Just a Jimmer Away

On the heels of Spike's Sloan/Williams post-mortem, a discussion of the future of the Jazz sparked. Its a little known fact the the Jazz will likely have two lottery picks in this summer's NBA draft. The jokes have been pouring in about which white stiff the Jazz will draft or if they'll take Jimmer just to put butts in the seats. I personally think they are going to build around Gordon Hayward, flanking him with both Jimmer and Kyle Singler Spike's rebuttal to all the jokes turned out to be a very interesting observation about team building approaches. Here is a running dialogue of our Basketball Reference navigating and amatuer analysis.

5:25:36 PM Spike: I don't want to get my hopes up about winning the lottery, besides the Jazz are better at late draft picks anyway.
Maynor at #20 in the first
Millsap at #47 in the second
Ronnie Brewer at #14 in the first
CJ at #34 in the second
Mo Williams at #47 in the second
Kris Humphries at #14 in the first
Jarron Collins (yeah, I know, but still in the league) at #48 in the second
AK at #24 in the first
Padgett at #28 in the first
Nazr Mohammad at #29 in the first
Jacque Vaughn at #27 in the first
Shandon Anderson at #54 in the second
Bryon Bussell at #45 in the second
Dell Curry at #15 in the first
Mark Eaton at # 72 the same year as Dominique
Bobby Hansen at #54
Wes Matthews undrafted
And lest we forget, Malone at #13 and Stockton at #16.

5:42:49 PM Charlie T: Very interesting to say the least. Maybe the Jazz need to trade down. I would like to say that Miami has had the same draft success as Utah, but thats not the case. At least during Riley's tenure.
Eddie House at #37 in the second
Caron Butler at #10 in the first
Wade at #5 in the first
Mike Beasley at #2 in the first
Glen Rice at #4 in the first
Sherman Douglas at #28 in the first
Steve Smith at #5 in the first
Harold Miner at #12 in the first (was good for a dunk contest and the first "next Jordan" torchbearer)
Matt Geiger at #42 the same year had a longer career
Kurt Thomas at #10 in the first

5:46:27 PM Spike: Seems like Miami is really pretty good (minus Beasley) of knowing which lottery type players to get, but their late round picks are iffier.

5:46:42 PM Charlie T: Yeah...high picks they do great at but with second rounders and late firsts, they find no value.

5:49:56 PM Spike: Talent evaluation has a lot of different approaches, I suppose.

5:50:05 PM Charlie T: Sure. Riley has always looked at picks as assets more than anything, assets to trade.

5:51:22 PM Spike: It would be interesting to see how LA drafted when he was there, same with the Knicks. In Miami, he seems to gravitate towards bringing in proven commoditites.
From 81 to 90 w/ the Lakers, the only real keepers from the draft were:
Nobody in 81
Worthy as the #1 in 82 (no brainer, he does well with high picks)
Nobody in 83
Nobody in 84
AC Green at #23 in 85
Nobody in 86-87
David Rivers at #35 in 88, but he was nothing
Divac in 89
Elden Campbell in 90

5:57:04 PM Charlie T: Riley from 91-95 with the Knicks:
Greg Anthony in 91
Hubert Davis in 92
Charlie Ward and Monty Williams in 94
And he only drafted 4 players over all during his time there. No picks in 93 or 95

5:58:02 PM Spike: Everybody else was added to those teams some other way.

6:00:01 PM Charlie T: So really, Riley's offseason this year was a microcosm of his history of putting teams together. Ship off anything that isn't proven and make room for the other pieces.

6:02:17 PM Spike: Exactly. 95-96 in Miami, he cleans house after losing to the Zenmaster in Chicago and brings in Zo, Hardaway, PJ Brown, and Majerle.

6:03:12 PM Charlie T: He had Juwon Howard signed the next year but the league vetoed the contract.

6:03:49 PM Spike: Then in 2004 he traded assets Butler, Grant, and Odom for Shaq. Then added Payton, Williams, and Walker.

6:04:40 PM Charlie T: With the Knicks it was a little different. He had Ewing to build around so some of the pieces were more complimentary, and also designed to beat MJ in Chicago.

6:05:56 PM Spike: 92-93: traded Mark Jackson for Doc Rivers, Charles Smith, Bo Kimble and picked up Rolando Blackman and Anthony Mason. Started turning Starks into a defensive stopper.
93-94: Acquired Derek Harper

6:07:15 PM Charlie T: Thats Riley. Always making big moves, with the summer of LeBron being no exception. We shouldn't have been surprised that he came away with a haul. Where as the Jazz are aquiring the assets they are used to using for rebuilding.

