I am a Jazz fan. So prepare for some bias.

In Just 5 Easy Steps

Hi my name is Charlie T. and I like Andrew Bird. Hi Charlie T.

As I sit here trying to rank the songs on the Dark Was The Night compilation, I came across a track by Andrew Bird. As you all know, since I gave up on any more dates to the Merriweather Post Pavilion, I have been spend my free time with the author of the Noblest Beast thus far in 2009.

Bird is more mysterious of a creature than he should be, especially for Spike W. So folks, I am unveiling my foolproof 5 step plan to get Spike to give AB the time of day. And since verbal persuasion doesn't work I will have to leave that one off the list.

1. Make a mix CD with an Andrew Bird song or two hidden in there
I need to decide whether or not I want to include more than two AB songs. Probably not since I only get roughly 70 minutes on one disc and Spike's attention span is about 1/10th that. The songs will definitely include Fitz & Dizzyspells for the pop leanings and catchy hooks, not to mention the violin during the whistling solo. And I can't decide between Tenuosness or Oh No. They will both be a gametime decision.

2. Give the CD to Spike while having either Thai food or burritos
It never hurts to make sure the other party has a full stomach when persuading them. Thats how Jermaine O'Neal got Larry Legend to give him that ridiculous contract which the Heat are now saddled with. The difference is Spike's stomach won't be full of strip club hot wings and Andrew Bird is not highway robbery.

3. Talk of The Giant Of Illinois; could be referring to the current US president, Air Jordan, Tweedy & Co. or the Bird track on DWTN.
This is the step where I relentlessly mention Bird's collaboration with Wilco durning many of their live shows and how its not a coincidence that the consistently choose him. I will also put a Glenn Kotche song on the afore mentioned mixtapecd to get Spike excited about the reality of Mr. Kotche's solo/collaboration work.

4. Ask about the highlights of the mix CD
You always follow up. There has to be accountability. Not sure how this will make him listen but it will sure as heck make him accountable. Until he becomes calloused to saying "No, I haven't yet" a la Baron Davis to his personal trainer when she asks about his home workout routine.

5. Make references to Jon Brion, whom is named in the liner notes
Spike is a JB lifer. I am hoping this sweet spot, as the last resort, can be the gateway drug.

So this is my plan. I would love for Spike to just go to a show, which was my gateway drug. Now I am all over the Birdman like Gilbert Arenas is all over knee surgeries.

Which Is She; Noble Beast or Useless Creature?

So my dates at the Merriweather Post Pavilion didn't work out so well. I was trying too hard to make something out of nothing, to get past the coughing fits so I could feel cool while I smoked,

In retrospect, another lesson learned is that one must decide early on whether you are pursuing a Noble Beast or a Useless Creature. (These are the names of the new Andrew Bird discs, the former being the actual record and the latter being instrumental...segue to follow) Meaning one must look through the hype, past the posturing and around the makeup to figure out what you are sharing dinner with. Noble Beasts or Useless Creatures. Now I don't think there are dates who are truly useless, but there are situations that make the useless to you. Its just not your time for them, or their time for you...or for anyone else. Noble Beasts are multi-faceted. They give you something to come back to time and again. Hooks, melodies, harmonies, lyrics, layers. They are ready for you and you for them.

Segue to Andrew Bird. I once drove 5 hours to a Josh Ritter concert, the which Andrew Bird also played. I new some of Armchair Apocrypha so it wasn't a complete surprise. But it was a complete surprise. A rather eccentric performer he was and it was a breath of fresh air to me. (but to be honest got old after an hour and a half, but probably because I was pining for Mr. Ritter) But I left sold on the product, but not quite enough to become the president of the fan club.

I did buy the new album. And I bought it the morning of my gym date. Maybe this is like wanting to ask out the waitress, or at least making eyes at her, while you are on a date. Maybe I doomed the gym date from the start, but maybe it was dead before the ship even sailed. Either way the Merriweather Post Pavilion has proved to be a Useless Creature to me and Noble Beast is just that.