6:08:26 PM Spike: Fascinating. I'm sure this pattern exists with a lot of other franchises as well, but its interesting to see how it continues to manifest itself in Utah and Miami.

What A Short Strange Trip It's Been

PRELIMINARY NOTE:

This is not an edited post. It's not even thought out, at all. I will be vomiting thoughts, thoughts that I may deny before posting, thoughts that I may only half believe. But I've digested for long enough that I thought it might be nice– even just for my own mental health– to purge.

A lot has changed in the relatively short time since my last post about The Utah Jazz.

Back then, we had Hall of Famer Jerry Sloan and All-Star Deron Williams. Now we have Ty Corbin, Devin Harris, rookie Derrick Favors, and some off-year first round draft picks. Even after that notorious Bulls game, I was sticking with D-Will. I was loyal. Hearing later, from a very inside source (like, IN the locker room inside source), that Sloan leaving was "100% Williams" couldn't completely sour me on the guy. Even now, watching him dig in with the Nets (and improve his hair situation!) makes me pretty sad. But I guess he had to go. He wasn't staying.

Now what?

Injuries. Mehmet Okur played, what, a fittingly lucky 13 games for the Jazz this year and was finally relegated to Out For The Season status last week. Memo is no MVP, but he changes the lane and the opposing defense quite a bit. And this might seem way out in left field for those of you who think he's a slow white bomber, but I think he's an underrated, gutsy defender. There, I said it. He's no Bill Russell, but he's no matador either (ahem, Boozer...Amare...). And Memo is just one of many recurring, cursed injuries. Every team has them, but this year has seemed especially injurious to me.

Corbin. Give the guy some time. I don't love what's happening, but I don't know that it's his fault. I know there were some players who said that Corbin had plays that Sloan wasn't incorporating into the game plan, but it's hard for me to think that Sloan wouldn't have won more games with this lineup. That's the curse of following up a hard-working, blue collar, tenacious legend, Ty. Get used to it. Jazz fans will give you time and support, but the Statues are always there.

Sloan. There is absolutely nothing I can say about Jerry Sloan here. He coached the team for most of my life, ever since I cared about basketball. When kids were calling for his head and wanting "new basketball" to start in Utah, I defended him and called them idiots (still do). The guy deserved better. He is one of four people in the history of the Jazz that stand above the rest– two of the others are legendary players and the fourth is an owner who kept the Jazz in Utah. I'm rambling a lot for a guy who has nothing to say, but still, there's nothing I can say about Sloan that his history of old school grit and toughness and heart don't already show you.

The New Jazz. This is a new era, no doubt about it. We are rebuilding. The Nuggets left their trade with new life and playoff hopes. We left ours with a ton of question marks. But, while the trade made me mad (i have since come to peace with it) and I'll never really think that Sloan left like he should've and the initial games were hard to watch just from an emotional standpoint, I am still a Jazz fan. I love watching this team, even with the hard losses. I enjoy this team much like the early AK-47 years– getting to see rooks like Hayward, Favors, and even Jeremy Evans start to get the pro game, getting to see a PG like Harris start to find footing with this team and this crowd, still loving the heart that guys like Milsap show, the mutant martian that AK is, and the beast (and leader) that Al Jefferson has become. These storylines, yes, have to temporarily take the place of winning. Winning just isn't happening right now. But what is sportsfandom if you're only EVER winning? Then you're a Lakers fan. And we all know how douchey and bandwagony that is. Though, you do save a lot of time only having to watch 2 quarters of basketball per game.

I Can't Quit You

Spike has been trying to be angry at Deron Williams. His moratorium on all things NBA (including this blog) has been impressive and consistent, but it turns out that its all a rouse. He was outed Monday night in the highlights of the Nets/Celtics game celebrating a big 3-pointer by D-Will in the 4th quarter. (He's the one in the red and white striped polo)

Jazz vs Jazz East Roundup

Just some thoughts about last night's Jazz vs Jazz East (or Bulls, as some might call them) game:

I STILL DON'T MISS BOOZER

I'm not going to overstate it and tell you that the inspired performances by Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap (who was especially gritty and teethy at the start) are proof positive that we're better off without Boozer. That's what the local media is for. I realize that it's one game and you can't get too hot or cold on one game. And I realize that, if you get really statty about it, neither Jefferson nor Millsap is necessarily out-statting Boozer either this year or when he was with the Jazz. And of course there are other factors, but...I don't miss his lack of heart at all. Compare Boozer's limp showing last night to LeBron returning to Ohio. Anyone with even a little heart would really wanna show up in a game like last night. But Boozer just continues to punch the clock. And Millsap continued to show why his game and heart are endearing and 1000x better for the team than a guy who puts up good numbers with no heart. ESPN's headline "Boozer Helps Bulls Beat Old Team" is true in the same way that "(Insert Any Non Crucial Player On Bulls) Helps Bulls Beat Jazz" is.

I STILL LOVE ANDREI KIRILENKO

OK. He's overpaid. That's old news. And he probably hasn't worked like a guy making Alpha Dog money should. But, even while watching him gun ill-advised airballs last night, I found myself loving the guy. Great passer. Unusual herky jerkiness that makes him hard to guard (if not occasionally hard to watch). FOUR blocks, most of them on Boozer. Steals. Basically, and I have said this a million times, he is not the best player on the floor ever, but he is a completely unique player, whose skillset is unseen in any other one player. He may leave us for a team that's a better fit, but I'll always have a soft spot for the Russian headcase.

I STILL WOULDN'T TRADE D-WILL FOR D-ROSE

But I'm willing to admit that, at least last night, Rose is the better PG. He's quick, almost impossible to stay in front of, and does so much– distribution, rebounding, tough D, running the O. Granted, D-Will's not 100% healthy with his jacked wrist, especially shooting-wise. But Rose had his way (as he does with every team and, probably, every elite guard), got to the hole, distributed, etc. It's hard to say, but I'd put Rose above Williams on the depth chart for now. I don't think D-Will will play that poorly against Rose again, though. And I'm a loyalist, so I'm sticking with my guy. They're close and I don't doubt D-Will's fire, heart, or ability. He's not gonna sit around and let the other dudes run the league. And, like I said with Boozer/Millsap/Jefferson, let's not use one game to make big blanket statements.

I STILL MISS SOMEONE

He showed us a few times last night that he still doesn't have an outside shot. But I still miss Ronnie Brewer. The missed shots and the clutch steal are RB in a nutshell. Maybe we get a little of that with CJ Miles, but (and I like CJ) Brewer seemed to just go out and get the job done, where CJ seems to need more encouragement and swagger and momentum. I guess I miss Ashton Kutcher, but I know as well as Bulls fans that for every clutch shot like last night's, there are plenty of moments where you think, "But...I thought Korver was supposed to be money..." as the losing buzzer sounds.

I STILL BELIEVE

I'm probably alone in believing in guys like Hayward and Fesenko, who show me just enough to believe they can be differencemakers (not all-stars, probably not even starters). What's wrong with being fans of Lifetime 8th Men? Hayward showed some grit and Fesenko doesn't seem to know how to back down (when properly motivated).

Offseason Notes NOT Having To Do With The Douchecision

Some offseason notes:

– I am taking a little too much pleasure in watching the douchiness of T-Mac manifest itself this offseason. The Utah Bulls, er, Chicago Jazz, er, Chicago Bulls had a private workout with His WashedUpNess this week and, to hear Tracy talk about it, the Bulls front office was licking its chops about stumbling onto such an under-the-radar catch. These quotes encapsulate the magic dust he's sprinkling around. “Without me, without Boozer, they’re a .500 ball club,” McGrady said. Wow. Any quote that makes me defensive of Carlos Boozer deserves bold italics and a few extra vacation days. I can't wait til the Clippers sign him.

– In a related note, this is a fun offseason for Former Insanely Talented Alphas like AI and Shaq. The fact that some team is going to have to talk themselves into one of the game's top 2 or 3 most dominant centers ever (not anymore but still. Kareem got contracts when he could barely John McCain his goggles.) is a little sad to me. The bright side is: Pros vs Joes is always looked for some extra legitimacy and the combined MVPs, points, and NBA Finals appearances are legit.