There is something new every time I come back to it. I remember songs from the live performance. That brings back good memories. Most importantly I don't have to talk myself into it, and I certainly don't hover over it on iTunes debating as to whether or not I want to try and make it work.

I am not going to try and talk you into Noble Beast, because it will come when you need it. But if you find yourself wasting your time elsewhere, it might be time to give up the useless creatures.

Taking A Break From The Merriweather Post Pavilion

Gym Date did not work out so well for the Merriweather Post Pavilion.

First off it showed up in a baggy sweatsuit. Really? Thats how you were going to get my attention? I get the feeling you were trying to hide something from me. Like a little bit of a pudgy stomach.

Then there was the whole, "I'm gonna go sit down over there until your done" routine halfway through. That was where I just about dialed up The Hold Steady to take me hope during a little time with the weights.

Lesson learned from my dates at the Merriweather Post Pavilion? If all you can think about is "I bet the new Andrew Bird is good" or "How much longer until the new M. Ward" or even "April isn't too far away, thats when the Hold Steady live album and DVD comes out" everytime you bring up the Merriweather Post Pavilion on iTunes, then you are probably not going to like it anyway. You're just not that into it.

I thought the undivided attention it would be getting would be enough for it to stick around and maybe start to turn into something. Nope.

The (Forthcoming) Gym Date

I didn't make any effort for a return appointment after the burrito lunch date with the Animal Collective at the Merriweather Post Pavilion. I frankly just wasn't that into it despite a few highlights that were pretty much the same highlights as the first date.

What do you do when a relationship, after just a couple early and uneventful dates, is stuck in neutral? You don't call her for a week, wait and see what kind of effort she puts forth and then you invite her to The Gym Date. The Gym Date isn't a chance to show off your jump shot which probably isn't that impressive anyway. And its not a chance to show off your guns, which are definitely not that impressive. The Gym Date is all about finding something in her worth hanging on too.

The Gym Date is a secret weapon of dates. It will be productive no matter how bad the date is and here is why.

1. You will get to see her in work out clothes.
Those usually consist of short running shorts and some t-shirt that is too small. And if you don't get the too small tee, you will almost certainly get the tank top.

2. You get to see her in work out clothes.
It is like the boating date, where you get the swimming suit, but isn't interpreted as "He just wants to check out my body."

3. The gym is a character revealer.
Is she a hard worker? Does she know her way around? (meaning has she been there before) Is she competitive? (Not always a bad thing) You get some good undivided attention that doesn't involve her telling you the same stories about her roommate. She will also be wearing little to no make-up which means there are no more secrets.
this part of the Gym Date saved Dear Science by TV On The Radio from being discounted by me. A few tracks in on the indoor running track and I had forgotten why I was ever down on it

4. You aren't committed do to anything afterwards
The gym date usually starts with both arriving on their own and ends with both leaving on their own. This means the price of the date is nothing. And no dinner is involved since nobody wants to reveal that they go home and eat ice cream after working out. It also means it can be the start of friend zone with out anyone knowing.

5. You get to see her in work out clothes
Come on, this is really the only reason for the gym date.

6. 2 for 1
Its a mid-week date that also knocks out a trip to the gym, freeing up an evening.

So its set. The Animal Collective and I will be going on a Gym Date to the Merriweather Post Pavilion. I hope for their sake this trick works. You know after about ten minutes at the gym whether or not its going to go anywhere.

(Stay off the bikes if at any cost...)

Growing A Beard Like A SubPop Hobbit at the Merriweather Post Pavilion

Fleet Foxes are apparently taking time out of their busy beard-growing/hype-receiving schedule to get all giddy about Animal Collective's new album.


Hype begets hype, I suppose. So here we go, with Fleet Foxes starting what could inevitably swell into a bona fide gushfest between last year's near unanimous winners of Hyped Album of the Year and this year's (early, folks, early) frontrunner.

It makes sense, though, that the Vulpes Fleetus would hop on the AC train, as it is a collective of animals.