– Also, The Utah Bulls. What the Bulls front office, in picking up Boozer & Korver & Brewer (who I miss the most, in spite of his complete inability to hit a jumper), is saying is: we believe Rose > Deron Williams. They are assembling, essentially, the same cast around Rose as Williams had. Now, Chicago fans, let's not carried away about Joakim Noah. Yes, I would take him on my team. No, he is not an elite big man. He and Memo Okur (who has one more all-star appearance than Noah) essentially cancel each other out, though I'm willing to admit that Noah's hustle is a plus. Luol Deng? A wild card of the same type as, oh, Andrei Kirilenko. Everybody KNOWS he's good. But what are you getting from him game to game, month to month? I think it's very interesting that the Bulls believe in the '08 Jazz that much. I did too, though, so I can't really hold it against them.

– The Laker Upgrade. Miami gets the most ink. But the defending champs upgraded, in my opinion, to an insane degree. A tough, mix-it-up guy who can knock down equal amounts of superstars & shots in Matt Barnes. A PG upgrade (though the WNBA has a handful of PGs who would be an improvement over Farmar) in Steve Blake. And some more size (as if they were lacking) in Theo Ratliff, who- for the sake of this bullet point- I talked myself into. Still the team to beat.

– Chris Paul. Wah. You're an amazing talent stuck on a team in transition. Your friends are all teaming up to try to gang their way to rings. You also signed a contract. I'm sure there's a gun to your head everytime you cash those million-dollar checks. Sack up. Whiny multimillionaire athletes kill me.

– The Jazz, to avoid D-Will pulling a Kobe/Chris Paul, have made some moves– Jefferson, Bell, Hayward. They aren't Miami-level or Steal Gasol For Nothing level, but they are decent. As a Jazz fan, I'm happy to see something happen that includes Boozer taking his talents/attitude/entitlement elsewhere and guys who want to kill themselves for D-Will onto the court. Hearing D-Will tell Jefferson he's gonna make him an All-Star made me really happy.

– Portland can suck it. Just because their "top tier, first round" talent can't stay healthy or perform up to par doesn't mean they should come pillage the hard-working, smartly drafted talent that the Jazz pick up (see also: Paul Milsap). Wes Matthews is a total stud and I worshipped his hard work in his rookie season. But it makes me sad that he's gonna get a ton of money to fight for bench minutes on a team whose best hopes are an injury prone elderly man still trying to have a rookie season and landing unhappy Chris Paul. This quote from Kevin O'Connor was money: "(Fesenko's) next on the agenda. (We'll) go from there, see what happens, see if Portland has any more money left."

Likert Scale

The Austin City Limits with the Swell Season was on again this last weekend. During their set, they invited out celebrated Austinite Daniel Johnston to sing "Life In Vain" with them. I was taken back to when I saw Daniel Johnston perform for the first time, but this time I understood something new about him. One of the great things about his live performances is that there is an overwhelming sense of positive energy in the room. What this energy stems from is the collective support for him, the desire of everyone in the room for him to succeed. That is something we rarely experience. Even in the best concerts there seems to be a group of people who are upset, wishing they were else where, fault-finding, or looking to score. All of these produce some sort of negative vibe. The absence of that vibe is what made the Daniel Johnston show so unique and you could even feel that vibe on TV.

I wanted to try and work this into some post-NBA Finals angle where I talked about how unlikeable Kobe, Pau, Fisher and the rest of the Lakers are...but you already know that. Then I thought about mentioning the Jazz and how there are at least 3 stiff white guys that they like in the draft this year. Too easy. Maybe something about liking the Heat's chances to get Dwyane Wade a real teammate? I don't want to jinx it. Suffice it to say, there are a lot of things worth liking out there, but the Swell Season performance with Daniel Johnston has to be right at the top of that list.

Dragon Slaying

The Lakers, Spurs, Blazers, Nuggets, Jazz, Suns and Mavs have all been staples of the Western Conference playoffs the last decade or so. This lack of diversity in the Playoff gene pool has led to some great playoff games, great meltdowns and a great set up for this year. The late 90's proved to be the same kind of scenario in the Eastern Conference with the Knicks, Bulls, Pacers, and Heat. Coming from those series were a number of great Jordan moments, Reggie's theatrics and heroics versus the Knicks, and the Playoffs best announcer, Jeff Van Gundy, clinging to Alonzo Mourning's leg. It seemed that every year a Heat/Knicks matchup was inevitable, because it was. From 1997-2000, they met every year in the Playoffs and played the maximum number of games each series, with the clinching game of the series being decided in the closing moments of the game. Miami only beat the Knicks in one of those four series, the first one in 1997. After that, the Knicks became Miami's dragon; the naturally sworn enemy and inevitable matchup for the Heat, a matchup they could never overcome.