I Just Got Txtd re: Merriweather Post Pavilion

Once (or twice) upon a time, I broke up with a girl. It was never pretty, though she almost always was. I had all the post-breakup regret that comes with knowing it's over but wishing it wasn't. Suddenly, people start talking, sometimes to you, sometimes around you. You can't stop hearing about it. It's like you're on Gossip Girl and you're getting texted all sorts of stuff that just rubs it in, kills you, and annoys you all at once.

So it goes with Merriweather Post Pavilion.

Here I am, having decided that me and Animal Collective needed some space, some time. And all of the sudden the interweb won't shut up. I THOUGHT YOU HAD ALREADY REACHED THE PRAISE CEILING, INTERWEB! But no...

STEREOGUM doesn't even try to veil its love. Sure, it shines it all with irony and wit, but the love is untethered.

Not to be outdone (or undersaturate-y), Pitchfork pours it on with a fullblown interview. What's wrong with me that I couldn't even get to the second paragraph without totally checking out? Was it the sycophantic-Art-Thou-The-Savior leanings of the interviewee? Couldn't be. BECAUSE THE INTERVIEW HADN'T EVEN STARTED YET. (Sorry about the all-caps today. I need help.)

Even Aquarium Drunkard gets in on the Age of Aquarius-style lovefest? What happened, AD? You were my mainstay of roots, vintage R&B, gritty folk, and more? Even you fell for the charms of MPP? Sigh. What's wrong with me.

I know we need space, MPP. I think the only reason this even kind of gets under my skin is that, for reasons just like these, I let The Arcade Fire, The National, and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah slip through my ever-loving fingers. I really want this to work out, but- my knee jerk reaction to all the hype- is to let you go to the lovers who'll fawn over you.

Maybe we can catch up later this week?

Lunch Date at the Merriweather Post Pavilion

I picked up the phone a few times this week to go get that afore mentioned lunch burrito with the Animal Collective at the Merriweather Post Pavilion. It must have been at least four separate occasions before I decided that I would be a man of my word.

Burritos it is.

I am assuming there was some catching up that we did for the first three tracks, but I was a bit more worried about the conversation of the people in line in front of us, whether or not I was going to go with the carnitas or the spicy pork, and wondering if I had enough punches on my card for a free one.

Around Summertime Clothes, I started to get back into it a little. The opening beats on that song seem to really grab my attention every time. Maybe there is going to be something here after all.

By the time Daily Routine starts I am tuning out again. This burrito could have been mixed a little better. That bite was all salsa and the last bite was all cheese. I hope its not all this way. Maybe I can rotate it a little and get a better mix.

Don't you sometimes wish you could "skip tracks" on first, second and third dates? Like the parts when the other person starts talking about past relationships or the "I'll go wherever, you decide" car rides or when they see someone they know and haven't seen in forever. Thats where I am at with Bluish

Doing a little self reflection now. Am I really all the things that are inside of me?

As I was finishing the burrito, I started to wonder why I was making such an effort. I remembered that "some other people said she was hot" and that "we had a good time once" but couldn't really figure out why either of those things mattered. I had a good time once at Boy Scout camp and only went because my friends said it would be cool, but I would never go back now.

Just then Brothersport came on. It kind of has an african tribal singing part going on at the first, kind of like the opening song on Lion King. I can get into this. Dang it. This is what happened last date. It ended with this song and made me want to do it again because I was thinking the whole thing would be this fun.

Once again I left feeling upbeat about the whole thing. Isn't this how abusive relationships start?

Maybe I'll Text The Merriweather Post Pavilion

So...I had breakfast with the MPP. It was a good little date- impressive, creative, quirky, new. All the little idiosyncracies that usually play on a loop in my mind after a good date. But here's the catch:

I could never really bring myself to make the follow-up call. I pull up iTunes, scroll around, and end up listening to something else.

MPP, I had a really great time. I don't want you to think I didn't. For whatever reason, I just sorta got busy. But I want you to know I'm thinking of you. I don't want to close the door. So maybe I can just punch a few digits on my phone, not a call just yet, but just enough to keep me in your picture, and you in mine. So (punch, punch, punch):

Hey! How r u? Would luv 2 catch up.