The Heat went through another stretch, although much shorter and less dramatic, when a matchup with the Detroit Pistons seemed destined every year. This may have had more to do with the Pistons versus Shaquille O'Neal (dating back to their upset of the Shaq/Malone/Kobe Lakers), but it was the Heat's dragon to slay if they wanted to win a championship. This year, the west is full of such destined matchups. Mavs/Spurs. Jazz/Nuggets. Suns/Spurs. Jazz/Lakers (potential). Suns/Lakers (potential). Lakers/Spurs (potential). Jazz/Spurs (potential). Its almost a paper/rock/scissors set up. Spurs own the Suns, Lakers own the Jazz, Spurs own the Lakers, Lakers own the Suns, and for the sake of the analogy lets just say the Jazz own the Suns. Each team seems to have a date with destiny, a passage though fire, or any other cliched hero/dating reference. Somebody is going to have to slay their team's figurative dragon.

Who wins in all this melee? We do. The way the first round has gone, we can almost assume that round two will be turned up to 11. I'm still hoping that Kevin Durant walks on water for the next two games of the Lakers/Thunder series, but if not it doesn't mean that the best basketball is behind us. Rather, its yet to come.

TeeMak Reinvents The Postage Stamp

I went to the Jazz/Knicks game the other night and, besides being underwhelmed by the Jazz's nonexistent Blood In The Water instinct, I was completely floored by a player I didn't think I could like less.

Tracy McGrady, you are a being of miraculous ways. There I was, thinking I despised you at the very peak of my despise-ation. And you, with your loafing indifference and half-assed shrugs (I mean, MAN, who shrugs half-assedly? A shrug is, by definition, half-ass!), cleared the clouds away, revealing yet ANOTHER PEAK OF DESPISE-ATION. Plaudits, Tracy.

In any other job, you would be fired. And your severance package would stink because your employer would have just cause. You clearly don't give a crap. You couldn't defend a mime in a fake box. And wouldn't even try. For millions upon millions of dollars. Ask the average American what they would do for just ONE million dollars.

Take a charge every night for 82 nights? Absolutely.
Run myself to exhaustion everyday for a full calendar year? No question.
Live in NYC and play basketball? Wait. YOU are paying ME?

You talented, lazy prince of the coast. Only in the unreality world of the NBA and its ridiculous contracts can you get away with such garbage. No wonder Houston sat on you until they could ship you to somebody who "wanted" you. Frankly, I'm amazed D'Antoni even bothers. He's shown no aversion to sitting purported "studs." (And let's get this out of the way now: you are no longer a stud. You may have been a star. Moronic voters may have been deluded enough to nearly vote you into an all-star position. But you are done. Cooked.)

Would I be so abrasive if you tried? No. I respect guys whose knees have quit but whose hearts refuse to. I respect guys whose grit outweighs their talent. I respect guys whose effort nods to the fact that they're blessed to get to go do for a living what the rest of us carve time out of our pathetic lives to do for FUN.

I hereby take away from your cousin Vince the moniker of The Postage Stamp. Your revolutionary approach to mailing it in has shamed him. Congratulations. I'll even capitalize the "T" in PosTage Stamp for you. Since I know you'd be too lazy to do it yourself.

PS: Thanks for the draft pick.

Mavs Hand Knicks Worst MSG Loss Ever

As a Jazz fan, can I just add my $.02 that a 50-point home loss really should count as two?

Spurned

If we were going to track the workmanlike predictability and consistency of the Spurs (like we said in our ambitious 910 Preview), then last night would be a big red (or in the Jazz's throwback case, green and yellow) anomaly.

Why?

During Pop's tenure, the Jazz had never swept the season series with the Spurs. Never. In fact, November's win at San Antonio was the first Jazz@Spurs win in, what, forever?

But there it was. Compliments of double doubles by D-Will and Boozer. Compliments of a big all-around (especially on offense) game by Kirilenko. And gutsy play by the benchguys- Milsap, even my love/hate whipping boy Ronnie Price. And maybe compliments of some reffing that seemed- even to a Jazz fan- to be out for Timmy's scalp like he were a nazi and the refs were the Basterds. He must've done his trademark Wide Eyed Glare one too many times.

What else was anomalous? (Is that a word? Do I care? Do you get what I'm getting at? OK.)