First Date at the Merriweather Post Pavillion

Two years ago I decided to go on a blind date with the Animal Collective. The date consisted of 2 hours with them in a small, crowded club/bar in the middle of a hot summer night. It might have been a Hot August Night, though I am not real sure. But you know what, it was a good first date. One where you are sort of anxious to hear their response when you do the ol' next day follow-up call.

Thats where the relationship started to get a little rocky. Feels didn't quite recreate the magic of the first date. "Maybe I'll try another," I optimistically thought. Spirit They've Gone, Spirit They've Vanished was more of the same crappy second date. We just weren't clicking like we were the first night. Sung Tongs was my last attempt. I knew people who swore by it, kind of like that cheap chinese food place that everybody goes to when they need a quick, "I'm cool cause I like cool hole in the wall places and I hope it impresses you" date. But that was it. She wasn't into Chinese food.

Needless to say I took a pass on Strawberry Jam when it came out showered with fanfare and praise. Time passed and I rarely ventured back into the Animal Collective. We would say "hi" on the street, real cordial like, but I couldn't muster up the effort to make it work much more than that. But you know how sometimes you can see the same girl in a new setting, or hear someone talk about how great she is and all of the sudden there is a new attraction? Well Merriweather Post Pavillion has done just that. I am willing to do a mid-week, buy your own lunch, catch up on "old times" date with Animal Collective again.

Here is how it went.

There she is. I wanted to get here first. Can I believe the hype?

3:52 into track 1: Is this song a remix of something? Have I heard this story before?

4:40 into track 2: Is this a G rated DIY hip-hop song made on GarageBand?

0:40 into Summertime Clothes: This is kinda cool. Some syncopated synth. I do remember a little now why I was so into her that first night.

4:46 into track 5: This is turning into annoying background noise. Why is this album any different than another Animal Collective album?

1:00 into track 8: Powering through this now. Gotta get a refill on my soda. Some nice harmonies and all, but I think if she wore a little less eye make-up it would be to her benefit.

1:41 into the last song: Why is this any better or worse than our last three attempts at making it work? Someone please help me. I am floundering. I need a good excuse to leave. Wait. Maybe I'll stay. I am kind of digging this. Maybe I am starting to see why I liked her again.

I left with just enough to listen again.
Enough for a trip to that burrito place next time you are free, my treat.

Breakfast at the Merriweather Post Pavilion (Part I)

Apparently the Merriweather Post Pavilion is an amphitheater in Maryland. Thanks, Google. For our purposes, it's also a highly praised Animal Collective album.

(Part 1 of a potentially Infinity-Part Series intended to be a running diary of our experiences listening to Animal Collective’s latest, Merriweather Post Pavilion, which has already been coronated the Best Album of 2009 by blogs and critics alike. We’lll see about that.)

In full disclosure, I am a complete Animal Collective (AC, from here on out) newbie. I know that I was supposed to have lost my mind and saliva to the sounds of Strawberry Jam or, if I were cooler, some earlier album years ago. But I didn’t. I’ve always been AC-curious, with all the hip hype and posting praises being sung. So, as part of my New Year’s Resolution to be less musically narrow, I’m jumping in.

Appropriately, my first taste of AC was the song Taste. I immediately like it. I’m not sure how the video game glitchy stuff will age for me with repeated listens, but it feels good today. In some ways, this is what I expected after reading up on AC: good, poppy melodies with texturey, sometimes crowded, active production. There’s a lot going on. No one will accuse them of minimalism. But I can appreciate the unbridled indulgence in this careful economy.

Do they get compared to the Shins a lot? I haven't loked. The voice for sure has some of the same -isms. And the melodies they choose also share the Shins’ (and to some degree New Pornographers) leanings towards undeniably hooky but rewardingly unexpected lines. It’s hooky, but not in the radio-targeted way that the hitmakers write for the Kelly Clarksons and Avril Lavignes of the world.

So far so good.