Duncan denied a milestone. One of the most consistent, come-through players of all time. And he stopped one short of the point milestone.

What I love about Duncan: he didn't care at all about it. He would've been embarrassed by any stoppage of play, any confetti or recognition; even postgame questions would've been an annoyance. He just wanted the W. And that's why he's one of (if not THE) greatest PF in history.

Wow. And to think I'm a Jazz fan.

GAINES!!!

D Will goes down.

LeBron goes off.

Boozer fouls out.

Candance Parker's brother misses.

Korver hits from behind the glass.

Candance Parker's brother misses again.

Z misses one too.

And then:

Korver is covered.

Memo is too.

Ronnie Price (who has a well-documented love for shooting when the clock winds down) too.

Gaines hits the first 3-pointer of his NBA career.

GAINES HITS IT!

Incredible game.

The NBA. Where 10-Day Contracts Happen.

Jazz Beat Heat

or

Utah turns down the Heat

or

Miami wades to road loss

or

Miami wades unsuccessfully through Utah winter

or

Boozer's try out goes well

or

Charlie T's team loses to Spike's team

or

Charlie T looks at flying buttresses while favorite team gets flying buttresses kicked

or

Heat go cold vs Jazz

or

Heat glad to go home to warm Miami

Nettes v Jazz

Some storylines going into tonight's Jazz @ Nettes game:

The Road
The Jazz have to ask themselves: "Will this be more like Willie Nelson's road or Cormac McCarthy's road?" A pretty lousy road team lately, the Jazz will find out which way- Willie or Cormac- this trip's gonna go tonight. Atlanta/Charlotte*/Miami/Orlando. The teams only get tougher after the turnpike.

2 going on 3
The Jazz boosted the Kryptowolves from two to four W's. The Nettes are understandably rooting for a bump (some psychologists would say all women are, deep down, wishing for a bump) from the Jazz. And let's just say the Jazz should take all precautions to keep from making Jersey the babymama of another little L.

Lack of Estrogen
The Jazz are notably lacking in feminine (or even androgynous) names- Ronnie being as close as it gets. Some of the names could be morphed a bit, if that will help motivate the Nettes to get their claws out: Carla Boozer, Andrea Kirilenko, Geri Sloan (dare you to try that to his face)...



* A quick thank you to the Bobcats for adding to the Knicks' L column last night. A fruitcake is in the mail.

Knicks/Jazz/Wolves Grab Bag

Some random thoughts on the intertwined Jazz/Knicks seasons. Any true Jazz fan has a vested interest in the Knicks' stockpiling some L's.

8-15
I expected a little more from the Knicks. Which, as a Jazz fan, is to say: I expected a little less.

3rd place in the Atlantic/Titanic division? Yes, only the Celtics are over .500 and the rest of the division = the tragic Nettes, the glory-day-desperate Sixers, and a team that- let's be honest- will never be Canada's Team (but may very well be on their way to becoming Chris Bosh's First Team). Still, even in such a lousy division, third place is overachieving for what my Jazz Draft Expectations have in mind. With the Bobcats, Beat-a-bulls, and Clippers on the docket, this could be bad.

What can we do to turn this around?

Isiah Thomas should be given a second (third? eighth?) chance. Sign Spike Lee to a 10-day that he can film called Spike Going To Work or, alternately, Some Black Men Can't Jump Either. And why not bring back some former Knick to sell tickets? Ewing? Grandmama? I hear Sprewell is looking for work. And little Nate Robinson should be playing major minutes with an eternal green light (just remember, D'Antoni, how prominently green figured into Nate's dunk contest antics last season).

Speaking of Kryptonite...

The T-Wolves Own The Jazz
Kryptowolves have 4 wins this season, two of them against the Jazz, the most recent last night at EnergySolutions Arena, where the Jazz have formerly boasted a decent home court advantage. So much for building on wins against Orlando and The Kobes. Thank goodness Minny won't be a playoff threat. Now we just have to hope the Jazz are. Sheesh, it only makes me hate Mike Love all the more.

Johnny Flynn Has Wolves Fans Asking "Ricky Whobio?"
For one night, at least. I couldn't resist the headline.

Free Jazz

In tribute to Ornette Coleman (who played on an album of Joe Henry's, whose new record will likely crack my End Of Year Top 10), here's some free Jazz- i.e. random, non-associated thoughts about the Jazz.

I hate to say it, but BOOZER IS A MONSTER. I have long derided his ability to have the least impressive 20pt/10reb games in the history of basketball, sneaking in bunches of points during inconsequential minutes, making little impact on the game. But, after a shaky start to the season and- if we're being honest here- a completely douchey offseason, he's coming through in a big way. Of course, you'd have to be stupid not to see the "Contract Year" and "Trade-ability" in his eyes, not to mention "Shove It, Fanbase" and "Do You Remember What I Did To Cleveland?". But, after so much open hostility on my part and a large part of Jazz fans, it had to be said: BOOZER IS A MONSTER.

MILSAP? The question mark is the operative part. This season, after Portland basically weaseled the Jazz into throwing money at Milsap (and look at the karma you get, Blazers, for your conniving ways), we knew it'd be a tough go. Especially with fewer minutes and the insecurity of knowing that you have to- in some ways- defer to The All Star/Olympian On His Way Out. I'm not saying this is a Steve Young/Joe Montana situation, but you've gotta feel for Milsap. I still love his energy and hustle, undauntedness and athleticism, not to mention fearless ability to get points/boards WHEN IT MATTERS. But, again we're being honest here, he's been pretty quiet this year. Last year, as an understudy thrust onto the main stage, he proved himself. So we stopped paying him understudy money, only to continue giving him understudy minutes. Can't blame the guy for being a little lost.

BEST HOCKEY TEAM IN THE NBA. That wretched 4th quarter in L.A. proved it. 3 great periods. And an historically hideous one. Watching the ORL and (second) LA games, it felt to me- even in W's- that their play became more tenative. Haters blame Sloan, but I don't see that. I see a team tightening up. And, mostly, it feels like D-Will sometimes hits the brakes (fatigue? coaching? nerves?). It sort of feels like the old adage about "not playing to win, rather playing NOT to lose" which is an epic recipe for losing.

WES MATTHEWS. The Jazz aren't the best draft team in the league, but- like all-time leader John Stockton- they've gotten some steals. Wes Matthews is the latest.

EXCUSES, EXCUSES. "Kobe was hurt." "Short-handed." "Blah blah blah." The media has no shortage of AP Stylebook-approved excuses for bigtime teams losing to the Jazz. But a W is a W. Orlando was up 18 and couldn't hold on. The Lakers got a clunker from an injured Kobe. Guess what, league? Coming from a team that's had more than its fair share of injuries over the past few years (Boozer, Williams, Okur, Kirilenko, Korver, CJ Miles and on and on), let me just quote Justin Timberlake (who was borrowing from about 18 gazillion other pop culture aphorisms): WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

B-RUSS. I'm torn. I was never a big Bryon Russell fan in the first place (my brother would have me shot with rocksalt for saying so), but this whole publicity thing has me divided. Part of me likes that he's calling out Jordan (not that Jordan is listening to the little buzzing mosquito). And part of me is really sad at how desperate and smalltime it all sounds. My least favorite Beach Boy Mike Love called out the Stones (among others) during his Rock n Roll Hall of Fame speech. And the Stones didn't so much as bat a bloodshot eye. I'm not sure if Jordan is Mike Love in this situation (the speech part? yes. the talent/legend part? no.), but it seems like it fits somehow. And, by the way, is Mike Love really Kevin Love's uncle? Please say no.

Euro Jazz

Who would've guessed that- with a booming record of 3-10- the Knicks would, at this point in the season, only be the league's THIRD worst team? The soon-to-be-Frankless Nettes are, by all indications, shooting for the January cover of Oprah's O magazine. As in O-for-the-season-so-far. And the Timberwolves? Well, nobody really expected much there, now did we, Mr. Rambis...

The combination of the Knicks' encouraging (for a Jazz fan) unimpressiveness and the breakout year of former Euroleaguer Brandon Jennings turns our hopeful eyes to Europe. Who are the top Euro-league prospects not named Ricky Rubio that the Jazz should consider?

Milenko Tepic? His profile here says he's not very athletic but has a "great attitude on and off the court." Oh great. If that interests you, my wife has a friend with a "really sweet spirit" she'd love to set you up with.

Nikola Pekovic? His profile essentially says he's a power player with almost no inside moves and terrible range. Add to that the fact that he's an undersized center who'd undoubtedly move to power forward in the NBA and suddenly I'm not that excited. Oooooh, but look at the notes:
Notes: A solid prospect, and one to keep an eye on

Come on, Europe. What about a Jennings-esque American who bucked Stern's "Can't Play Straight Outta High School" mandate? Is there one out there? Please?

FLIPping the script

The firing of Hornets' coach (and 2008 Coach Of The Year, but that's ancient history) Byron Scott got us thinking about our CP3 Is The New KG theory.

On the one hand, the firing flips (pun most definitely intended) the script and proves us wrong. Flip Saunders had a nice long tenure (96-05) for the T-Wolves. The coach-go-round, starring McHale and Casey, started after he left. In fact, to KG's credit, it seemed like he never blamed or even insinuated that poor team play was a coach's fault. (Ahem, Deron Williams and your comment that the Jazz barely practice playing or playing against the zone.)

On the other hand, the firing proves us right. The Hornets are clearly acting to keep their franchise player happy. They need to win and win now. As a Jazz fan, I can relate to this sentiment; all Jazz fans have this stomach-sick dread that we're squandering our D-Will years and are just making it easier for him to leave (but Jerry Sloan is going nowhere and I, unlike a huge contingent of Jazz fans, don't think he should be replaced). CP3 is the new KG because his franchise is being bold (OK. Not bold. Bold wouldn't make cost-cutting moves in the offseason. Bold wouldn't hope for the best. But it would seem this is some kind of repentance for their cheapskate offseason, no?) in their efforts to right the ship and keep him happy.

Good luck, Jeff Bower. Also, please give my regards to your wife for a nicely written Wikipedia page.

Sacramento Kings: Apparently Faithful Readers Of The Black Converse

It's a bittersweet moment today at The Black Converse.

Sweet because clearly the Kings are our most faithful readers and have used our unfriendly wager as bulletin board motivational material. And it's working. City of Sacramento, you're welcome. We're happy to spur your boys on.

Bitter because, with a W last night (led by...Jason Thompson? Who? [hitting Wikipedia. No good. Hitting ESPN.com's profile page. He went to Rider? He makes $2 million this year?]), the Kings are now 4-4 and waaaaaaaaay ahead of pace to stick Charlie T and me in the lower bowl of Energy Solutions Arena on January 29. Against our will, but true to our word. I believe I heard Charlie T say these words today: "Well, I've never sat courtside at a Jazz game before." Ugh.


Is this guy to Sacto as Paul Milsap was to Utah the last couple years? The secret you hope nobody (aka: Portland) finds out about?

In other Sacramento news, Kevin Martin (since we know you and your Kings are our readership), you may want to brush up on your understanding of Bill Simmons' The Ewing Theory.

PS: Thanks for reading, Kings. The Princes jokes will stop soon.

Win/Win or Lose/Lose

The Jazz are in NYC to face the Knicks, which means a win is a double win (a road win AND another loss towards the Knicks' lottery campaign) and a loss is a double loss (a road loss to a very beatable team AND another win against the Knicks' lottery campaign).

In a season where:

- the Jazz appear to be a very well-motivated hockey team (3 winning and solid quarters, lots of fouls. Come on. If there were no fourth quarter, this team would be killing it. Ah, but there IS a fourth quarter. And this team is getting killed.)
- the Jazz got a loss to a Kevin Martin-less team of misfit toys (potentially the tipping point to The Black Converse having to attend the January 29 Jazz/Kings game)
- the Jazz beat the Spurs on the FRONT end of a back-to-back
- the Jazz let Dirk believe his hair had Samsonian qualities
- the weak interior defense has led many Jazz fans to (silently) wonder what Greg Ostertag is up to

it's not too hard to see how a W against this particular Knicks team could be a bona fide must-win. Unless you're shooting for TWO lottery picks...

Dear Pat Riley, xo- Carlos Boozer

Dear Pat Riley,

Enclosed you will find a set of multimedia materials:

- a DVD of my highlights from last night's Spurs/Jazz game at EnergySolutions Arena
- VHS and Beta versions of the same footage, because you're old school
- a quote from a reputed ESPN article that has Mehmet Okur saying, ""Everybody was active, especially from the defensive end," in which the term everyone must necessarily include myself and thus is a direct reference to my defensive activity.
- A screenshot of a few trade scenarios that worked on ESPN's Trade Machine.
- A box score that highlights my 27 points and 14 rebounds.
- A signed-in-blood covenant to always defer to Dwyane Wade and yourself.
- 3 complimentary cans of Dapper Dan hair pomade.

Sincerely,

Carlos Boozer